A couple of days ago I celebrated a birthday. The Relief Society presidency dropped by with a truly tacky card with a quick message scribbled on it and were clearly in a hurry. One of the presidency, who I don't even know, just stayed on the walk - not even bothering to come close to the front door. The other climbed up to our porch but obviously was just dropping the card off so she could cross that chore off her to-do list. It was pretty clear she didn't care at all it was my birthday - couldn't spend a minute to chat, despite the fact we were friends previously. RS president, who is a real beeotch, didn't bother to come, possibly because she knows I think she's a real beeotch.

Then, tonight I went to a basketball game at the church. DD got roped into playing by a good friend who is a basketball fanatic. The team is terrible and had to combine two wards because not enough girls in either YW's want to play. DD is reasonably athletic so her friend begged her to play so they didn't get creamed by the other teams in the stake. I hate it when DD goes to anything Mormon so I went to watch and to drive her back and forth. They had two games going - one inside and one at some basketball hoops that are at the end of the parking lot at the stake center. They gathered all the girls together before the games started and made them say the Young Women's motto. And, get this, the YW leaders who were sitting on chairs in the gym STOOD UP for the motto, while the other parents looked at them funny. The motto was chanted with the usual lack of enthusiasm. Tell me again this isn't a cult. I was surprised no one said "Heil Hitler" at the end. There were two Mormon women I liked there (I'm just mad at MOST Mormon women right now - I realize there are exceptions). The beeotch RS president was there watching her daughter play as was the YW president in our ward. Both completely ignored me and I ignored them back.

So here is my point. Why do Mormon women act so bitchy, based on unsubstantiated lies (no one still has asked me why I'm not at church), jump to conclusions, are quick to condemn and even quicker to throw away any pretense of following the Savior and THEN think if they suddenly start acting all sweet and sugary, we'll suddenly think they are nice and forget about what MONSTERS they were and how badly they behaved? Why do they think we'd ever want to lower our standards to hang out with them? Seriously, I think these women ARE stuck in a junior high mentality where the biggest witches run the school and treat everyone like crap but if they suddenly decide they like you, as a teen girl you think you have "arrived" and forgive and forget and even feel honored to be with the cool girls.

Note to Mormon women: The real world works on a different dynamic than the junior high. We learn to see through girls like you and do NOT consider it an honor to be friends with you. We are ashamed to find we actually made friends with such shallow, un-Christlike, turncoats and feel relieved to be free of you. Like someone in Gone With the Wind told Scarlett O'Hara "Trash hanging on to your coattails can ruin you." Let go of my coattail and don't come running after me with your sugary treats. It won't make me forget how I saw you behave nor will it make me forget what you really are. You are seriously off your rocker to think it will.

I know what you mean. In my ward they are nice to me but we will see how nice they are when I leave the church. I've seen them be bratty to others and leave them out, which is really annoying.

I live next door to one and wow, what a bitch!!!! Right to the core bitch. It must be in her DNA. Don't other Mormon's to join their cult??? Why would they go door-to-door if they didn't? Not to self, quit being bitchy and perhaps more will join your religion and then we can ALL get our own planets.

Sammie2003 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I live next door to one and wow, what a bitch!!!!
> Right to the core bitch. It must be in her DNA.
> Don't other Mormon's want others to join their cult??? Why
> would they go door-to-door if they didn't? Not to
> self, quit being bitchy and perhaps more will join
> your religion and then we can ALL get our own
> planets.


Left out the "want others to join their cult".

I think most BIC mormons stop developing emotionally by the age of 12 so it's like dealing with a bunch of junior high kids in adult bodies.

I'm not defending their behavior, because it is NOT ok, but I think it is explainable. Teenage girls constantly feel self-conscious and judged, and excluding others is the best coping mechanism they have. Mormon women can never get over feeling self-conscious and judged, so some of them never get over their childish ploys. I don't excuse them, but I do pity them.

Try being a bloke who hadn't gone on a mission or whose family wasn't well known in the church. They just looked at you and walked away.

CA girl-I could have written that!! They are bitches...there is no better word for them. Some of my best friends (haha) in my old ward were ignorant,dismissive,backstabbing women. One was my best friend. Hasn't spoken to me since I became an apostate. I heard from none of the women in RS for 18 months. Then came my birthday in July-and I got a card that said "we love you and miss you. From YOUR RS sisters"

Gag me now.

I hear ya. I think the church keeps members perpetually adolescent in order to more easily control them. Add the holier-than-thou attitude and you get this bullshit.

Being in RS is like being stuck in 10th grade forever.

I also got a RS bday card. In the mail. Nevermind I saw the 1st con at the grocery store and she ignored me.

Eff those bitches. So glad I have real, genuine, mature friends now.

I completely identify with this thread!

I think I'll save your post, CA Girl, because sometimes I let these creatures make me feel bad, and I need to be reminded how juvenile, shallow, and cruel they are. I had a calling in the YW for many years, and I felt that the mothers were far more petty, competitive, and back-biting than the daughters were. You are right--some Mormon women never become grownups.

I regret that I allowed them to make me cry! These were my friends, my neighbors, and our children used to play together, but now I no longer exist in their world. I feel that it can be psychologically and emotional devastating to be "erased."

Unfortunately, this manipulative behavior works--especially in families--and the lonely ex-Mormon returns to the fold. Of my friends who have returned, only one has stayed, because she married a Mormon. The others realize that they become very depressed in Mormonism, and a little shunning is a small price to pay for a happy life.

Birthday cards like Ca Girl, Loveskids, and I have received deserve RETALIATION of some kind! The last RS birthday card that was left on my porch, dollar-store candy, had the wrong name on it! I think it is harassment to our own private birthday to remind us that we are being shunned by our ex-cult. Talk about a birthday buzz-kill!

Perhaps we should send each of these bi-otches one of those birthday cards that makes fun of your age, or a card that says, "Happy 50th Birthday" when she's 40, or a Christian bookstore card. Stuff it in the mailbox, along with some very fattening gooey chocolate, on a hot day. Misspell her name, and write that Jesus misses her.

The only thing I understand about this horrible behavior, is that shunning does give one a perverse sense of power. I admit that sometimes I ENJOY shunning them back.

Can you imagine any NORMAL woman snubbing you because you've worked hard, and have built a nice career to support your children? Or, that you ask perfectly innocent, logical questions sometimes?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2011 03:46AM by forestpal.

"Perhaps we should send each of these bi-otches one of those birthday cards that makes fun of your age, or a card that says, "Happy 50th Birthday" when she's 40..."


Oh, that's goooood.... ;-)

forestpal wrote:

"Perhaps we should send each of these bi-otches one of those birthday cards that makes fun of your age, or a card that says, "Happy 50th Birthday" when she's 40, or a Christian bookstore card. Stuff it in the mailbox, along with some very fattening gooey chocolate, on a hot day. Misspell her name, and write that Jesus misses her."

Woooooooooooooo!! Hysterical. I'm in!

;o)

Im glad to see a post about mo shunning. I have grown tired of that above all else that they dish out. After my divorce, they were especially shunning. Even though he was the cheater,liar and abuser, I was considered the bad one for not staying. It just baffles me how many ward members asked me if I couldnt get him back. It was unbelievable stupidity. "Well we hate to see a temple marriage break up." How could they see a My neighbor found it very hard to even talk to me. I was poor now, and divorced and done with the church after all the lack of support and stupidity that I was being confronted with on a daily basis. And if Id remind him that I didnt want him back...he cheated, Id hear crap like "well u must have really done something to upset that nice man. " OMG!!!!

That's something that I definitely noticed when I lived in Utah years ago (originally from the east coast).

So many of the woman seem to be stuck in that junior high mentality. It was annoying enough dealing with those types when I was a teenager. Who wants to deal with that as an adult?

I just found the card as I was cleaning up this a.m. Someone had stuck it in with some bills I had to pay. I shredded it and feel a bit better now. lol

They're beotches because:

1. Their garments are riding up their asses and whoo hahs.

2. They are made to be subservient to the penishood.

3. They all hate their callings no matter how they portray it.

4. They envy you.

5. Their husbands couldn't give them an orgasm with a kick-start vibrator.

Just sayin'...

Ron

Sick. But simple. It is YOUR job to forgive them. No matter how egregiously they behave.

And if you don't, YOU are the one being wicked.

Don'tcha love the TBM mindset? :)

While I was never one of the "in" people and so never behaved quite like this, I remember what it was like being a mormon woman. I was supposed to be friends with every woman in the ward. That's not in the least bit natural. At the same time, since the church puts so much emphasis on perfection and busy work, I was secretly in competition with those same women. That certainly contributed to not being a true friend to anyone.

To put a cherry on top of this delicious treat, I was also supposed to acknowledge each and every birthday with a store bought card and treat on top of every other busy, nonsensical, make work tasks designed to make me never think, never sleep and hate my life. That also didn't make me very happy or very friendly.

Now that I'm free to be authentic, I'm happier, I'm nicer and I'm much more pleased with myself than I ever was as a mormon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2011 12:40PM by Devoted Exmo.

I'm just one of the many who completely identify with this post.

At the end of May I received an RS birthday card in the mail. Also included was an ad for a business that was owned by the RS person sending the card. (Not sure if it was my VT or a member of the RS presidency. I did not recognize the name. I have been out of the church since 2004.)

I concluded that the person was really just trying to drum up business for herself. Although it included RS greetings, I thought it was strange receiving a birthday card in May when my birthday is in December. (I also received a birthday card then. Always do.)

Wow! That really is strange! I thought using the ward roster for drumming up business was a real no-no.

morg corridor like M&M's. There's a lot of pathological socio-psychology, if you will in the morgbot culture. The men aren't any better. Morons perform acts of kindness out of duty, obligation, assignment, and one-upmanship. Their motivations are screwed up. Most churches truly want to give and be kind for the sake of reaching out to people..there's not pretentions.

unless they're being bred for leadership) to grow up beyond the early teens explains why the ward library is 'off bounds' to anyone execpt the librarian.

When i became librarian i thot that was idiotic, as i could make photocopies at the public library and most adults have seen and used (and maybe even own) a photocopier, i didn't think it was right to keep adults from making their own copies. So i let them.

I also decided that people who could go to the public library and sign out materials could do so at a rinky-dink church library too. So my library was set up as 'user-friendly'. It took people awhile to get it, but it ensured i didn't have to come early to church to get stuff for people. I still did stuff if someone asked me too, but it was not required.

AS soon as i was released (i asked to be because i was pregnant and sick), it went back to the normal babysitting way. i thot maybe the ward had learned something, but i guess not. obedience is more important than having a grown-up ward.

At least i understand why, now.

heh, heh. it was always fun when new missionaries came and wanted me to get something like books of mormon for their classes. i would shock them by pointing out where they were and telling them to get them themselves. They got used to it pretty quickly.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2011 02:49PM by karin.

I ran into a girl from my ward that I have never attended at the park about five years ago. We didn't realize we lived in the same neighborhood until we started talking to each other (our kids are the same age). Turns out I live five houses down and across the street from her. At the time she asked if I was new, which I wasn't. I had lived there for at least a year. We have seen each other outside several times and she doesn't even look my way at all and hasn't talked to me since I ran into her. Her husband is always friendly and waves. I guess she realized I wasn't part of the "in" crowd.

Talk about being treated like you are a loser!

I've told the story many times about the old R.S. president--I had 3 of her kids in primary--and her daughter in YWs. I taught R.S. under her for a few years and she called me out on saying we should teach sex education in schools.

So--a few years after my ex left--she came by my house on my birthday in the evening and said, "I was going to take you to dinner for your birthday, but I had something else I had to do." I'm like, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" Like I wanted to do something with you??? I told her my ex took me to Maddox (for those who live in Northern Utah) and he did.

I seem to run into this bitch everywhere I turn. She sent me a valentine card with her family picture on it. I hung it on the refrig. I do that for "effect."

Many of my neighbors are great. I am really lucky as I do live in Utah and I have a lot of really nice mormon ladies who are my friends.

BUT working in YWs was the worst job I ever had. It was just like jr. high (like you said) and it wasn't the beehives (who I was over) who were the problem. I asked to be released. I thought it would be a FUN JOB--it was the WORST.

I actually didn't get a birthday card this year from the ward. Maybe it is because I resigned--but I doubt it. I haven't been home most of the summer and I assume my ex (and I know my daughter) has told the ladies in the ward that I am living with my boyfriend. I'd love to hear the gossip . . .

+1 to the comment about self-consciousness and insecurity. This thread pretty much sums up the materialistic, social-climber mentality that I loathe in so many people (not just Mormon women). I'm finding this attitude outside the church too and it drives me crazy. Why do people care so much about social status?

-Being in RS is like being stuck in 10th grade forever.

-I think most BIC mormons stop developing emotionally by the age of 12 so it's like dealing with a bunch of junior high kids in adult bodies.

* Do they 'still' require that a PH holder be present in the building while they have meetings? Pity the poor guy.
But, this jives with the 'Meeting Block' thing that meetings are co-scheduled, doesn't it?

It also supports males spending additional time in the Busy-Work scheme.

Unfortunately, this idea-policy is reinforced by male assaults on women 'alone' doing their Busy-Work in chapels, Bellevue & others.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2013 01:48PM by guynoirprivateeye.

Who is generally considered a superwoman among her TBM community (at least if you judge by what's on her FB page!!:-)

She and TBM fam live in UT-we are in NY. We don't go to the weddings of the myriad TBM nieces and nephews (almost all are in the temple), and they certainly haven't come to our kids'. But when DD married MIL and FIL needed support (too afraid to be amon ex and nevermos by themselves) so SIL and her DH decided to come with them. MIL and FIL bailed at the last minute (another story) and, since SIL and BIL were only coming to support them, they bailed as well. Which left DH with not one person from his huge, well-off TBM family from UT coming to our daughter's wedding. A few weeks later SIL sends me a message all sweetsy saying how bad she felt about not being at the wedding and some other lies. I called her out. After 30+ years of listening to her TBM bs I straight out called her out and told her to save her phony sentiment- I just couldn't take it anymore. She retorted by saying that I hadn't been to any of her kids' weddings and called me MEAN! LOL...flashback to 7th grade!!

I just can't take the phony crap from them. Actions speak louder than words!

This subject makes me very angry.

I've found that there are 3 types of Mormon women -

1) Those who are above the bs, work hard, & have absolutely nothing to do with gossiping or anything like that. They tend to be leaders because they know how to get stuff done, but sometimes not. They don't have baby voices either.

2) Pretty perfect women. Not Molly in appearance at all (can't be wearing sloppy clothing mind you), but maybe in behavior. Shallow. Thinking they're perfect. Thinking that the "sweet spirits" are sinning losers who deserve all the misery they get. Fake sweet voices.

3)"Sweet spirits" who think group #2 are total sinning bitches & total fakes who need to repent.

Basically groups 2 & 3 hate each other, each thinking they're morally superior to one another for some reason, with group 1 telling them to knock it off.

I was a TBM, but tried to never be rude. Listening to the Mormon women's gossip always made me uncomfortable--what were they saying about ME when I wasn't there.

Anyway, when I stopped going to church, I thought I could still be friends with my TBM neighbors, outside of church. But they snubbed me at the PTA meetings, school activities, the soccer, basketball and baseball games, and even at the grocery store. Our children were team mates. I was a team mother. I was once PTA President. We were neighbors, for heck sake! I never did anything bad or suspicious or secretive--yet I was being treated like a criminal. I tried for a few years to overlook this, to make excuses for them, to try to like them.

It took me a long time to come to the conclusions that CA girl has come to: they are beeotches who behave like teen-agers. Not only that, their standards are below mine. I don't lie. I am not deliberately cruel. I don't hate.

As much as anything, the Mormons' racism has always upset me. I am ashamed that I once wanted to be friends with these creepy, hate-filled, narcissists. Brrrrr. It makes me shiver. As one poster said, I'm now shunning them, and I'm enjoying it.

Definitely!!

Definitely!!!

Oh I'm with you there. I'm a nevermo but live in mormonland az (mesa). Most of my girl friends I've grown up with are mormon. Most of them are okay about 70% of the time but sometimes when we're all together the only thing they do is gossip about other mormon women they know in common, church stuff, or other mormon related stuff. They do give me the sympathetic eye too often as a married 29 year old woman who gasp, has a career, a home but no children. It's a little insane how insane they find me but I find them even more bizarre. I enjoy that I will turn 30 without being a mother of five children, that I'll have children essentially when I WANT to not because I've been taught to do so since I was a young girl. That I actually get to spend time with my husband and we took years of dating to really know each other. I know too many who are just faking it because they have to and that is sad.

They are just so damn rude sometimes. Talking about things and chiming to me "you aren't a member you wouldn't understand" or any such remarks. The worst though is a mutual girlfriend, who also is a never but has five kids, talks like a mormon, dresses like one, judges like one but her husband refuses to be part of the church. It's annoying that she pretends to be one so hard just so they'll like her.

I used to describe it as "...can't rub two thoughts together"

I think it relates to the compartmentalization techniques required to be a TBM. When one has the skills to recognize that "A contradicts B" or "B leads to C" - especially in situations were personal ethics and individual value are concerned, the self-evaluation required to recognize that "I made a mistake" goes right out the window.

Or - maybe it's the other way around. Probably more that. Because believing in the church requires "I didn't make a mistake," maybe that often translates to "I don't make mistakes" which quickly becomes a disconnect between "what I did" and "how someone else feels".

Just some thoughts spewed forth during a caffiene high.

Maybe deep down they just freakin' hate the cult. They get older and discover that it's all mind games, and it grinds on them because they're trapped by guilt and fear.

For a bunch of chicks who would rather die than get fvcked, they sure don't mind being fvcked in the head.