I haven't posted for a few days. Then when I do, I get attitude. It's discouraging sometimes.

To a tangential remark I made on a thread about sex, a topic on which I had no useful comment and said as much, poster guynoirprivateeye replied:

"QUICK! somebody remind me what the OP was about;

I have a Strong Feeling it wasn't about bridges..."

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,296010,296010#msg-296010

I've noticed lately that quite a few posters have commented about other posters' choices of subject matter, ways they express their thoughts and feelings, how they reply, where they reply, the number of replies made by a single poster and etc.

There is no rule about posting only one reply per thread or about continuing a discussion by starting a part 2 thread or about whether or not it's cool to direct a response to a specific poster by name, etc.

Yes, everybody appreciates courtesy, such as not frankly derailing a thread and/or writing multiple non-substantive replies that fill up a thread and cause it to close before the OP is well answered. But that doesn't mean there is an actual rule about how many responses one poster can or should make or that it is forbidden or impolite to reply to a responder rather than the OP or to reply to an offshoot that crops up in someone else's reply.

I see a thread as a conversation amongst several people and conversations are usually dynamic, often tangenting off in many directions. Within reason, I don't think it is discourteous to reply to a secondary point or to a responder on a thread rather than to the OP.

On this particular thread this time, I acknowledged the OP by saying I had nothing to contribute to the main discussion but I wanted to pick up on a point made by another poster.

It happens all the time here, on many threads, by countless posters.

I'm not making a big deal of it only because the privateeye's comment was directed at my post but because, as I said, I've noticed that fairly often lately posters comment about how many responses other posters make and whether their post is on topic or not, etc. I don't remember it being such a big deal before - if a thread fills up, just start a part 2. I don't think many people are purposely being impolite to an OP. If we have to worry every time we post that we're transgressing a major rule, especially an unwritten one, it doesn't make for a comfortable posting atmosphere.

If the OP is offended or upset by my tangential comment, I'd consider perhaps apologizing but generally I don't see a tangential reply in answer to another responder's point/s as being an issue. I don't think it's a derail either - to me a derail is more like going completely off the topic of the thread and ignoring the OP altogether, perhaps filling up a thread with inanities or other frivolity that prevents a thread from being substantive or otherwise not going the way an OP would wish or hope for.

I'm not trying to tell people how to post, in this case at least. Just saying that I didn't think my reply hurt the thread or ignored the OP or otherwise caused a problem that required a seemingly snooty comment back. The thread was already over the 30-count when I responded anyway, iirc, meaning that I did not rob the OP of the chance to get 29 substantive replies that were directly on point.

I think that if tangents on threads were such a big deal, there would be a board rule against it, or Admin would step in and comment about it, or the OP would complain.

Keeping in mind my visualization of each thread as a conversation that ebbs and flows and meanders and expands, I don't see that a few wanders here and there hurt the OP, the readers, the other responders, or anybody really. And if it's one of my threads, I'm just happy that anybody reads or answers or cares or contributes anything at all.

One way around possibly offending an OP or readers of a particular thread would be to start a new thread every time one had a thought or comment or reaction that wasn't strictly on point re the opening post. That could get a bit ponderous though. I do that quite often if the subject I end up focusing on is a clear departure from the OP. Sometimes, though, when I think it does no harm, I will tangent on a thread by replying to another poster about a comment of theirs that may or may not be directly on topic for that OP.

I mean no disrespect and wish no ill by that.

Sometimes you just want to make a quick reply and don't see the need to start a whole new thread.

Sometimes you don't spend an hour uber-analyzing the whole big deal of it all before writing a few words about something that catches your eye.

Sometimes you just want to post for once without having to parse every single bloody word you write to avoid being offensive to someone somewhere, especially about something that wasn't meant to be a big hairy deal in the first place.

So shoot me for talking about female engineers instead of sex one time on one thread.

Maybe some of the male responders on that thread could fantasize about engineers tonight and then my post there about bridges would be right back on topic!

Besides, sometimes sex is like building bridges.

Or something like that...



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/16/2011 02:14AM by Nightingale.

I love tangents! Especially when the topic is sex, really, how can people be expected to follow rules?

and anyone, including the OP, can continue a thread if they are so moved. It seems to me that free speech is the more important principle, especially when anyone can just return the thread.

Malicious hijacking is quite another thing and that should just be reported (which is anonymous) and let Admin decide.

Keep in mind that Mormonism fosters passive aggressive behavior so you will see people attacking the form of the conversation instead of the substance.

Anagrammy

Just kidding. ; )

I do like to see flexibility in the conversations that occur on RfM. Heck, when I start a thread, I'm excited just to see it get topped by ANY comment. : )

Observe:

Alcoholics anonymous is the best way to deal with alcoholism.

Regular Jesus was totally a real person.

People who don't have children are selfish.

Catholicism is also a cult.

Posters should only post legitimate criticisms of the church. Not petty bickering.





Mwahahahahahahaha!

Do you like riding bikes?

rules of board etiquette, not to mention disregarding established protocol and otherwise ignoring important issues of a culturally sensitive nature. There may have even been infringements against thread ownership and property interests.

That said, I prefer tanladies over tangents.

Please carry on.

(This has been a public service announcement by Captain Rulemeister.)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/16/2011 06:31AM by steve benson.

Let admin be admin, that is why we get paid the big bucks. If you think something is over the line, hit report or mail me direct, ExMoLight@gmail.com. The report button is NOT anon. It gives me your name, it does not give me your email so if you want a reply mail me direct.

WE DO NOT NEED A NANNY -
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/nanny.htm

Be it for spelling, grammar, OT, or anything else. We are about content around here. We want everyone to feel free to participate and NOT BE JUDGED. Think someone has a problem, mail. Need help because English is not your first language, mail. Think someone is a constant hijacker, mail.

This was typed without my glasses so if there are mistakes, suck it up :P And Benson, peaches are best so there.

I just wanted to interrupt the thread to talk about cussing.

at least it is not in the bloody subline ;P

So, speaking of which, what are you having for dinner tonight?

Can't I get no respect? :)


(LOL Dagny - yeah, in my house 'bloody' isn't even considered cussing. I never thought about it before but maybe it sounds like a strange swear word to North Americans? I like it lots. It feels good to say it when you're mad and it doesn't even hurt my notoriously delicate little ears! When something isn't working you can yell "this bloody bloody THING" and then you feel better even if the thing is stubbornly still not working. My other favourite that my mom and aunts use is "damn and blast". That is for when you're _really_ mad! That one doesn't hurt my ears either. It's all win/win for me). :)

used with real cuss words that would make your ears bleed. I find bloody as a prefix adds just the right touch :).

it turns out that I'm the bozo who did that, and then I have to yell at myself and then I become offended and defensive and yell back at myself and then I decide that tangents aren't so bad...and I have found that Kenya AA is a particularly delicious variety of coffee if you like hand-dripped coffee...not that the new Payson temple design isn't strange.

;o)

Thanks for all the laughs throughout all the threads, especially the self-tangents. Some of those are real keepers!

I think some force in the universe is using me to offset and balance that with my sometimes (always?) inane and disorganized commentary. I'm performing a service for the universe--an often thankless task, but somebody has to do it. ;o)

Do you alternate chairs or switch hats or something gestaltish like that?

...just realized that's four words. But you get the idea. ;o)