Posted by:
anon123
(
)
Date: September 21, 2011 09:05PM
I'm not jealous. I'm not resentful. I'm sad. And I feel like I'm in the final stage of recovering. And then it's just waiting to move out and discover who I am. I want to stay here. Stay in my room, go to a nearby college. Be able to come home every night and gripe to my parents about how hard college is. What kid doesn't want that? But, my father has made it clear. I'm under his control until I move out of this house. He thinks that'll be in two years. I smirk to myself when I think how shocked he will be when I take my own life into my own hands in about 9 months.
Just. All I ever wanted was to be accepted and understood. And I've gotten that from my brother. My friends. You guys. But not from the people from whom I wish it from most. They'll probably expect me to be one of those converts who leaves at my age and comes back twenty years later. Doesn't help my young women teacher is like that. But I'm sad I can't have the relationship I used to have with my parents. And I'm not mad at them or the church. Just sad. But, after all this time. I'm beginning, just simply beginning to accept it. And maybe once I've moved out, they'll see the adult I see in myself. Thanks for listening. I love you all so very much. ((((HUGS)))))