The past week has brought many things I had always counted on into the light. I thought my family especially my father, loved me for who I am and excepted my choices.

Not so. When it come to religion the loyalty is now obvious.
The deal was about the girl not a crisis of faith. LIkes my house cause he can have his freedom but still loves his religion.

I can accept that but don't want it in my house, world or family I made. So I have to send him back to the TBMs for my own sanity.
So I am finally going to resign. Had always thought iI would wait till my father passed. But I have to do what's best for me.

My records never made to my current city for 21 years. I am going to send an e-mail. And use my maiden name and no address. I am sure they have plenty of volunteers that can find me. I got baptized nothing else.

They will likely send a letter to my parents house which they won't open. But I no longer care if they know. My mother has dementia. And my father showed how much I matter to him this past week.
In the event they approach me up here it will be a bad idea on there part. I have told them for 20 years I have no use for the church.
But once I send the e-mail I know I am no longer a member. Don't consider myself one and haven't since I was about 12.

I did read here you could e-mail it correct?

If I have to fax it I will go to kinkos, don't want them calling my house.

here's a link for a good sample and the email address you should your letter to: http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm


good luck. keep us posted how it went.

yesterday. Do a search under SusieQ as I think it was her.

I learned some of the same stuff about a friend this week. I've tried to give her the benefit of the doubt in terms of her telling me she knows I STILL BELIEVE DEEP DOWN. I told her for some reason (I don't even know why--and I don't want to search my e-mails) that I had resigned. Oh my hell. You'd think I was satan himself. She doesn't see why saying things like, "I'll pray for you" and "I KNOW that you will KNOW in the next life that I am right." Oh, okay . . . . I said, "How about I say, I know that you will find out that I am right?" I don't go around saying that.

AFter several e-mails and several days, I finally said, "If you are going to pray for me--pray for me to be happy, pray for me to be safe, but if you pray for me to return to the LDS church, then I don't want you praying for me" OR maybe we should pray that each of us will "see the light" and we can cancle out each others' prayers. (I don't pray, by the way.)

But they are so damn condescending and we are just supposed to put up with it and not get angry and then they think we under Satan's influence.

Her last comment to me was "The church means more to me than my family." I just said to my "ex"--so the church, based on a lie, means more to her than her family. Talk about a golden calf.

Mormons are just unreasonable--and we are supposed to cater to their sense of entitlement. No longer!

You did what you could. There's only so much you can bend. The old folks are no longer bendy, you already know that.

It may feel like a personal rejection, but the truth is that cult conditioning, especially for a lifetime, is stronger than familial ties.

So many people report this same problem, it's systemic sorry to say. I hope you take comfort in the fact that you were willing to help out.

Best

Anagrammy

I'm a strong proponent of taking your power back and owning it and living your life on your own terms as you choose.

I think you've run head on into the power of the "tribe" as I often say. It's often considered, in their mind, above the law of the land as they claim to answer to a higher authority.

If you need to resign your membership, or as they say: have your "name removed" this is some info for you.


Here is the Phone And Fax Number:

Member Records Division
801-240-2053 - Phone

801-240-1565 - Fax

1-800-453-3860 ext 22053 - Toll Free
Email:

dodgegw@ldschurch.org

To find local ward/stake use this link:

http://lds.org/maps/index.jsf



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2011 09:39PM by SusieQ#1.

I have lived my life in another city happily on my own terms.

My association with Mormons ends with my parents deaths.
I don't enjoy socializing with them or going to family events.

I am mostly mad at myself for again trying to help without regard to my health and sanity

down the line this nephew will appreciate your offer of help.

notmo

You can open a door to freedom, but you can't make someone walk through it. It sounds like you took reasonable steps to protect the peaceful sanctity of your home.

Good luck with your resignation.

So sorry to hear this . . I feel your pain.

I have no doubt that almost everyone on this board had some friends and family that they were SURE would not shun or abandon them, but they were disappointed.

I sure was.

To add to the humiliation and pain of being duped by a false cult for so many years, one must then have to deal with the humiliation of having put so much investment into false friends.

I really hate the mormon cult.

My Nephew joined the military. He is excited and can get away from all the stuff. Broke up with the girlfriend. He said he is ready to go find his life and travel. And no one can get make him change what he wants to do now.

He thanked me for giving him the space and love to figure things out. We never talked about the military. I simply told him he is entitled to make his own choices and live his life as he chooses.

I am proud of him for making a decision for his self.
He said that he will always be grateful for me standing at the door and telling my sister and father that my house is not a place for crazy or chaos.

And I am also glad for the knowledge I gained about religion being more important than blood.
It will allow me now with a clear head to go forward in my proper place as a godless heathen and enjoy it.

Cause no matter what else I do in the end I am not in there world.

NO regrets. And someday I will thank this nephew for giving me this great opportunity to not spend much energy thinking they accept my beliefs, they just tolerate them. I can certainly do the same. Going forward religion will be a forbidden topic around me. And since I only spend one day a week there helping my mom, they can wait till I leave.

Win win....

I am hoping that my nephew finds his truth whatever that may be out in the world.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2011 11:23PM by beansandbrews.

Oh gosh!! You did good!! I'm all teary-eyed for your nephew and for you. Wow. But I'm sorry your good deed brought out the worst in your TBM family. Very sorry indeed. But that is their loss. You are an amazing person. Thank you for sharing this here.

He is a fine young man and will succeed in all that he sets out to do. I told him we will always leave a candle burning in the window for him, su casa mi casa

Today, I had one last talk with my father, who I have admired most of my adult life, about his religion.
Told him he can't get away with choosing religion over blood. He said he has to to stay true to his beliefs.

AFter the events of the past few months, I pinned him down on how he respects my beliefs. In the end I came I asked him if he just tolerated them. He said yes. That he loves me but can't accept them. I told him I am my beliefs since that is what drives how I live.

It has been hard but I explained to him that at middle age my time is too precious to waste investing in a relationship that isn't about mutual respect.

My parents are old and my mom had a stroke in the late winter.
So for now I will still go help when I can.
But my investment into the family of TBM's is over.

I live in another town so I have a separate life. Which will now be better not trying to have them tolerate me.

And since my nephew stayed with me they are all asking me "what happened" meaning his choice to join the military.

They will never get that there self righteous behavior and judgmental BS left his young man naive and unprepared for there conditional love.