My TBM husband is on a missionary kick again and has our young neighbors in his sights. He has asked once if neighbor would like to have missionaries visit and neighbor said no. Hubby is feeling guilty that he didn't ask him again during the lull when they were passing out candy for Halloween. I hate to have him ruin a good relationship with our neighbors because he feels guilty that he isn't recruiting. Drat this #$*&% church. I've thought of quietly telling neighbors to just keep saying no and he will get the message so they know I'm not part of this.
Would you say anything or leave it alone?

I wouldn't say anything unless I catch him in the act, but that's just me.

However, if they did eventually consent to having the missionaries over, I would DEFINITELY say something.

Here's a video you might want to watch about this very situation...

Be warned that there's some cussing in it, but it might give your husband some perspective on how people being "recruited" feel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LithodidMan#p/u/71/ZP_rdoPbRRI

I loved the video. I'm sure it is indicative of anyone who has ever been harrassed by god botherers. Can't seem to understand the English for "no" and "do not harrass my children". We have a Mormon family that lives katty corner from us. They've been very good neighbors, pretty quiet, kind of a keep-to-themselves couple. But one day, my husband and I were chatting with this neighbor, the husband, and he happened to mention he was mormon and that a few of the guys where he works are mormon. He proceeded to comment that his workplace is much better because for some reason it draws mormon engineers (although, I'm sure 95% of the workforce there must have been non mormons). And the conversation moved on to other things, but afterward, I asked my husband what he thought of our neighbor's comment. My husband has never been religious or mormon for that matter, so I didn't even put my opinion out there. He said, Gosh that was a pretty arrogant thing for him to say. And I said, Bingo! So, mormons really need to put the shoe on the other foot when it comes to outsiders' views of mormon behavior.

I posted a separate thread about it because it later occurred to me that this was an issue that other people could relate to and I didn't want to hijack Dina's thread.

I do think it gives ordinary people a bad taste in their mouths when people try to inject their religious beliefs into what seems to be a budding friendship or other type of relationship. I can also empathize with Dina for being in what appears to be an uncomfortable situation... not believing in Mormonism, yet loving someone who is Mormon and is told to "witness" to other people in an attempt to bring them into the fold.

I have never known any examples of where people have successfully converted neighbours.

I know lots of examples of where neighbours have been successfully pee'd off and neighbourly relationships ruined because someone has seen fit to preach religion.

If he is feeling all "save the planets souls" get him to try his workplace. They will soon shut him up.

How about you talk to your HUSBAND! I know he wants to save the world, but you have to live with these people next door. Even animals know not to $hit where they sleep. Maybe you should recomend the old "let your light so shine as an example" crap, and if they want to be like him they will ask him for the answers.

I can just see me telling him that :) I am afraid deep down he thinks I'm a heathen anyway. He is such a good person but has this one flaw- he believes this crap.

and he should stick to the old "fellowshipping" ploy, instead of preaching to them. In the meantime, you can be a REAL friend to them.

I find no reason why you can't apologize to them for your husband, if you feel like it.

I'd also tell DH that he needs to tell them he isn't speaking for you if he wants to continue to harass them. I would give a neighbor only **one** no thank you.

After that, I'd consider them poison. That is SO rude and disrespectful to harass a neighbor more than once. If they show no interest, it's because they're NOT interested.

Besides, they always know who to ask should they change their minds. Rudely assuming they didn't know their own mind by saying no when invited is inexcuseable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2010 07:28PM by Cheryl.

You could just casually let it slip to the neigbors that hubby is LDS but you're not.

Make it a joke - ah those crazy Mormons,rolling eyes - but I love hubby and Moism is his only fault.

They'll get the idea.

An excellent, easy-going technique.


We would all warn our neighbor about a mud-puddle he/she was about to step into. Why behave differently if the mud-puddle is a cult?

It is disloyal to speak against him behind his back. If he found out, he would be justifiably hurt.

Speak to him, tell the neighbors that you aren't Mormon, let it go.

That conveys that you are contemptuous of your husband.

In normal non-Mormon society there are are some standards of behavior that people understand and adhere to. One such standard is that you do not mention or discuss your religion with other people.

I left Utah 11 years ago and moved to Maryland. In my 11 years here no person has ever mentioned anything about their religion to me. That simply is not done. It would be considered very rude to start a conversation about religion, especially if your goal is to convert the other person to your religion.

That action is so rude that your chances of actually converting the other person would be one in a million. The target of your religious discussion would be totally turned off and would probably not want to ever talk to you again about anything.

Suggestion : print my post and give it to your husband. It may be too late to teach him manners -- maybe his propensity for rudeness is so ingrained that he is beyond cure. But it never hurts to try.

I agree with you that it's rude especially after nice guy neighbor already said no. I hate that husband has to berate himself for not doing his duty in bringing people to his church. I've seen this with evangelical churches too but not to this extent.

In the past I have been furious when he interjected his religion into friendships I've made with neighbors. Now I'm mostly embarassed.

he did his missionary job, now it's time to back off and maintain a decent relationship with the neighbors. We want friends. Maybe setting an example is the best thing! Isn't that missionary work also?
Maybe something like that will get through to him.

The missionary mentality never caught on with me, even when i was a missionary. People said no. I said ok. It used to drive my comps nuts.

I liked the video but the guy should have asked his neighbor if it was alright to talk to HIS kids about Atheism and introduce them to that way of thinking.