SO...........

I gave my TBM parents a double whammy today. It made it seem worse since they're still on their spiritual high from general conference. I told them that (1) I was leaving the church and had already sent in my resignation letter 2 weeks ago and (2) I am marrying my fiance next week at the courthouse here in NYC, which wouldn't be so bad if we both weren't gay. According to them, I'm doomed: I am leaving the church for a gay man who I REALLY love, and not following the profit to become a god on Kolob.

Surprisingly they took it rather well, except for when in the beginning when I said "I'm marrying Hoang." I told them I was not happy living a lie in the church and could not deny who I was. I told them life wouldn't be worth living if it was a lie. I need to be happy and be myself, not fall into a one-size-fits-all model.

The other part that really bothered me is near the end of the conversation when they asked "why did we send you on a mission?" or rather "why did we waste $10,000 on you?" . LOL. I wanted to say "you've wasted a lot more than $10,000, given all your temple trips, firesides, meetings, tithing, etc."

In short, my parents are more worried about their money than they are for their own son's happiness. Typical Mormons they are.

May your marriage be a long and happy one!

Good for u! u should have said that, it might have helped them relise what a lie TSCC is. But congratulations!!

:)

Congrats on your marriage though! I hope you two live happily ever after.

Hope they come around eventually, but meanwhile, enjoy your life.

Blessings on your marriage! If church is important to you, start visiting churches with your new spouse and find one that feels like home!

thank you all! i'm glad you see no difference in my marriage than any other "traditional" marriage. it's about two people uniting, but a true mormon would never say that

I think it would have been better to hear what you said to your parents than what i heard from my stepson.He married a girl he hardly knew(met at byu). now they r having a baby. i would not be surprised if he comes out any time in the next few years. He told me he was gay when he was 10.His father insisted it was all in his head. i don't think so. i can see the struggle. His wife is so proud he's metro. total denial there. some day he will just have to b who he really is. which is not a bad thing. one of the most genuinely nice people i've ever known.

GOOD FOR YOU! AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Life YOUR truth!

Best wishes on getting married, I wish you a wonderful life with your true love. Hooray for New York!

It is not natural.

So if they ever say that your lifestyle is "unnatural" remind them that considering an apostasy, a change in spiritual orientation, as a financial matter is unnatural.

Congratulations, we are here for you!

Anagrammy

Congrats on your wedding!

Give your parents a little bit of time. I have a similar story - I'm from a very TBM family, left the church, came out as gay. There have been a few rough patches over the years. But anymore my sexuality isn't much of an issue. My boyfriend comes with me when I go home for Christmas. Everyone accepts my boyfriend as another member of the family.

So happy you've found your love. When is the big date?

My parents said the same thing about my mission. Of course, it's a waste of money whether or not you stay in the church, but the LDS focus on thrift can be a bit much.

Some Mormons think it's more important to pay for a mission that college. One of my comps never got through college because his parents told him he couldn't have both, and they never bothered to tell him that BEFORE he went on his mission. Good luck finding a job based on your mission!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I hope we get to see pictures!

GayLayAleJesus Wrote:
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> Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I hope we get to see pictures!


DITTO!

CONGRATS!!

I think it's perfect timing. What could be better than finding out your son has healthy self esteem, a back bone and can think for himself. Isn't that what every parent should want for their child? It really should have been one of the proudest days of their lives and I hope they realize that someday.

Congatulations! I wish you all the best.

P.S. Let me know if you two kids want a wedding cake. I have a standing policy of FREE Wedding Cake to gay RFMers getting married.

how about that wedding cake? im in NYC. I am in need of a cake of some sort.

winecountrylass@yahoo.com



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2011 02:49PM by wine country girl.

Congratulations! I wish you a very happy marriage!

Remember my mom's marriage advice: Always be bestest friends!
Love always, but like always too.

Best wishes to you both.

It's never bad timing when you start living your life as yourself and stop living it as someone else would like you to!

Congrats on your marriage and may you always be true to yourself and your family and friends!!

Much Happiness to you both! I can't help but think of the movie;"Family Tree" when everything settled in and it all came down to simply Love,acceptance, and joy. Send your parents a copy.

No, perfect timing. Congratulations to you and your husband-to-be!

Congratulations on your marriage to the one you truly love.

It sounds like your parents were thinking too much about themselves and how your "gay apostate bomb"(Thanks RJ) will affect them.

I hope they wise up soon so that they can see how vastly different the picture TSCC paints of same sex marriage is from reality.

Congrats on your marriage to the one you truly love, and on the way you handled your parents. Outstanding. I wish you and your spouse many, many decades of happiness.

Edited for grammar (sigh).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2011 03:46PM by Sorcha.

thank you all!! I feel so blessed to be a part of this blog. I feel so confident moving forward now. I really believe this will bring me happiness. I pray more people will come and just be themselves.