Children deserve to come to a stable home where they are wanted, cared for, loved, and their future needs are met. If a gay couple can provide that, they should be able to have a child through whatever means available. Because really, are the heterosexuals doing that great of a job? Teen moms, welfare moms, apathetic or indulgent parents, divorcees, new marriages, etc. Yet, somehow the idea of decent gay parents just freaks everyone out. I don't get it.
This kind of leads into the political arena which we are to abstain from....
BUT....
My opinion is no they should not have kids. I actually disagree with the use of surrogacy and fertility treatments for hetro couples too. Why? we have too many children to be adopted. No need to go thru these hassles, that costs way too much and can cause some children to be developmentally disabled also.
The animal/natural world, homosexual animals don't have young either...No religious aspects to this. Purely Darwinism.
> The animal/natural world, homosexual animals don't > have young either...No religious aspects to this. > Purely Darwinism.
Homosexual animals don't have young because they aren't smart enough to have surrogacy and fertility treatments. Humans have evolved and adapted to be smart enough to do so... so they do.
I do wish straight and gay couples would choose to adopt instead of popping more out though.
Why the drive to have a biological child when a child is wateing there for a stable home that could really do with it. This isnt a gay issue its more a welfare of children in care issue.
I think that there are lots of ethical issues involved with Donor sperm. I believe a child has a right to both the biological Mother and Father and both should be held responsible to raise and care for the child.
Sadly this is not always possible due to many reasons including divorce, death or abandonment. That’s why so many children grow up in household with out both biological parents. My husband grew up with his mother and stepfather, but still experiences the anguish and consequences of not having his own biological father as a part of his life. My best friend doesn't know who her biological father is, (he doesn't know she exists) and also grew up with her Mom and a step dad and she still suffers from not knowing her biological father. Both have had the step parent in their life from a very early age, about 2 years old.
Single parenthood and growing up without two biological parents is not always avoidable. Still I don't think children should be created purposefully in a system that designs for them to be completely denied one parent. Its not just about having two loving capable adults in their life, there is something in us as human beings that longs for a biological connection with both mother and father.
There are plenty of children who already need parents that can be adopted. I think this is a far better solution that creating children through donors.
I believe children have the "right" to loving, caring, nurturing, "parents" that want them regardless of if the parents are biological or not.
I personally know of more than one case where the biological parents have justifiably lost their children and the children have been better off for it.
If my parents told me I was adopted or created with donor eggs/sperm, it would mean nothing to me. I'd just be grateful for the loving home I grew up in.
You need a license to fish, drive and hunt, but any asshole can become a biological parent. There's nothing special about it. What makes parenthood special is what you do with it after the baby is created, not who created it.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 10/10/2011 05:25PM by dressclothes.
it is something that most people with your POV overlook!! what about us adoptees? we have 7 count em 7 adopted kids(adults now).... with no Bio blood between ANY of us..... did not having a bio around affect us??? i dont think so....know why??? i have more than one set of cousins that have BOTH adoptees and bios in their family....no discernible difference!!! so now to the point of surrogacy....where are all these children ready to be adopted? are they out there or are they being aborted??? Shannon.... how hard was it to adopt? and were there any problems associated with the adoption process or adoptees? i know the answer to part of that....but some do not.... i dont have a problem with surrogacy....however i have never really looked into it.... has anybody here?
One of my daughters is opting against biological motherhood. She's an avid recycler and maybe this is the new ethic--why not take a child off the scrap pile and give some boy or girl a real home?
If I recall correctly, there was a story posted here a couple of years ago where an uncle related by blood was not allowed to adopt the child of his sister because he was gay, even though it was the wishes of the sister that he raise the child.
Clear back in 08 or so I caused a fuss in my family because I stated that, were my health and fertility issues not so bad, I would gladly have either donated an egg, or acted as a birthmom for my BIL and his spouse.
I still believe adoption is a better rout, but I can understand why people want to have their own flesh and blood.
That said, I would much, MUCH rather see gay couples who fervently desire children, and will do their best to raise them well have them, then uneducated women raise an unwanted child in abuse and poverty, with very little in the way of resources from the same government that made abortion as unlikely an option as possible, while that child grows up and becomes a young crime statistic.
I agree that adoption is wonderful. I also will say that being a biological parent absolutey doesn't make you a good parent. Often adoptive parents are better than biological ones. They have decided to have children, gone through great lengths to get them. But you would never say, hey, you two have a child and abandon it so I can adopt it. Typically children who are adopted are done so because the original parents can't or wont take care of them.
I also think there can be a great bond between adopted parents and children. If I adopt I would consider the child equal to a child that I have biologically. I would hope the child feels the same about me. So I don't mean to belittle adoption at all.
I just don't think its a good idea to decide to create a child with the predetermined fact that the father will not be in the child life. Its creating a problem on purpose. Where as adoption is solving a problem.
For that matter, isn't the whole issue having good role models of both genders? So then as long as a caring parent or set of parents make sure that there are others in their children's live that fill that need(grandparents, aunts, uncles, good family friends, etc, etc...) then how is that any different then a child who had the life of their parent cut short, or lives with grandparents, or any other of a plethora of variations that are less then "ideal" but happen naturally all the time?
As long as all parties know who the parents will be who are going to raise the child I am all for it. AT some point the MOM (bio) may get a visitor from the child and may be asked WHY did you put me in this family and not one that has a mom and a dad? SHE must be ready to answer that. Just MY opinion. And no, I don't think it is always better that a mom and dad raise a child. Some are pathetic parents. I know. I teach.
Did anybody think to ask the gay people their answer?
As a lesbian i have been with my partner for 5 years both of us have good jobs and the means to take care of a child. we are not allowed to marry. we are not allowed to adopt. the only way for me to have a child is by finding a donor.
just saying so you know the only places where it is legal for gays to adopt is nowhere. but we can now get married in new york. go us.
Possibly the only "libertarian tendency" I have left... I'm agin' legalizing drugs or polygamy, and I believe in reasonable government with strong separations of power, including separation from media, big businesses, big labor, and religions in general... I'm definitely a secular humanist...