Posted by:
forestpal
(
)
Date: November 10, 2011 02:15AM
My children and I left together, too. I used to get that drained, hopeless, depressed feeling, too. Often, I would be physically sick, and have to go to bed on Sundays. Performing on the organ, then running to the piano to accompany the choir or the musical performances, plus rehearsing for everything, plus preparing and teaching Sunday School--I was a wreck. I worked full-time at a demanding career, and I was a single mother, but I was never that tired or discouraged during the week. After we left, I had enough energy to go skiing with the kids on Sundays!
You need to think about this, too--there is probably something else wrong, besides just frazzled exhaustion. The tiredness is just a symptom. In my case, I did not like the music at all. They had a rule that only Mormon-written music and Mormon hymns could be played at church. I used to love Bach, Mozart, and the lovely traditional Christian organ music. The hymns and Primary songs had brainwashing texts that upset me, such as "I hope they call me on a mission," and Follow the prophet."
What was really bothering me was that I did not believe in Joseph Smith or the temple! Furthermore, I was forcing my children into this false religion. I wanted to live an authentic life. Putting on a front became too exhausting.
I advise you to leave now. Stress, and the cortisol your stressed body produces, is very bad for you! Cortisol makes you gain weight like crazy. Leaving the church will be traumatic, because the Mormons will make sure it is traumatic for you. Get this stress over with, before you go through the stress of moving! Your children will be free to adjust to new schools and make new friends, when their old Mormon ties are already taken care of. Tell your family and the people in your new location, before you arrive, that you have left Mormonism. This will give them time to adjust, also. I lingered way too long, and I regret that. They wanted me to find a substitute...then they wanted me to teach two substitutes to play the organ, etc... Rip it off, like a band-aid.
As soon as you leave, the Mormons will show their true colors. It might be a little painful for your children--but they need to know that leaving was the right thing to do. You will experience true cult behavior, first hand. The Mormons do not let you leave! Normal churches just let you walk out the door, and go live your life. You will have to "take your leave."
Do not accept any blame! Don't tell people you are too tired or overloaded. The blame lies in a group that is way too demanding, that lies to its members, and even threatens its members. It is them, not you! If you don't believe, why not just tell them you don't believe? You don't need to tell them any details--they won't want to know--and debating the issues makes them upset. I didn't read anything "anti-Mormon" until after I went inactive. It was the Mormon's own nonsensical teachings and history that made me leave.
Don't mention how unhappy you are in the church, because that will hurt their feelings. Plus, they will be able to accuse you of being "offended."
You have a happy life ahead of you! You just need to clear the path a bit.
Congratulations!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2011 02:55AM by forestpal.