I have been sick for a few days so haven't been doing to much of anything. Trying to keep the 2 little guys busy and happy and fed and from bugging me. Dh went to Utah for 5 days to participate in grand daughters baptism.The one my 2 youngest and I were not invited to. The one my other 2 tbm kids that won't speak to me went to. I bet they are having a grand time. Very hurtful to me,which dh doesn't get. Anyway that's not why I'm posting. This just hit me today for some reason,and I finally got it. About 20 years ago I gave MIL a beautiful picture of Christ for Christmas. It was probably about 16x20 and I bought it at the Deseret Book Store. I know it cost more than we could afford,but I thought she would love it. Sent the picture. 6 months later we are visiting them.They live in Utah,we are in Ca. I was looking around to see where MIL put the picture. Couldn't find it. Went back the next year and really looked hard...bathrooms,closets,garage,toilet. You know,all the places you would put a beautiful picture of Christ. So every year I would do a little more looking. I never said anything to MIL because I figured she didn't display it because she didn't like me. She has lots of pictures of other lds things,JS-temples,proclamation etc. So tonight it hit me! Tbm's don't put much importance in Christ and He gets in the way of worshipping JS and the living prophet. I know my dh is offended when I play Christian music-says he doesn't like it. But one of his favorite songs is "Praise to the Man" Man I hate that song. Anyway..agree or not?

“Believers in the doctrines of modern Christendom will reap damnation to their souls.”

- Apostle Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, see pp. 45-46

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"Christianity...is a perfect pack of nonsense...the devil could not invent a better engine to spread his work than the Christianity of the nineteenth century."

- Prophet John Taylor, Journal of Discourses, v. 6, p. 167

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As you can see, no self respecting Temple Worthy saint would ever let such a thing be seen by other Temple Worthy Saints.

And it isn't so much hating Jesus, it's just that their Jesus needs the LDS stamp of approval and must be painted by a mormon.

I don't know. Seems like this is changing. More and more christ. Less and less JS. Another 20 years and Mormons = Lutherans.

I'm very sorry your DH is treating you this way. Is he still moved out then? Ultimately it's probably a good thing he's distancing himself from both you and your two youngest children.

Hopefully you'll get a nice check from him every month if/when your divorce goes through. Plus you could probably collect alimony after being married so long and supported by him.

Just a thought. ;)

I'm sad you've been having a sad weekend when you think about this. I support the last poster's idea.

I remember someone who told me, things you can do something about matter- give things you can do something about your thoughts energy plans efforts. Identify things you can't do anything about. I disagreed because I think some bad things really do matter! they are unsettling and upsetting very much! she told me talking to me, that things we can't do about dont' matter. breathe.

It helped me having someone talk with through a pretty horrible time, helped me find & learn to stick with- What you can do something to with or about. Like, I could keep labs & doctor's cards in a planner with piles of insurance billing, with index of medical phone numbers, contact names at each specialist. I could track in a calendar, note follow up appointments, follow up phone calls that need to be made. & I could do that in calm.
I could NOT handle visualizing a radical upcoming surgery to save my kids' life without sobbing. I could paint walls & select new paint.
later at the next health incident, I could not think of the upcoming surgical procedure without crying when I was driving. So I turned on the radio and sang the words to keep my thoughts off it. I couldn't change the need for the surgery.
When the child was older and needing another surgery, I shared the appointment book, the insurance billing cards, the contact names- and when they were in college getting a surgery I communicated at first as I made the calls. by the end of eight months of appointments & tumor follow up, they made the calls, setting up appointments in their own schedule (as they were at college around their classes & job at the mall.)
I still could not handle visualing the surgery outcome possibilities, I still could not handle reading statistics on this type of cancer. However I could handle chocolate powder in my coffee, and I could enjoy the rocks by the river in the foothills near by me.

Someone helped me learn to choose- what obstacle was too great for me to deal with at that instant and to distance myself from it with a series of tactics. Someone helped me learn to choose things I could do that would help out the situation-

Someone helped me learn to also distance myself or disengage from my spouse when he was filled with his own hurt or rage at that time.

We can't sacrifice every job we have and every joy in each day when something or someone is not meeting our expectations for life as wel planned it- we just can't. There must still be chocolate. or babies with laughter or comfort in simple things-

someone can help you find them. they really can.

Get someone to help you sort what you can change, and a list of things you don't like that you can't change.

finally if this person or things hurt too much & you can't engage life with them or that situation or whatever it is without loosing it- disengage.

you might be helped with someone to listen & talk it through with y ou. I know I was when something pretty upsetting was going on with me.

Thank you both Vhainya and paintinthewin. I take everything that is offered to me and use most all of it on this journey. I know I have to separate from dh,for my sanity. Yes,it will be hard on the 2 youngest,but it can't be worse than the way things are now. I took the kids on another 5 day respite,and the peace I feel when it is just the 3 of us is what I want to always feel. Not the constant hurt and betrayal and anger I feel now. I mean,if dh really thought nothing of going to Utah for 5 days without us,that we weren't invited so it must be my fault,that he would not for once in his life get a backbone... I know he won't change,and my 2 little guys are getting hurt in the meantime. My 7 year old cried for an hour when she found out her dad was going to Utah without her. It was her neice (her 31 year old brothers dd) and neice is only 4 months older than my dd. They are just like cousins. Of course,I also have the problem of DIL teaching her kids to be rude to me. Here is a phone call from 5 year old granson 6 months ago(last time I talked to him)He left a message on my voice mail. "You need to send my blue sweatshirt. It's the only one I have so send it". What happened to Hi Grandma!!! ANyway what dh has done to me,I need to learn to live with. I can't undo what he did,and still continues to do. He is much more invested in his 3 tbm kids and their families than he is in me and our 2 youngest. I hope someday things will change,but I can't fight it. I refuse to tell these 3 all the crap their dad has done. It's not their business. One of us has to have morals. Thanks for your support!

About the picture....It is just sad. Very sad. A church that has Jesus' name in it and then she won't display Jesus. I would have been pissed. Just another reason why you are not interested in their crazy cult. It sounds like you do enjoy life without DH. So with careful planning, you can make a good life for you and the youngest ones. You need to keep yourself sane. Family who dismiss you as unimportant are really not family. It could change but they love their church more than you. So make it easy.....keep your distance and have a good life with your young ones. Never allow anyone to treat you poorly or with disrespect. And hold your head up high. If you let anyone speak rudely to you your young ones will see it and think it is okay....or so they begin to learn. Don't allow it. Some men don't deserve a woman like you who only wants to be treated fairly....and have your religious views tolerated. I would be so done with him.

There was a time when most mormons considered it unseemly to have pictures of Jesus or manger scenes at Christmas. I think they related these things to Catholocism which is probably why they don't have crosses.

A few years ago, my mother put a statue of Jesus in her living room and a picture of him in her kitchen. So attitudes have changed.

Perhaps your MIL was stuck in older mormon thinking on this topic. You gave her a lovely thoughtful gift and if she didn't appreciate, it's her loss.

Sending well wishes your way! I hope you can find the strength inside yourself to be strong and move out on your own. My mom gave me a huge picture of Jesus(she asked if it would be ok before she did it) and I hung it up in my living room. It is beautiful, even for a white Mormon Jesus. ;) I appreciated her thinking of me and gave it a place on my wall. Keep us updated!