The Rs pres works in a very open public place. I see her almost every time I go there. I have decided to confront her about the underhanded VT's visit this last Saturday. I'll let you know how it went. I think it will be interesting.

I don't think showing up at the store and calmly asking her "what's up with you sending the VTs over after I asked you not to?" is going to get anyone fired. It only requires the TBM to say, "Sorry, I will make sure it won't happen again." and the whole problem goes away. However it does get the point across that you are serious, and won't take it lying down.

Nice! Let us know how it goes.

She is the type that gets embarrassed easily. I also plan to lay a load of gilt on her.

When people do the sort of thing she did, I consider them fair game.

The Irony....She works in the Meat dept.lol Maybe I will deliver some meat today. No milk

She gets embarrassed easily? Oh, well! (giggle, giggle.)

Oh? NO. Don't bother people at work. We don't want that done to us, so don't do that to others. They are there to work, not to handle other issues.

It's best to call her, or make an appt to see her personally.

Understand that as long as you are on their rolls, you will be contacted. It's their policy and you don't have the power to change it.
You can deny the visit, of course.

SusieQ "Understand that as long as you are on their rolls, you will be contacted."

She made contact and was told NO!, she fulfilled her responsibily to make contact, then proceeded to go right ahead and sent VT‘s out anyway. There are no excuses to be made for her, she just needs to be taught a VT lesson too. Maybe just not the one she wanted or expected.

I believe MIA is on the right track, public confrontation and the ensuing embarrassment may be the right consequence of her behavior.

The next time some one declines an offer and says NO, maybe that dumb ass will think twice about just going ahead and doing as she pleases.

It's only civil to respect the work environment. Keep other business away as it's inappropriate.
As a supervisor, I'd tell the person to take care of their personal concerns on their own time.

The rule of the playground is to find out and apply consequences on whichever bully started and perpetuated the problem.

Answer? Not Mia.

The OP's time and home were not respected either, to turnabout is fair play.

I think this is a good approach.
Bother me with VT's and I'll bother you at work - excellent

There was a recent poster that said he got a visit at work and everyone agreed, workplace is not the place to bother someone about religious matters. I do agree that the OP needs to go and confront the RS pres, but not at work. Call her or surprise visit her at home (just show up like they do - hopefully at dinner time?).
Even with your name on their rolls, you can request to be a do not contact and they must honour it.

place visit.

If it's wrong for you to bug me at work, I'd think it's wrong for me to bug you at work.

Bully for you tho, confronting her.

But the standard answer is "I didn't send them, they just must have been inspired."

Pish Posh. Mia, you go ahead and nail her in the Meat Department. She invaded YOUR privacy, now it's her turn for HERS.

..but I wouldn't bother anybody at work. I'm not judging and I'm not telling you what to do, but someone visiting your home vs. someone visiting your work are two completely different things.

Why risk getting someone fired?

Mia leads a productive happy life without bothering a soul on earth, just taking care of business and asking nothing except to be left alone.

What happens? After being told to please not send VTers, a RS busybody sends these intruders to Mia's private property.

Who is the aggressor?

It's the RSP who demonstrates her lack of respect for Mia, for her home, her time, her boundaries, and her freedom to be left alone.

Mia often sees this woman at work in a normal day. Contacting her on the job is Mia's right. Mia is the one who is aggrieved. She could call the RSP at home but this would make less impact and it's a course she's already tried to no avail because when she told the TBM her wishes that is where the woman was, in the privacy of her mormon home. Why tell her agian at home when it did not work? The RS needs the impact of witnesses to drive the point home.

TBM stalkers who go to the workplace do it because they've been told to stay away and they don't want to comply. As usual it's the TBMs who are the aggressors. If they don't want a scene, all they have to do is respect the rights of their victims. Going to the workplace is a last ditch effort to aggressively meddle with someone who is doing no harm and only wants to be left alone.

I think we need to place blame where it's due. TBMs want to be the aggressors and dish it out but they can't take it.

I hear much well justified complaint on RFM about how Mormons don't respect boundaries.

There's a word for believing that the rules should apply to them, but not to us.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
+1 And if it gets ugly, and the aggressor is not the employee the aggressor could be arrested.

I've worked in an environment where anything that is not business related and is a perceived threat is grounds to call the police.
Period. It has been done.

This is an interesting topic... I can see both sides. On the one hand, if I remember correctly, the RS Pres. opened herself up to this by bringing up church topics while on the clock herself, when Mia told her to stop contacting her... So, is it OK, when they see each other again, in a similar situation to say, something to the affect of "Hey, By the way, when we last met, I said, 'NO CONTACT'... Yet, someone showed up, what's up with that?"...

But, then there's the other side, it's her work environment, is it really a good place to have any type of confrontation?

I find my self thinking that it might be better to show up at her house at awkward times and letting her know that "no contact" means "no contact". But that involves going out of your way...

If however, you are shopping (I'm assuming the RS Pres. works at a meat counter) and she initiate conversation, especially anything to do with the church, I think it would be OK to re-iterate the no-contact statement and point out that you are aware that they ignored you the first time.

Just my two cents...

The RS president probably has it coming but if you confront her at work and embarrass her, you will look like the bad guy. Do you really want to do that?Call or go to her home at an inconvenient time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2011 04:41PM by bona dea.

OK well then put up a ten foot sign on her front lawn telling her to keep her GD mormon church to herself and respect other people's beliefs.

Make sure you do this at 8:05 AM so it can remain up all day for the neighborhood to see.

She can then have the experience of coming home and having her home boundaries violated.

I would not do it Mia. But I'm a real quiet person and avoid confortations, thats just me. I love everybody and try to be sensitive to their feelings no matter what religion they are. If you do it, try to be really quiet so she won't get embarassed, Good luck!!!!!

As my meager understanding of Washington State (mia = ?) is, it is considered Trespassing to be in any (private) place where you're not invited... even semi-public places can invoke the 'other than business purpose' thing; If an owner/manager asks you to leave a place of private property, you MUST do so IMMEDIATELY.

IOW, i believe that Washington law includes by inference / interpretation a 'other than accepted reason' provision.

Our criminal code:
RCW 9A.52.070
Criminal trespass in the first degree.

(1) A person is guilty of criminal trespass in the first degree if he or she knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in a building.

(2) Criminal trespass in the first degree is a gross misdemeanor.


-----

the 'trick' is application of the term 'unlawfully'



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2011 05:19PM by guynoirprivateeye.

While she's there, she plans to mention that the VTers came by and she is disappointed that her request was not honored. Simple as that. Mia isn't going to cause a brawl or have a raging fit, far from it.

dragging her personal business into the work place.

My cousin was fired from a job b/c while going through a marital separation, his wife called the work place several times a day. They couldn't disciple her but they could get rid of the problem employee.

And I don't like people who act like they're taking the high road by not confronting the RS Pres at work but sucker punch the victim for dealing with the situation in an effective manner.

Making one comment to a vendor in a public place does NOT get them fired.

You're stretching this beyond recognition.

I'll bet you apolgogized for the MANY mormon fanatics who phoned bosses and berated receptionists to gain entry to some poor exmo's office doing everything possible to get the exmo fired.

I have no respect for your antics.

Why not go to her house early in the morning, or late at might or when she is putting her kids to bed or on Thanksgiving if you want to get your point across?

When they show up, tell them (1) you don't want them here, (2) they should lose your name, address, and phone number, and (3) if they ever show up again you will be extremely direct and nasty with them, including XXX rated words.

If they show up a second time, tell them to go [expletive] themselves.

Mia should go and do as planned.

After giving the RS prez a taste of her own medicine, she will probably never have to deal with that problem again.

Sometimes a little confrontation goes a long way.

+1