Careful with the "old man" thing. Some of us work hard at bathing, hair trimming, muscle toning, etc. Good brands of soap help also. My teeth are white and in good shape, my feet gets lots of attention. I give GREAT massages. You could do worse. I'm also a relative to the late J. Paul Getty (if you get my meaning).
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2011 12:33AM by george.
I don't like the smell of mormon churches in general. But the relief society room is the worst. Maybe it was because i always felt trapped in there. I always sat in the back by a window so I could open it a bit.
Stuffy and plain. Ah, also looked like a fashion show to me, the "Bishop" took me aside more than several times and said that I wasn't "allowed" to wear sweats & T shirts and/or jeans to "church" . We locked horns on that subject...Then I told him that I wasn't being judged on WHAT I was wearing, but what was on the inside. I then counter attacked him by saying if a certain man could wear a dress to church ( he was a guy neighbor of mine that thought he was a woman). came to church in a dress, then it would only be fair that I would dress like a guy! HA ha! That pissed him off big time, and I continued to dress as I pleased which meant I wasnt about to wear some dumb dress!
After working for the Church, where I was responsible for purchasing cleaning supplies and what-have-you, to me it always smelled like whatever supplies we'd been ordering. The closet where the cleaners were kept smelled so strong that I felt sick in there.
Now that the members are cleaning the chapels, I don't know what they smell like these days.
It's posted at SalamanderSociety.com in the Mormmy's section. It's to the tune of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell."
Baby slobber, and baby poo Worship the Mormon way There's sweaty clothes and Cheerios What’s that funky air beside you? Ooooh that smell Can’t you place that smell? Ooooh that smell The smell of church surrounds you
Nursing mother is upon you Messy baby in her arms (ya fool, you) Don’t take another whiff, it’s sure to make you sick One more breath, fool, will gag you (hell yeah) Ooooh that smell Just can’t shake that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of church surrounds you
Moldy carpet in the hallway Kid threw up in the Sunday school Hell, they’ll clean it up tomorrow But tomorrow there’ll be more baby poo (yeah, poo) Ooooh that smell Mormon chapel smell Ooooh that smell The smell of church surrounds you
A farting contest from the deacons There’s no window you can crack Just one more breath, Lord, might be your death One hell of a price for you to save your soul (hell yeah) Ooooh that smell Can't forget that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of church surrounds you Ooooh that smell Mormon chapel smell Ooooh that smell The smell of church surrounds you
The smell . . . it's recycled farts and recycled bad breath from since the chapel was built. Recycled farts are noxious gasses that were farted from members' buttholes during meetings, inhaled by other members, partially exhaled immediately as recycled bad breath, and additionally absorbed thru their lungs, and then eventually refarted back out into the chapel atmosphere to be rebreathed and refarted . . . ad infinitum.
I recall when I was a teenager, I inadvertently walked into the High Priests' classroom right after the door opened at the end of their priesthood meeting class. I nearly fell over when I got a whiff of the toxic fumes that had filled the room. It was like the smell of death - several lifetime accumulations of toxic lung waste and rectal gas from the clueless herd of deluded old farts who were lucky to not have all self-asphyxiated before the door opened to fresher air.
My exmo brother and I describe my experience as HPDG - High Priest Death Gas.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2011 12:52AM by beyondashadow.
*sour milk *soiled or urine-soaked diapers *stale cheerios ground up too finely to be vacuumed from the sides and backs of pews * Febreeze sprayed in a futile attempt to cover the other odors
The odor of sweat in the gym (cultural hall) adds to the ambiance.
My non-Mormon friends would call our neighborhood church "the basketball church, because of the basketball court, just as you walk in the door. Visitors would die laughing when they walked in.