Another thread got me wondering how often bishops must hear reports from one member about another member's sinful activities.

I don't think I ever once went to any kind of authority with knowledge about another member, but I sure remember expecting folks to tell on me if they spotted me with a cup of coffee, shopping on Sunday, exiting an inappropriate movie, buying beer, etc.

I must confess, however, that I did spread information about certain people a time or two. I happily reported to many folks that I knew this bishop or that sp engaged in certain behaviors. I think I liked reminding certain folks that we're all just human.

Did any of y'all ever report anyone?

When I was 15 the bishop told me to keep an eye on a girl who was my age that obviously didn't believe. Even though I was still TBM I thought it was sick he would ask me to do that and never told him anything.

Once my laurels class president told the bishop as well as the YM/YW leaders and class presidencies in a meeting that I drank alcohol. In my next bishop interview he asked if I followed the word of wisdom and I said yes (lie). He said "are you sure?" I said yes again, and then he sat there and stared at me for a good 10 seconds before going on to the next question.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2010 09:25PM by ashleyb.

I lied and said that I didn't know how to get hold of them again. The bishop would push, wanting to know who the girl was so that he could tell her bishop.

I never ratted a girl out.

Or you could lie and say the girls weren't members. :)

I've never ratted on anyone, because its none of my business what people do.

I also don't know if anyone has ratted on me, because I was inactive most of my life. Even when I came back for a year, I didn't really give a sh** what anyone thought, because I personally felt that the church was unreasonable anyway, lol.

I've always had a pretty smart mouth, even with authority figures, lol. So if a bishop ever called me in his office to scold me, I'm probably look him dead in the eyes, and say,

"Hey bishop, I've got an idea--- How about you mind your own business, and go get f***ed!"

That's exactly what my mother told her bishop (yes those exact words), when she walked out on the church. The bishop had called her in to tell her that because she had been molested as a child, she would have to be interviewed by the SP before she could be considered to go to a temple. As if being a victim makes you "unworthy"! Then he scolded her for not quitting smoking. So I don't blame her for telling him off, lol.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/16/2010 05:19AM by melissa3839.

I remember telling two girls that I would not lie to my bishop about what we had done. They knew it was coming. I couldn't avoid the bishop knowing about us, because it was pretty well-known who I was with - small town and all.

find some reason to tattle on me for something. Bizarre stuff.
One of the things I disliked the most was how so many Mormons, some leaders in particular, treated others like children. GAG!
I walked out of more than one such meeting of tattling!

I did. A HUGE one, but at the same time, it is probably good I did, but it didn't save the marriage that she had broken up.

A girl I worked with and lived with at one time was having an affair with a married man. He even went with her the day his wife was giving birth to their third child. He told his boss at work that he had to stay home for the birth and then went and spent the day with this girl.

Yep--I told the bishop. Nowadays, she gets up in her ward and brags about her wonderful husband who works so hard so she can be a SAHM. She is beyond self-righteous.

At one zone's conference on the mission, our AP (Elder Pompousbutt, I think it was) shared his shame and frustration when a member called to report that missionaries had been spotted renting some videos. This royal ding-dong of an AP was so distraught at the missionaries' disobedience he was nearly in tears, no joke.

This same AP had previously been my first zone leader. As such, he made a "training visit" to our apartment. That night, he sent me with another junior comp to go rent some James Bond movies.

If ever there was a time I wanted to rat someone out, it was then. Probably should have, but there was already a tension between us, and I was too cowardly to make things worse by reporting this to the Mission Pres. But like the OP, to humanize (... and humiliate) the almighty one in authority would be the only reason I would have considered "ratting" this guy out.

But a room mate told on me.......I stayed out all night with friends. Dorm rules had a 10:00 curfew.

And I remember my brother's girlfriend confessing her "sins" to her bishop and naming my brother.

I was only tattled on during the mish. Trainer ratted me out that I had the wrong type of bag. Another comp snitched cause I had the wrong type of jacket( it was conservative in color and no words on it, but not the trench-coat type). Another because I failed to speak enough spanish.

Oh, and possibly one other time at byu. Bishop summons me out of nowhere. I figure it was for a calling or something. I get there, and he asks me how I'm doing. I say fine. Then, literally the second thing outta his mouth is 'Do you look at porn?' (I wasn't, but I do now whenever the hell I feel like it). I answered truthfully, 'no'. And that was it. No calling. Either a room mate falsely reported me or he was trying to randomly get people to confess. Who knows? oh, and this bishop was an MD. WTF?

As a HT... yes, smoking and tea drinking members... It was standard procedure amongst HT's

I dont think I ever ratted on someone for a more *grievous* sin than those two

This is a heck of a topic..... apparently we all have an aversion to actually 'ratting' on someone.

but...consider.... this is a learned behaviour. In my own 'defence' I would say that it was standard procedure to mention "brother xxxx having a dirty ashtray and a strong odour of smoke".
that is how I learned the basics of HT - from other members who routinely reported this sort of activity

If you are brought up in an atmosphere of reporting someone's behaviour, and consider to be 'for their own eternal good', then it doesnt seem like it's a problem.

I had a good friend church friend in high school, Dave. We told eachother everything. We both hung around non-members in high school b/c there weren't any members in our schools, didn't go to many youth activities and skipped seminary when possible. Well one day, I told him I had drank alcohol the weekend before with my friend, that went to his school (we were seniors). I thought we were having an honest conversation and he was sincere enough...or so I thought.Next weekend rolls around and the bishop called the youth to his office for interviews as he did just about every month. Well, my friend spilled the beans, came out and acted like nothing happened. We went on the rest of afternoon chit chatting, until it was my turn to go in to the office. That's when the bishop told me he knew I had been drinking. He proceeded to say he couldn't tell me how he received that information, after I said I knew it was Dave that told him. I got guilt tripped and was repeatedly asked to rat Dave out, which I didn't. I promptly found my Dave and told him the meeting sucked. When he asked why, I said well cuz the bishop told me you told him about last weekend. He turned pale. I said, those meetings are never as confidential as you think... whatever, no hard feelings. He moved a few towns over a year or two after this incident. His family went to a different ward and not too long after, we had a falling out but I kept in touch with his mom, who's amazing and non- judgemental, for a TBM. She told me that he's pretty much a jack mormon and will go to church once in a while. She said he hasn't gone to the temple since high school b/c he hates the interviews with the bishop. Hmmm I wonder why.

Over my entire career of 22 years, nobody ever asked me, nor did I feel compelled to report.

Ron

Back in the day when I was in the University Ward a friend "ratted" me out. It eventually ended up turning into a "court of love" and I was excommunicated. Oh, well, no hard feelings, she actually did me a favor!

light4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Back in the day when I was in the University Ward
> a friend "ratted" me out. It eventually ended up
> turning into a "court of love" and I was
> excommunicated. Oh, well, no hard feelings, she
> actually did me a favor!


Dude! We want the scoop! What grave sin did you commit?

Just wonderin'...

Ron

Ok, I guess I'll tell. First off I'm not a dude, LOL. It was the horrible sin of drinking alcohol and yes, the dreaded premarital sex.

And if y'all are now going to reverse field and say that isn't "tattling", then you are left with the awkward situation of admitting that there are circumstances when reporting behavior to authorities is a good thing.

So, when is it good?
When is it bad?
When is it unclear what should be done?

And if it is often unclear, why all the self-righteous denouncements of it?

Discuss.

I think there's a profound difference between reporting a child molester to proper authorities (or anyone else who is engaging in serious harm to another) and telling lay clergy that you saw another member of the congregation drinking iced tea.

whenever I'd tell her stuff other people were doing. Apparently when she was in college the dorm rooms housed 3 to each room. Her two female roommates were obviously in a gay relationship. She went to her old bishop who wasn't over them to ask what to do without giving any names. He told her to report it. She called her mom up who basically told her to figure it out herself. She decided it was none of her business and let it go.

Tell ANY family stuff to the leadership...and he was in the leadership.

If he heard about family stuff getting back to him he would blow a gasket.

Good advice I think.

My DW THINKS you should tell the leadership stuff because 'they are there to help' Maybe some are, some probably crave hearing family dramas though.