I haven't prayed since I resigned in August. Well, actually, a little prayer. A Christian friend offered to say one with me...but I felt nothing. Prayer had never really made sense to me. It was intimidating more than anything, and I always just brushed it aside. But when a religious friend asks for me to keep them and their families in my prayers during their great times of need or perils, I more or less just think out positivity to...the universe. Or something. Just warm it up in my heart with sincerity and then lay it out to any higher being that saw fit to 'hear' it.

I'm not sure if I actually believe in God, or any gods. However, I do like to think that beyond this life I'll be reunited with loved ones who have since passed away. That it's not just an abrupt end to any kind of existence. I'm just very torn between the concept of there being any kind of god at all. Mormonism taught me to fear their god. That never settled well with me.

I guess I'm still getting adjusted to no church life, to be able to truly act and speak out on my own. But what does that make me 'title' wise? I know it just really doesn't matter in the end. But people here have a neat tendency to show others that there is not only two sides to a coin, but a tiny 'ledge' that runs between them.

I would like to hear any thoughts, stories, whatever!

Best not to put any labels on yourself until you can answer your own "What am I now?" question.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2011 03:36PM by wine country girl.

Today we are in transition from what we were yesterday to what we will be tomorrow.

You are trying to define your new found freedom and have not yet settled on a new identiy.

Take some time and explore ideas that intereset you. I personally find prayer to be a load of rubbish and a waste of time.

Thank you! I will!

I think the 'relief' feeling I got out of prayer when I actually did it was more of a" Phew, now if someone asks if I prayed last night I can say yes honestly!"

You just believe whatever you believe -- and you don't need to nail that down all at once, or ever.

Mormonism taught us to cram things into neat little pigeonholes so we wouldn't need to think about them again. You're one of us or you're part of some other set we can ignore or hate. But life isn't like that. Our beliefs aren't like that.

Mormonism taught us that we should already know exactly what we will do in any moral/ethical situation. That, too, is baloney. It just makes people rigid and cuts them off from actually needing to assess each situation and figuring out the fairest, most compassionate response.

So relax, go day by day, and sometime in the future you'll realize you have it figured out -- for you.

You are a wondering, questioning human being, and that's a good thing!

It's okay to NOT be a [fill in the blank.] It's okay not to know for sure. It's okay to have more questions than you do answers. It's okay to add to, subtract from, and/or modify your opinions of how things work. It's okay to change your mind, and then perhaps change it back again.

I just tell everyone I'm Episcopalian because that is what I was when I was a little girl - before the Mormons got hold of us. But my kids say they are "Christian - unaffiliated". If you aren't sure you believe in God or not, that' what agnostic is for. Non-religious is a term that works too. I have a friend who went to some Christian college in the south and no longer believes in whatever religion she was so her FB info says "I believe in God but not any of his fan clubs".

I agree with what everyone said about it being OK to just be a questioning human being but sometimes it's nice to have a way to define that for yourself. Just until you are sure of what is in your own mind.

When I lost my Mormon testimony I sifted through a lot of stuff. It took time. I tried to continue believing in a higher power and it worked for a while. The problem was I could never define what the power might be.

The same thing happened with the afterlife. I was loath to give up eternal life but I eventually did. Now I'm completely comfortable with the idea that life ends at death. It's the idea of living eternally in the Mormon version of heaven that scares the hell out of me!

When you figure out what to call yourself let me know what it is. I may need to borrow it.

Stunted

You are a typical one of those "people who defy categorization."

Just depends on life experience for me. I don't worry about it. I was that way as a mormon, too, though--I never saw mormonism as others saw it. I really think that is pretty universal even if the members want you to believe otherwise.

I consider myself agnostic. I do hope for an afterlife, but I don't KNOW ANYTHING, so I just don't worry about it most of the time.

You are in individual. If people ask what you are, say, "I'm ME."

I know how you feel, though. When I found out Mormonism was a hoax, I decided to hang onto God and Christ, until I sorted out all the Joseph Smith, temple, and superstitious garbage. It was too big a shock to take everything all at once.

However, I did realize immediately that my version of God was very different than the MorGod. Basically, I believe in unconditional love.

While going through this major upheaval in my life, I decided to still live by my same life-long principles and morals. I follow the teachings of Christ, the 10 commandments, the Golden Rule, other Bible teachings, and of course the civil laws in America.

You can keep your identity by behaving like the same person you always were. You are just learning new truths and new beliefs, that's all.

This can be an adventure for you, if you explore other philosophies, cultures, religious beliefs, and open up your mind to other ideas.

Stop worrying about labels. People shouldn't label you, anyway.

Be patient, before jumping into another box. It takes time to recover from Mormonism.

Son't put too many expectations on yourself. Pray when you feel like it. God is there, whether Mormons say he is or not. Mormons have no control over God.

Congratulations on getting yourself out of a cult! That is a huge accomplishment. Relax and breathe for a while.

Don't force yourself to pray. Prayer is a spiritual gift that some people have and some not so much. I happen to be on the prayer team because I have the gift of prayer. The youth leader expressed concern to me because my young adult son didn't want to pray in front of a group. I thought, "so what." He has other gifts.

So your god gives *some* people the gift of being able to communicate with him and others he doesn't? And the parent of the year award goes to...

I guess it's a matter of degrees. Everyone can pray, but not everyone wants to/can pray in public, or pray one on one for specific healing. To some people it is very intimidating to lay hands on someone, discern their needs, and pray for them. I find it easy and uplifting.

If you don't believe what I believe, you'll never understand. I'm not trying to change anyone's belief. If you believe it is ok to criticize other people's beliefs, go for it.

Walking a labyrinth has been a very spiritual experience for me. Sometimes I talk to God and sometime I just think.

Did you consider what I said to be criticism?

If my neighbor had four kids, and only let one of them into his room to see him face-to-face; only allowed another one to talk to him on the phone; another to shout through the walls; and sent the last to boarding school; I would think that parent should have their children taken away.

I didn't make myself clear. I'm talking about intercessory prayer, not personal prayer. There is a difference of opinion whether prayer even is a spiritual gift, as it is not listed in 1 cor. 2. Nobody should be forced or expected to pray or pray a certain way. There are as many ways to pray as there are people who want to pray.

My son prays quite often as he goes to a Christian college. Whether he leads group prayers is not a big deal to me.

I don't even remember how this got started!

I also remember being interested in coming up with a title for my identity after my affinity for Mormonism up and died. Nothing seemed to fit me for a long time. I don't really like the exmormon title because isn't that just being defined by one thing that I am not? Same thing with non-religious, non-christian, non-theist. I guess I'm OK with being thought of as agnostic, but it's not something I worry about anymore.

Whether there is life after death is not a question I'm preoccupied with anymore. Instead the question of whether there is life BEFORE death has become the center of my attention naturally. The main answer to this question for me is that life is found in meaningful work (usually has little or coincidental connection to money) and love for those I have relationships with. So I am satisfied with being identified with what I am doing and who I love, from moment to moment.

I have recently been wondering how to regain some of the deep emotions I felt with prayer. I've been studying positive psychology and one interesting idea I've found is that the emotions of elevation, admiration, and awe are not restricted to religious traditions. All anyone has to do is put themselves in a place where they expect to experience them. Thinking I am talking to a god doesn't arouse awe in me anymore. Instead, cheering up someone who is sad, learning from a wise teacher, or using my strengths fill me with emotions that I first experienced through the Mormon community and worldview.

I'm not trying to rid theism from my life and identity, rather I am being what I am and not what others want me to be. I am my strengths.

I recommend completely dropping the search for a rigid identity. Knowing what you don't like isn't knowing very much at all, because you've only eliminated one thing out of countless things to experience. Be what you admire today, that's something you can decide right now. There's no need to plan out how you fit into some grand scheme, it's not something we can force into being by thinking. The best any of us can do is surround ourselves with what we admire. The rest is up to something bigger than our consciousness.

I've known that I am not Mormon for wow...almost three years this upcoming January. Hooray!! I still do not know what I believe. I have never had a spiritual experience to lead me anywhere in particular. I have spent a lot of time researching and as of now none of the religions out there look the least bit appealing.

Right now in my mind, I believe in God and I believe that our missions are to help people and conquer self. I like to believe in the idea of past lifetimes and more to come cause I think it gives me a reason to press on and be productive. I am going to remain open-minded to new ideas always.

I also have a very hard time praying. I think mainly because Mormons would ask that of me when I didn't feel comfortable and I am shy by nature. I would be so mad when someone would ask me to bear my testimony too.

Raptor Jesus.

For he won't ever give up on you.

Unless you're a jerk. Then I'll give up on you pretty quickly.

Hey, I'm not here to impress anyone.

What you are - is YOURSELF.

I know it's difficult to get rid of the notion that you need to have a label/title - when you've been raised with that need for identity, it's a scary thing to be in the unknown.

If you feel the need to attach to a title, take your first name, and add one of the following suffixes: -ian/-ish/-ese

And then take pride in it - because you're one of a kind!

can change your mind!
You're OK just the way you are.