Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
)
Date: December 08, 2011 01:11PM
Now that you see what is going on, why not just stick to your guns as you said and not allow anyone to try to take your power away.
This is your life. You are free to change your mind and believe or not believe anything you choose.
They play the: "we love you" card like they really mean it, but they don't love you the way you want to be loved and accepted because you have basically told them you don't buy what they are selling.
My advice: STOP talking to the LDS folks. They are not counselors, they are not informed about the real history of the LDS Church and all they want is for you to remain a member -- remember the bottom line is always money. They want your tithing!
No Money - Tithing, no Church!
Now is the time to lay low and just be quiet about your beliefs or lack of them. Take it very slow with your family. Do your own research, come to your own conclusions, and never, ever give the LDS Church any private info. You were very wise not to sign those forms for counseling!!
Remember that this is your marriage, your family it is none of the LDS church's business how you work that out.
Unfortunately, the members's perspective is betrayal and rejection if you leave the LDS Church.
I was a convert then married in the temple and lived the religion for over three plus decades.
These are my observations.
Mormonism, in my long experience and observation is more accurately described as a patriarchal, generational, cultural, religious tribe. In fact the word: tribe is used in their lexicon. As a convert, I was considered an adopted member of the tribe. Considering how tribes manifest, it is, in my view, the best way to understand how Mormonism creates a whole paradigm for the individual in a familial, societal, religious context aka tribe.
It started out as a small tribe in New York, then moved to other states, and eventually, cemented as a tribe in isolation in Utah by Brigham Young. They even use that term from time to time.
As a convert, I was told it was my adopted tribe.
Your whole identity is as a member of the religious tribe.
Leaving it is, in essence, leaving your tribe.
That, in my experience and observation, accounts for how difficult it is to leave it completely.
Not accepting the beliefs is not all there is to it. It is only the first step.
It requires learning to identify the authentic: YOU, and creating a whole new World View from scratch.
It includes rewriting every single automatic thinking script from childhood if BIC, or as a convert, from years of subtle teachings.
Leaving Mormonism requires courage, tenacity, perseverance, steadfastness and a willingness to give ourselves permission to take our power back.
That is why I call it an Exit Process from Mormonism. It's a process that for some, can take years.
Yes. As a member of the LDS Church, the members whole identity is wrapped up in the cloak of the tribe.
That is why I often use this quote:
"The individual has always had to struggle to resist the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
Best wishes to you. Keep your self confidence, and self respect cooking on high and don't let anyone sabotage your right to how you want to live your life!