Posted by:
thedrive
(
)
Date: December 12, 2011 11:12AM
Brothers and sisters, I need to bear you my testimony today. The last time I did this was when I returned from my mission and gave my homecoming talk 20+ years ago. I want you to know that I had a very spiritual experience yesterday in the presence of my dear family. The experience was so powerful, so special, that I have debated all morning whether to share it with you but after contemplation and deep thought I will share it with you.
Brothers and sisters, this is my testimony: I know that Tim Tebow is my personal Lord and Savior. I know it with every fiber of my being. My testimony cannot be stronger. It is true because I feel it in my heart. And we know that all feelings are true.
At first I wasn't sure if I even had a testimony of Tim Tebow but as the weeks have gone by he has touched my heart and wallet with the winnings of the wagers between my friends and I. These winnings have allowed me to enjoy many blessings such as a shrimp coctail ring purchased from the Safeway deli that we enjoyed during our 3 1/2 hour worship service yesterday. We were also able to enjoy drink of the vine from Sonoma, refreshment from our brothers and sisters in Russia, vegatables from our friends in Mexico and Honduras, fine cheese from the farmers in Wisconsin, and of course strong drink brewed from our neighbors in the town of Golden, just a few miles away. My Savior, Tim Tebow, enabled my family to enjoy all these blessings and more.
The greatest blessing from Tim Tebow, and I appologize to my wife if this causes her some minor embarassment, but Tim Tebow has helped our intimacy. Let me explain. My wife, she seems to enjoy church services every Sunday from 2:05 PM Mountain Time until the final whistle, err, final Hail Mary is whispered. And during church she partakes of the blessings mentioned above. Following the final play, err, Hail Mary she is awash in emotions, love, and admiration for our Savior Tim Tebow that she has to retire to our bedroom to recover from her intense spiritual experience. Of course, as her loving and caring husband, I am concerned for her well being so I must check on her. I tell the children to study their schoolwork or play the X-Box and that they can turn up the volume as high as they want in order to experience the game as the inspired designers had intended. I always close the door as I enter our bedroom so the noise from HALO or Gears of War, games intended for entertainment only, do not disturb her post-church feelings.
Out of respect for my wife I will not relate what happens in the following 3-5 minutes but sufficed to say my wife, rather than cry out, "Oh God" now cries out "Ride me Saint Timothy, ride me!" As you can see she has had a change of heart and has an even stronger testimony of our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow. And I thank her for her loyalty and love for Tim.
In closing, I wish to emphasize my admiration and appreciation for our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow. Brothers and sisters, may I suggest that you strive to gain your own testimony of our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow. I promise you that if you embrace Tim Tebow in your hearts you too can experience the powerful blessings in your family and lives as you come to know Tim as my wife and I do.
I leave you with this testimony of our Lord and Savior, namely Timothy Richard Tebow. Amen.