I'm still friends on facebook with many of the TBMs I went to college with...
I've noticed that they never post about thier husbands, they post 5-10 times a day about kids, excerise, food, TBM tripe, but unless you knew these women you'd think they had no husbands.

I've noticed the trend for some time, but it really stood out when this morning a friend said something to the effect of "son is cuddling, breakfast was fresh pancakes. I can't think of a more perfect morning." My immediate response was 'What if your husband was there too?'

Has anyone else noticed this?

Young TBM mothers went to college and went to work. They still pop out babies but they are raised by grandma or daycare. They like to shop and buy things on credit. They go to church, pay tithing, do the temple hocus pocus but they still are highly influenced by the media propagated trends that our bringing our society as a whole to the dung heap.

Ezra Taft Benson and Spencer W. Kimball are rolling in their graves. Also the priesthood holder with any influence in the nation seem to be fascist. So much for the Mormon priesthood saving the nation like they told us would happen in the 70's and 80's.

Other than wearing funny underwear, doing weird temple shit, paying a lot of money to a cult, and maybe having more kids than the national average. Mormons aren't any different than the rest of the useless eaters that call themselves Americans. The main difference is Mormons are more depressed and take more Prozac.

Rubicon Wrote, in part:
-------------------------------------------------------
>...the rest of the
> useless eaters that call themselves Americans.
==================================================
YOWCH!

Little harsh, don'tcha think?

of the far-right Randian Anarcho-capitalists.

Unless, of course, Rubicon meant that ironically...

The husbands aren't there. They are too busy working to pay for all their kids and tithing, and giving the rest of their free time in callings to the church. The women just get used to being single parents of a sort.

Every once in a while I will see a fb post of "Oh my husband did the dishes, he's the best guy ever!" but not too often. Most posts are indeed about the kids or the fun time they had with other moms and their kids.

I find Utah lds culture creates bizarre relationship dynamics. Neither men nor women are truly allowed to "grow up", and because of motherhood I often see couples where the wife has to mother both the children and her husband, yet the wife still has to defer to the husband's decisions in most things. . .

It seems like so many of my Mormon women "friends" are fed up with their husbands - like they are the mom in the relationship. They have to be the responsible ones. These women seem to create a "perfect" Mormon family with themselves and their kids and their home and their image. They sideline their husbands as almost an afterthought. I think it's because of what you said, that neither partner is able to grow up. The women get fed up with their husband acting like a teenage boy, having to mother him, having to push him to accomplish anything instead of being equal partners. The husbands get equally fed up with being pushed, being treated like a child rather than respected like a man. They find themselves stuck with a woman emotionally caught in Junior High, using middle school tactics to solve life's problems. Also, it's compounded with the expectation that the being the priesthood holder makes them entitled to credit for being better than they are. Both parties feel like "I did everything right - married in the temple, live the gospel etc. and THIS is what I get?" Because they never grew up and never found out who they really were and what they really wanted in a partner. How could they not be disappointed?

But sidelining your spouse - enduring them to the end - yeah, you see this a lot and it makes me sad for both parties. They can't seem to resolve the problem and build something real for themselves. They probably make it worse by using Morg magical thinking as a solution too. Sigh.

I agree!

It's just sad to see people I know and care about have "everything they want", and yet be so unhappy and unwilling to figure out what to change up in their lives.

I've stated before that women and men are both damaged by mormonism. We often think that women are the victims in mormonism, but men are, too.

Also--these men are never there, but they also have to put up with many wives who feel that sex is nasty and only for procreation.

Many of the women are also not happy that their husband isn't bishop or SP or something. I never could understand that attitude. Every time my husband got called to a calling, I'd be angry. It meant less help at home. And I actually liked him, too (most of the time). I mean--we live together part of the time now and we haven't been "spouses" for 16 years.

Well said

Molly's right on the money. I live in an area a lot of BYU grads end up coming after they graduate and it never ceases to amaze me how immature they are. I remember I had a scout master when I was 12 and he literally tackled one of the deacons in my group when we were playing capture the flag. He was one of those guys (you know the type) who probably was kind of socially awkward and not really talented in sports that never got the chance to shine in high school and college so they take that out on their charges to prove some sort of false superiority. UGH.

Back on TBM, my sis just recently got married and is literally BEGGING her husband for kids. I can only cite a few times they have actually got along and it just makes me scratch my head. The Mormon religion is a labyrinth when it comes to maturation and relationships.

Gee, how did I raise kids in the 60's to 80's without the Internet, Facebook, a microwave, a cell phone, didn't have a TV for most of husband's college time, or a land line for years, and only one vehicle?

I wonder what I would be posting in those days on FB if it was available: my husband would be out of town most of the week,or longer at a time,(so I wouldn't say much about him as he was not available for contact while at work, unless it was an emergency) about how he rode his bike to work and the bike was stolen a few times but got it back, how I made all of my meals, desserts, etc, from scratch (ground my own wheat) etc. I'd probably share recipes on using our large supplies of 25 to 50 lbs of: noodles, powdered milk, honey, oatmeal, wheat, rice, etc.

It was common for the Relief Societies in the Wards to publish a cookbook, so that would be a subject of topic. I have used recipes from them for many years.


How times have changed!

Where food is concerned, i think the changes are wonderful.

food I don't miss:
Anything made with home ground wheat.
Hamburger several times a week.
Food storage potatoes.
Canned peaches.
Canned green beans.
Beef and potatoes fixed every way.
iceberg lettuce.
Jello
vegetables that are boiled to mush.
hot dogs
bland unidentifiable casseroles

Well my TBM sister in law drives me nuts with all the PDA about here husband on facebook... They are always writing on each other's wall how much they love each other and stuff. It's cute to a point, but they are over the top.

Of course when my wife compliments me occasionally Facebook I don't mind at all...