Thanks to all of you for your kind words of support. I just sent my son a text message telling him that I will be in attendance when he gives his talk in church before his mission. I am really nervous, but after thinking about it all night (I work graveyards at my 2nd job), I made the decision that since he asked me to go, I really should swallow my pride and attend for him. Just yesterday morning, there was no way in hell I was going to go, but 24 hours later, I have changed my mind completely. Anyway, thanks to each one of you. I'll let you know how it goes.

Sounds like you made a good choice.

Good for you! I read your previous post and I thought it was sad that others control our lives and important decisions. I am very happy with your decision, you will build a bond with your son that will be stronger than any thing or anyone can break. You are showing him that your relationship with him is more important than your concern about what others think. I hope all works out well for you.

I have attended when my son gave a talk or when my DIL sang in their church. There is no other reason to attend, imo, except for loved ones who still believe and participate.

I'm certain you will be fine. And you know you will have everyone here behind you supporting you.

call me tonight.

…tells you that you are still important to him. :-) That’s wonderful, Wendell!

You are a pioneer in your ward, the first member out of the closet. Along with members’ fear is uncertainty. Many will be looking to YOU to get a clue of what to expect.

So you might consider what mindset you want to take to the event. If you decide that you are going to ENJOY being there to support the son you love (in spite of disagreeing with his choice to serve a mission), no matter what; and if you decide are going to contribute to your son’s having a wonderful day, no matter what; you might be surprised at the result!

I honor you for your courage in attending this event. I'm also happy and excited for you, because I think it is likely that in both the short-term and long-term, you'll be glad you made this choice.

Best wishes, Wendell. Let us know how it goes!

For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision, and I applaud your courage. Good luck.

important to him than anyone else who attends.

Show your extended family that you aren't going away, no matter how uncomfortable it makes them.

Good for you. You will be glad you went. The cult needs to know that gays do not bite. Show them that you are in charge of your own life.

make a statement that you support your son, and the behavior of others does not determine your decisions and actions. You are your own man. Might even soften some of the family members that are harboring negative, angry feelings. Who knows! :-)

I hadn't been to church in a couple of years by that time. The bishop was a friend. He asked me how I felt about giving "remarks from the mother" at the end of the farewell. I told him I would.

I told the congregation I wasn't going to give a talk but that I was going to tell them about my son...which I did, with some anecdotes from his life that showed what an amazing person he was.

It was ok.

Wendell, you are doing the right thing. My ex is gay. I know how hard this all is. You are there for your son and that is the most important thing...nothing else.

I don't know if this is a positive comment but I'll say it anyway. I remember while being TBM that the Mormon catch phrase was "Hate the sin. Love the sinner." By this it was meant that we not approve of homosexuality but welcome everyone, no matter what they have done or are doing, to come to sacrament meeting and other meetings. That when they are at church meetings they should feel the spirit and the force of our love.

Now I'm really interested in how you are treated at your son's farewell because during my TBM days I would have taken that to heart and treated you just fine even though, at that time, I thought homosexuality was a sin. I know this is not about you but rather your son so I don't want to encourage you to look for slights. I hope it turns out to be a very great event that unites your family. But if it isn't, you have the obvious hypocracy to reinforce your decision to leave Mormonism and ask your family about (the ones who are acting holier than thou). For instance, a question like "Doesn't Mormonism teach you to love the sinner and hate the sin? Then what was that crack about from Bishop Loud Mouth? Certainly seems he hates me as well as my perceived sin. Should this entice me to return to TSCC?"

Anyway, my real hope is that you see this farewell as a way to show your support for your son in whatever he does. He'll really appreciate it. And he'll appreciate it even more if he sees that you had to put up with a lot of garbage to be there.

Best wishes.

Good call.

Good for you! Sometimes it takes more courage than we think we have. I admire you very much. Good luck and I hope it is a wonderful day.