Don't have any specifics in mind... yet.

But I know that RfMers will have many brilliant ideas for this.

If you want laughs, make the parody blatant.

If you want startled TBMs to think, “I have been accepting THAT as ‘normal’?!?!” and rethink their participation in Mormonism, make the parody more subtle and outwardly respectful.

Like when Family Guy did Star Wars? You could have family guy characters playing temple characters and have them point out things like the compass & square on lucifer's apron and what-not...

... via stop-motion animation and my favorite action figure heroes:

http://youtu.be/zUwsgLFkcVo

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/28/2011 02:19PM by Timothy.

That is fucking brilliant!

I think you should keep the original dialogue and have Timothy's action figures (cool stuff, by the way) act out the parts.

Can you imagine the archangel saying "We will go down" while dropping to his knees?

Start the film out showing sun, moon, star symbols in a satanic setting. Slowly morphing onto the SLC temple facade.

Show the people that they talk about in the temple narrative. The ones that you can buy anything from. Show their currency. oops that doesn't belong. I thought A&E were here first!

I love it! I've also thought it would be great to have a MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) version. The film seems perfect for that sort of commentary and as in so many other Mormon-related issues, the jokes practically write themselves ;)

Adam and Eve= Ken and Barbie

Timothy and intellectualfeminist have made the suggestions that really strike a chord with me.

I do appreciate all the input, though.

Seriously!

Make a documentary that justifies (and encourages) "Swinger Clubs" based on the idea of the Mormon "Temple Club". The film would compare the two clubs, side-by-side, on the basis of “Freedom of Assembly” and “Freedom of Religion” rights.

Comparison points:

The simple truth is that the Mormon Temple Rites started out as an excuse for Mormon men to have secret sex with as many women as possible – and to do it with God’s full permission – in fact, to do it at God’s explicit demand! Some LDS offshoots, like the Warren Jeffs group, never changed from the original intention and practiced group sex regularly in their Texas temple! A bed/alter was available.

Hell, Jeffs even tape recorded everything!

The only legal violation (apparently) was that Jeffs included minors in his sex club (as did Joseph Smith). Other than that, adult consensual sex is legal. The rest could be justified on the grounds of religious freedom. A Temple Club can be (and actually has been) a Swingers Club. Who, in today’s society, can say otherwise?

Mormons say that God wants humans to perform temple rites,
Swingers say that god obviously designed humans to perform and enjoy sex rites.

Mormons have done naked washing and clothing changes in their rites.
Why shouldn’t Swingers do the same?

Mormons use new, fake, names.
Swingers could incorporate the same anonymity, if they pleased.

Mormons claim the right to be totally secretive about what goes on inside their temples.
Swingers can claim the same privilege in their designated “club houses”.

Mormons are highly selective regarding who may enter and participate in their rites.
Swingers are equally entitled to be just as selective in the selection of their members.

Mormons claim constitutional religious privileges and protections to worship as they please.
Swingers are just as free to call their activities “worship” as well.

**********

If you want to make a film that puts the LDS church in it’s place, produce a documentary that explains how swingers can form their own non-profit, common interest organization, using their own interpretation of God’s will, to form their sex clubs –

– ALL MODELED ON THE MORMON PRECEDENT !

(The documentary/training tool, if done well, would be a hit.)

Instead of Elohim, the bug guy in Kolob will be named Bromeliad.

In case you're wondering, that's a pineapple joke.

wasn't that already done, somewhat in "Plan 10 From Outer Space"?
If you haven't seen it, it is quite fun to watch and those in the know will recognize all the symbols, ditress signals etc in the movie.

It has to be a science fiction cartoon, I can see a South Park treatment like Matt and crew did with the story of Joseph Smith.

Battlestar Gallactica was supposedly following Mormonish storyline, so you could have Elohim and gang on a space station circling the earth. They are here from Kolob.

They go down...flashback to war in heaven.

Make it as campy as that one by John Carpenter, "Dark Star." OMG, imagine if Elohim and Jesus, Peter/James/John beam down in a transporter as the Away Team.

Stop me!

THanks

Anagrammy

I would have a young couple running for their lives from a pack of the undead. They lose the zombies when they get around a corner, through the back door of the temple, and somehow end up in the middle of the "session" just as it is starting. Some old lady scolds them for not getting their temple garb on and then gets them dressed.

At this point there is a well edited montage of the temple ceremony,accompanied by close ups of our two heroes with their jaws on the floor. It ends with our two gob smacked stars being yanked through the veil, at which point they give each other a WTF look and begin running again, yelling,"marrow in the what?!?!?

As they flee the celestial room, they run through the baptismal font where the mormons are now dead dunking the zombies.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/28/2011 08:34PM by blueorchid.

(being un-anatomically correct, as I recall) would be just right!

I like blueorchid's idea! Perhaps its starts w/ the couple's car breaking down in the middle of a rainstorm, ala Rocky Horror Picture show, and they have newspapers over their heads. Then the mayhem with the zombies starts in,

Yes, Rocky Horror. And they can sing "Touch-a,touch-a,touch-a touch me" during the washing and anointing.

OMG, I'm SO in!! Let's make one!!

...and the resurrected celestial bodies of everybody being 30 and zombied.

Love it!

I'm think a skit like Monty Python style.

Modern danites trying to kill a covenant breaker, but he's wearing the holy garmets of manti, which thwart their bullets and knives. So one of them cuts off his arm, which spurts blood all over the danites and scares them off. "Come back. It's just a flesh wound. I'll bite you in the mark above your kneecaps!"

... get a script together and I'll take care of the rest.

I never did the temple s**t (other than get sealed to my parents) so I don't know enough about it.

What I do know is how to take a script and make a movie out of it.

Its what I do (amongst other things).

Timothy

But might I suggest we enhance the "War in Heaven" B.S. to include several "Wilie Coyote" type trial and error planning sessions to come up with a way to hurt/kill/destroy or in otherwise "war" with beings that have no bodies, and are indestructable. A whole lot of "..well that didn't work,..let's try the terrestial catapult lobbing seer stones at them..." kind of stuff. Then finally after 30 min of trying and failing they just ask them "pretty please" and they are immediatly bannished.

Tim, have you got my e-mail address?

You can access mine from here. Just shoot me an email and away we go!

Timothy

Start with an opening scene of Elohim in a corporate suite on the top floor. Jesus, VP in charge of creation, comes in and gets his instructions. He then passes them on to construction worker Michael (who is played by the same guy as Elohim, since we all know Michael is Adam, who Briggy said is God).

We then get a creation scene, where at one point Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz says "Lions, Tigers, Bears and Horses, oh my!"

We cut to some censored nudity of young and sexy Adam and Eve. Perhaps eve is carrying a lamb to cover her top, and a censor banner to cover her bottom. Satan comes in and holds up an apple to cover Adam's parts. Adam denies. Eve, however, falls in love with Satan and takes the fruit. Eve then explains to Adam why he needs to take some as well, but Adam says "I don't understand your logic, my eyes are not yet opened." Eve says "just take it, moron" and he does.

They then take fig leaves to cover their parts, though Eve's top still needs to be censored. God appears and they pass blame around, until God punishes Satan. Satan says "but you told me to give them the fruit, and said your plan wouldn't work if they didn't." God says "I have to punish you to make myself look good," and Satan says "isn't it Jebus's job to be the whipping-boy?"

God then gives them garments that look just like the 1840's ones, to the ankle and wrist, with bright red masonic symbols. Eve says "I looked sexier with the fig leaf" and God says "you can still wear it, but it has to be on the outside."

So Adam and Eve walk out of the Garden clad in garmies and fig leaves.

We cut to Elohim in the corporate suite, who instructs Jesus that corporate security is becoming a problem, so he should give Adam some handshakes to help him identify who is legit. Jesus gives the instructions to Peter, James and John. On the side James whispers to John "why are we here again?"

Peter, James and John go down to Adam (who tells Eve "stand back, this is men's business") and give him the handshakes. Adam says "how do I know you are true messengers?" They say "because of the tokens we just gave you." Adam says "isn't that circular reasoning, to assume that your signs are correct in order to prove that your signs are correct?" Peter says, "just take the signs, moron." Adam assents, and Peter says "oh, by the way, if you tell anyone about this handshake, we'll slit your throat from ear to ear."

We cut to Elohim again, who says "Satan is still getting through. We need more handshakes to buckle down our security." So they send another round of handshakes. Adam says, "but why? I haven't told anyone." Peter says, "that's what we said, but God isn't sure if he should believe you, so this time he says he'll tear your tongue out by the roots if you tell anyone."

But Satan is still getting through. Elohim gets angry "that's it! switch the shoulder that Adam wears his toga over. That ought to confuse Satan enough. And if you see any sign of Adam selling his handshakes to Satan for money, you have my permission to cut open his stomach and let his entrails spill all over the ground." Jesus says "but Elohim, money doesn't exist yet down there." Elohim says "that's what you think. Are we or are we not a business?"

So Peter delivers the message with the warning, and Adam gets nervous. He builds an alter and says "Pay Lay Ale! Pay Lay Ale! Pay Lay Ale!" Eve says "what the hell does that mean?"

At this moment God comes swooping down in a blaze of fire, his face red with fury! He thunderously yells at Adam "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Adam says, "I know not, save that you commanded me." Elohim: "WHEN DID I EVER TELL YOU TO REVEAL THE SIGN OF THE FOURTH TOKEN OF THE MELCHIZEDEK PRIESTHOOD OUT LOUD?" Adam: "I don't know, I didn't realize you had made a fourth one yet." Elohim: "NOW SATAN KNOWS THE WHOLE PLAN. BUT AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE ONE ACE UP OUR SLEEVES - THE NAME OF THE LAST TOKEN, BUT JUST TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL, I WON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD UNTIL YOU MAKE A VEIL AND STICK YOUR HANDS THROUGH IT."

So Adam makes a veil out of animal skins. "What's that?" "second token of the melchizedek priesthood, the patriarchal grip or sure sign of the nail. It is a symbol of when Jesus was crucified." Adam pulls his hand back. "Who?" "Just take my hand, moron."

Elohim then gives him the name through the veil. Adam says "what kind of secret word is that? You gave it away right there in the scriptures, Proverbs 3:8." Elohim says "there are no scriptures yet, moron. Now be a good boy and maybe I'll let you have your second endowment some day."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2011 12:49PM by kimball.