I took a break from the board for a few days. Found this thread closed, so Here's my story:

In college, me, a senior. The girl i'm dating is 19, her first year away from home. She's living w/ her older sister, also a student.
I go out w/ younger sister. Second or third time, she spends the night at my place. Nothing happened really, a little levi lovin' at the most. I get a call from the elder's quorum president the next morning, and he wants to know if younger sis is with me. Apparently, older sister was worried that younger sister didn't come home. So what does she do? Calls the elder quorum pres and gets him involved. Yes, I was pretty angry. Livid, actually.

If that was at YBU... I'm a-bettin' you were OUTTA THERE!
(wanna tell?)

Shame on big sis & the EQP.
College students... away from home... D-oh!

either ChurchCo want to Extend members childhood or Deny it, I'm not sure which.

Some one told my old bishop that i should be disfellowshipped because i was seen coming out of a grocery store on sunday with a couple pill bottles after skipping church to take care of my sick kid and get his meds. I endes up leaving the church anyway.

Once, I was supposed to deliver pineapples to all of the apostate houses, but I kept them for myself, because I couldn't remember the silly dance that went with them. Someone told when they noticed none of the apostates showed up to Church the following Sunday.

Someone reported me to the bishop for not wearing my Jesus jumpers. All I did was mow the lawn in my swimming trunks. Hell, it was hot. I got summoned to the bishop's office and was called to repentance.

Just helped me to get the hell out of Dodge. Thanks to whoever snitched. May the good lode bless you.

When you have a nice body it is not a sin but a public service when you wear a swimsuit.

All in agreement, raise your arms to the square...

We had a Mormon guy who was a chronic snitch at my company in Utah. I won't get in to everything he did, but his MO was to pretend to be your friend, and wait for you to make a mistake so he could tattle.

That was his way of climbing the ladder in a tech support company that eventually lost the contract to India, anyway.

An empty victory if I've ever seen one.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2011 12:44AM by T-Bone.

When I was fourteen I grabbed a beer at a wedding party in a local park. A "concerned member" ratfinked to my father, who gave me the full Dante. I was to go to Hell for making my father look bad. Between beer and Daddy, well, let's just say the old man ain't got the suds.

...DW told a TBM that the church could potentially be sued for some of the ways it treats children, especially in our particular ward.

Next Sunday I was approached by a hostile Bishopric member...seriously, he was almost in fighting stance...berating me for threatening to sue the church.

Idiots.

I await getting tattled on....but I'm 63 so really don't give a @#%$ anymore....and I'd love to confront whomever rats me out in public with the press in attendance...

Interesting topic.

I don't know if I was ever tattled on. Maybe that's part of the nature of the case: Secret combinations and communications. I assume that Mormon culture being so focused on the chain of command and the motto of "return and report," there must have been "reports," good or bad, about me.

When I was losing my testimony, struggling, upset, one of the things that preyed on me was the worry of social stigma within the little Mormon ward world.

Stupid now that I look back on it, but at the time, the environment of the ward fish bowl/grapevine of gossip, the problem of what would they think or say, how would my wife and children be treated if and when I stopped going--these sorts of questions added to my anxieties and burden, I think ultimately making me hate and despise the church even more b/c I recognized that those concerns had nothing to do with my relationship to God or Jesus or the Holy Ghost and had everything to do with something extraneous: social judgment, coercion, fear. At that point I had to leave b/c I saw that the church was just its own little nest of neurosis and craziness and authoritarianism.

The authoritarianism reared its head again when I began to wonder what my wife or kids had told ward leaders or members about our home life or about me or about my drinking decaf green tea or how I spent my time reading books that weren't church approved. Again, the relationship to another form of authoritarianism prevalent in central Europe in the 1930s and into the 40s confirmed my belief that the church was not a force for good.

I remember one now: This young woman, from a big family in the ward--she later became pregnant sans marriage at the tender age of 17 or 18; big bruhaha--she works at this restaurant and I'm going through the drive-thru on a Sunday. She's working on a Sunday so here I am, caught, buying non-essential items *gasp* on the Sabbath. She was 16 at the time. She told me as she gave me my order, which included tea, "You shouldn't be here on a Sunday. Haha. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

Yeah, right. She probably tattled to her mom at least as soon as she got home, if not via cell phone within the next five minutes. I didn't like the sense that this kid thought she had had one over on me, was taking me to task, and then was turning all friendly and magnanimous about it by promising not to rat me out, which she probably was going to do anyway. What a wonderful religion. Isn't it marvelous? Isn't it great?

derrida Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I remember one now: This young woman, from a big
> family in the ward--she later became pregnant sans
> marriage at the tender age of 17 or 18; big
> bruhaha--she works at this restaurant and I'm
> going through the drive-thru on a Sunday. She's
> working on a Sunday so here I am, caught, buying
> non-essential items *gasp* on the Sabbath. She
> was 16 at the time. She told me as she gave me my
> order, which included tea, "You shouldn't be here
> on a Sunday. Haha. Don't worry. I won't tell
> anyone."
>
> Yeah, right. She probably tattled to her mom at
> least as soon as she got home, if not via cell
> phone within the next five minutes. I didn't like
> the sense that this kid thought she had had one
> over on me, was taking me to task, and then was
> turning all friendly and magnanimous about it by
> promising not to rat me out, which she probably
> was going to do anyway. What a wonderful
> religion. Isn't it marvelous? Isn't it great?

I don't get it...I thought devout Mormons weren't supposed to work on Sundays unless absolutely necessary, so wasn't SHE in the "wrong" as well?

Hey Guys, first post here, long time lurker.

I can't count the number of times we were tattled on by members being a missionary in Vegas where the population is divided evenly by "evil, gambling, drug-users" and "clean-cut TBMs". Once during our P-Day (Thursday) we were tattled on for not being out working while grocery shopping (the TBM thought all missions P-Days fell on a Monday). So many other times for needing to stop real quick to buy medicine, or milk, or even a pack of gum before we went to a lesson after eating rancid uncooked poached Indian style eggs.

Well, she was "worried" about me and several other friends because we didn't show up at curfew........in fact, we stayed out all night.
Ya know it's Hawaii........beautiful beach, beautiful weather.

So we were all questioned separately........no big sins discovered.

But we were "campused" for the rest of the semester and my parents were told...........My DD the patriarch was not happy with me. I was 18..........didn't live at home.......but the rules at CCH/BYUH kept me on campus. (no beach)

IF BYUH room mate happens to be exmo now...........hope you recognize this story.
K

After my wasted year at Ricks Big Churchy High School with Curfews and Snitches, I hung around Rexburg--mostly because I didn't want to go home, but also because the rebound boyfriend lived in Idaho Falls and I had gotten a job with a CPA firm in Rexburg. I rented a basement apartment with three other girls.

The couple who owned the house seemed nice at first, but it really was a dumb idea to rent their 2-bedroom, perhaps 800-square-foot basement apartment to 4 girls. There were just too many of us, and we probably did make more noise than we thought. The couple upstairs quickly turned into these insane noise Nazis.

Then one of my roommates, Terri, who was from Idaho Falls and whose dad was "the bishop," took up with this douchey guy from a nearby town. He was a creep--cut all the whiskers off of one of my two kittens, so I hated his guts. His name was Travis, as I recall.

Yeah, four girls and two kittens. Plus Travis spent the night a couple of times. Then one night Terri didn't come home, and the people upstairs call her parents ... and one roommate's older sister, and another's mother. They would have called my parents, too, but luckily my dad was all John Birchy and had a thing about being listed in the phone book.

Terri's parents came and got her, and the rest of us ran screaming away from the house on 2nd West, that very day.

Terri was over 18, and we knew where she was. It was absolutely none of the upstairs people's business. During the confrontation, it became apparent through some of the things they said that they had been doing some serious intrusive spying. I don't remember what, except that we were shocked and not wanting to spend another night in that house.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2011 06:48PM by munchybotaz.

Wait, you were over 18 and not allowed to leave campus? I believe your civil rights were violated. If this happened within the last couple of years, it probably wouldn't hurt to call a Hawaiian attorney for a consultation.

This was in 1962.

Hey, Shannon (TBM "friend") are you an exmo yet? I should have turned the tables on you. I know you and "local boy" were having fun.

K

Welcome to Mormon dating culture. This is often typical. They look after each other. Everyone is their brother's keeper. It's part and parcel of the whole religious package. It has it's positive elements, that's for sure.
The girl know what would probably happen if she didn't go home.
No surprise there.
Fortunately, nothing happened to her. We read everyday of what does happen to girls that don't come home and it's not pretty.

There's nothing positive about a bunch of snoopy snitches monitoring and meddling in other people's lives, trying to get them in trouble for stupid things. That is what they're doing, 99.99% of the time.

As for the girls who don't come home, a person who's genuinely concerned about a girl getting raped or cut up into little pieces or whatever calls THE POLICE, THAT NIGHT. They don't wait until the next morning to call some idiot from church.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2011 06:35PM by munchybotaz.

The police can't intercede with the Lard for her safety -- what good can THEY do?

;)

Yeah, all those poor cops have is guns, armor, fight training, Tasers, pepper spray, handcuffs, cars, sirens, computer databases, investigative skills, surveillance equipment, tracking dogs, helicopters, Amber alerts, and a huge pool of manpower. Bishops on the other hand have an invisible ghost friend that helps them feel things. How is a cop supposed to compete with that?

I was called into the SP (who was a great guy)'s office. He said someone had reported that I said that Joseph Smith was an adulterer and asked me if it were true. Although I believed JS was an adulterer I couldn't recall making such a statement so I said that I didn't recall doing that. He accepted my answer and then said, "Of course you know he was." I replied, "I know."

A few months later he put me on the HC. There aren't many SPs like him.

Ah, tattling and passive/aggressive behavior, hallmarks of the MUMM (messed up mormon morality). So much for that whole being honest and speaking plainly to your brother stuff.

I was tattled on by the ex and by my good friend and high priest group leader. Both times I went before the SP and I stood by the words that I had written. These pretenders I learned, don't like critical thinking going on that doesn't put the church in a good light especially if any of it winds up inside the flocks head without their prior approval. Tattle tale behind my back without a hint of the integrity it would have taken to discuss anything to my face. No. A hp group leader had to go tell Dad. Totalitarian to the max.

Tattling. Yes. Royal pain in the rump, epecially when the tattler ASSUMES and is TOTALLY FREAKING WRONG. Problem is, in moism, they NEVER apologize and your sundered reputation is NEVER salvaged.

My incident involved a coffee maker. At that time, I worked for a company that had an inventory/repair office located at a different facility than the office where the sales team worked. Our coffee maker went down at our office and my boss asked me to take it to repair facility along with a broken copier, so I had both sitting on my dining room table, which was visible from the living room. I couldn't leave them in the car because it was summer> It was very hot and the electronics could fry.

That night, my wife had VTs overs. 2 days later we get a imperious call from the Exec Sec. Out Bishop wanted to see us THAT night at such and such at time. It was very important, but the ES didn't know what it was about. So of course, like fools at that time of our life, we went. Church was about 40 minutes from where we lived, so it was a pain in the neck. Drop everything and run to your leaders. Stupid cult.

When we got there, the Bishop had us cool our heels for about an hour, and then finally greets us.

Cold Fish Time. Gimlet eye. He starts off: It has come to my attention that a grevious transgression of the Word of Wisdom has occured by both you and your wife. Given the severity of the situation, I will have to ask for your temple recommends.

WTF?

My wife was pretty annoyed by this time and cuts to the chase.
Bishop, what is it that we are accused of having done in violation of the WOW?

I understand you have a cofeemaker in your home?

My wife came unglued. Absolutely the most furious I have ever seen her. Go Babe! Kick some butt. What she said is forever etched in my mind. I have NEVER enjoyed some a meeting like I did that one. It isn't often you see a bishop get beheaded.

FIRST, it is my house and what I have in my house is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Do you not understand privacy and respect?

SECOND, the ONLY PEOPLE here at church who would know about the coffeemaker are my VTs, who visited me two days ago. It is a serious violation of trust for them to come to you with this information in an attempt to correct me for a percieved transgression, something that is none of their business or your business.

The bishop interupts, saying it IS his business as a Judge in Isreal. Before he can't spout more, my wife interrupts. That might be true Bishop ONLY if I confessed I had a problem or you witnessed it. Getting things 3rd hand through assumptions is dangerous and an abuse of your authority. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't interrupt me with excuses until I am finished speaking. That is how things are in the civilized world.

To continue, the reason I KNOW it was the VT who ultimately tattled is that the coffee maker was in our home 1 day. My husband was taking a broken coffee maker and copier to his company's inventory/repair office the next day because we live near that office even though he works at a downtown office.

To make it clear: IT IS NOT OUR COFFEEMAKER. WE DO NOT DRINK COFFEE. WE FOLLOW THE WOW IN MY HOME. HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST OTHERWISE BASED ON CONJECTURE AND THREATEN TO TAKE AWARE MY TEMPLE RECOMMEND.

It was awesome!

The bishop only lame excuse was to go on about how it is inappropriate to even have a coffeemaker in our home because of the message it sends to visitors. My wife rolled her eyes and claimed he is the sorriest excuse for a bishop it had ever been her displeasure to speak to.

My wife was seriously pissed, in other words.

She later confronted both the VTs. She found out they went to the RS counselor, who went to the RS President, who took it to the 1st Counselor in the Bishopric, who then involved the Bishop. Gotta love the privacy, right? Who doesn't know about it? Geez.

Is this not totally frickin ridiculous how many people were involved in something that IS NOT THEIR BUSINESS? Not one person involved stopped the process, either. They just kept elevating it until it came to the Bishop's attention, meanwhile gossiping and frowning all the way. All anyone will remember is that we had a coffeemaker. Scandalous. Stupid, too.

What an asshat. What a bunch of asshats.

The church culture encourages this kind of behavior and rewards its.

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm out.

I was called into the Branch President's office and grilled about an 'affair' I was having with one of the sister missionaries in my class.

I did have to lower my head and admit that I had talked to her alone in the hallway...but an affair? not really.

I never did find out who ratted us out. Imagine being so self-righteous that if you saw a man and a woman talking, you knew they were probably screwing too.

It's just unreal the fixation they have about coffee. You'd think it was the 11th commandment right after murder and adultery.

Lets see...
1. A lady in the ward called my mother to tell her that I was acting silly at the grocery store when I was 13.
2. My boss at BYU (I worked as a secretary in the electrical engineering dept.) found and read my journal in my office and fired me because he found that I was not obeying BYU rules (camping with boys). He said I was lucky that I wasn't kicked out of the university. And it was okay that he read my journal??????? I was so embarrassed at the time, but in retrospect, it was unbelievable what he did.
3. One of my roommates tattled on another roommate for lesbian behavior (I have no idea what was going on) and she was subsequently kicked out of BYU...she was gone within 24 hours.
4. One of my good friends who was at BYU with an Ezra Taft Benson scholarship was kicked out our freshman year because her roommate tattled that she had snuck in through the window after midnight.
5. I was sexually assaulted by a BYU football player and NOTHING was done (this was in the early 90's).
6. I was brought by an undercover standards policing student to the standards office and made to kneel on the floor to check if my shorts were too short.

I am getting worked up just writing this stuff down. I can't believe that I still go to church. I feel sick to my stomach.

phoebe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> 5. I was sexually assaulted by a BYU football
> player and NOTHING was done (this was in the early
> 90's).


That is horrific! :-( Maybe you should check with an attorney to see if you can still press charges at this date.

Seriously check the statute of limitations for Utah for that one. Unfortunately, even if they are not expired there is probably nothing that an investigation could do because of the time that has elapsed. However, with what is going on an Penn State, and BYUs obsession with having a squeaky clean reputation, it might get the kind of exposure needed to make them implement reforms that would protect someone else.

I was tattled on for being gay. This was in the mid 80s and I lived alone in the Avenues in SLC. I’d gone on a mission, returned to BYU for a year, but couldn’t stand it. Transferred to the University of Utah. Another (straight) guy I knew who also had transferred from BYU snitched on me, even though I was still a virgin at the time and was heavily wracked with guilt.

I was inactive and had never attended my ward in SLC. I got a cold call from the Executive Secretary that the Bishop wanted to speak to me. At the time I didn’t have the balls to refuse to agree to a meeting, so I went.

Turned out it was the first counselor--some fat fuck who could barely fit in his chair. He was extremely rude, and we played a game of cat-and-mouse while he attempted to get me to admit “my sin.” Lots of intrusive and inappropriate questions. He was a complete and total prick, and it caused me a lot of angst at the time.