Posted by:
Cheryl
(
)
Date: December 29, 2011 11:41AM
You are good enough! So am I.
Has anyone thrown canned advice at you? Something they heard somewhere and swallowed whole? You know what I'm talking about, advice that discounts your intellect and your hearfelt choices.
You're offended. Get over it.
Rise above your anger (when anger might or might not be what you're feeling.)
Strive for righteousness.
Be grateful for your blessings.
You're just disappointed you didn't get the calling you wanted.
Obedience is the only path to true happiness.
Take the high road (which means roll over and let church people stomp all over you.)
Pray for the "right" answers and read scripture.
Listen to the HG.
Don't deny the burning in your bosom.
We've missed you at church. (So it's your own fault if you feel lonely or abandoned.)
You chose your bed, now sleep in it.
You never had a real testimony. Pray for it and lean on mine until your prayers are answered.
All of the above statements discount who we are and what we feel. Those statements cut to the quick. They slap us when we're down and demonize our authenticity.
I'm like most exmormons who don't like being kicked around. I grew up in a dysfunctional BIC home to parents who expected their kids to lie about the plyg groups they supported and who expected me to be the whipping boy/girl in the family. They didn't want me to go to college of have a career. They saw me as a third or fourth teen bride for some lowlife mormon polygamist. I could be a bargaining chip for buying prestige with their plyg prophet of choice at the time.
They're ashamed of being proven wrong. I didn't make good. Instead, I finished college, I married a successful nevermo, celebrated our 45 year anniversery a couple of days ago, had a full career, paid for a nice house "out in the world, traveled to 22 European countries and most US states and accepted praise and awards I haven't bothered to mention to TBM family because in their eyes I failed and will always be a failure.
So how does it feel to come to a Recovery group board and be told I not good enough because of being flawed? It doesn't feel good.
Is it acceptable to have human flaws after what we've suffered? I think it is not only acceptable, it's normal and to to be expected.
Is perfection a legitimate and obtainable goal? Well, mormons and a few exmormons seem to think so.
Having PTS over occasional intrusions by mormon strangers at my door is harder on me than it is on pointy nosed driveby morg loving posters who tell me I'm wrong, mean, rude, and crotchety.
Big deal!
So what are wrong, mean, rude, crotchety exmormons supposed to do?
I know the answer. slink off into the shadows and shrivel up, die, and shut up.
No, I say if someone tells you you're not good enough, it's *they* who need to step up or slink off.
Some of us are done with that wornout message of not being good enough. And we've heard canned advice long enough to know it doesn't work unless someone asks for it and it coincidentally happens to suit them at their stage of development.
Those who weren't fazed by being mormons can go about their merry lives but I'll spit in their eyes if they say any of us aren't good enough. We're damned good! And it's time we knew it.