I have a question for fellow RfM's who are from or have lived in the South- Is it truly so race fueled? In particular, blacks who are angry with other blacks?
The reason why I ask is this for my brother. We are a mixed race family and he is currently stationed in N.C. All of our lives we were raised in Utah and rarely experienced any racism. Most often we were excluded for being a non-LDS family,it had nothing to do with skin color. Since being stationed in the South he has endured never-ending ridicule from other blacks. Apparently, he speaks, acts, and behaves like a white person? We were not raised that a certain race acts a certain way so this was news to the both of us. Every week for over a year I have listened to him vent about the ignorance of people who reside in this part of the country. He is really at the end of his rope. We have always been proud of our family and were taught not to be ashamed of ourselves or where we come from so to hear my own brother say he is ashamed to be black after living down there I am just floored. He says every single sterotype he has ever seen potrayed in the media he has now seen first hand.
This is the only forum I belong to where I feel comfortable asking this question. I know it's a hot topic but I really am curious. I just can't fathom living in an area that was still so segregated?

I haven't lived in the south for many years, but from my experience, many southerners never got over losing the Civil War. Many are still fighting it in their heads.

Racism is alive and well all over this country, it's just a lot more evident in some places than it is in others. The deep south is probably the worst.

For what it's worth, my daughter who lives on Long Island in New York tells me it's amazingly segregated there, too. She can't get over it.

I hope your brother takes back his pride in who he is and doesn't let this get the best of him.

Here's what I've learned so far:

There is as much diversity within any one race as there is between races.

I've seen the stereotypes first hand for three races here in Alabama. Sure, there are obvious racial issues that come up. I think for the most part people are trying so hard not to do or say anything that could remotely be interpereted as being insensitive.

Recently in the news some dufus teachers in Atlanta used slaves as examples in math problems as part of a history integration lesson. It displayed an extreme lack of diversity training and awareness of sensitivities. I saw black coworkers discussing it so I know there is still some offense taken and I can see why.

I can only give an impression about the black angry with black issue. There sometimes seems to be an unspoken acceptance and expectation when certain black groups are together at work. They actually speak differently than they do in, say, a business meeting that is mixed races. Honestly, I still have a hard time understanding them sometimes.

I'd say my best friends at work happen to be black. I am friends with people who I enjoy and avoid the ones who are hard to work with. I don't really notice the race now that I am used to being around a mix. The black Baptist culture is more emotional than I am used to (singing, praising, etc.). I do hear occassional dissing of black people about behavior, but really no more than I would hear from a white person complaining about anyone else.

I've lived in the South most of my life. Make no mistake. Racism is very alive and well in this neck of the woods.

I lived in SLC for 1.5 years. No where in the world are racism, sexism and homophobia more alive and well!

To portray Utah as a model of long-standing social enlightenment is, at best, a lie.

Timothy

My experience living in Utah is that people had no idea how racist they were. They seemed to think that if they had a "black friend" they couldn't possibly be racist. Never mind their openly-racist opinions on Mexicans & Pacific Islanders. It was infuriating at times.

Sure, there's racism in the South, and it's despicable, but at least we know it's there and we don't pretend to be more enlightened than we are.

This is a touchy topic indeed. I served and lived with a lot of black people when I was in the Army. I did see some black guys being picked on because they weren't "black enough." I also met some white guys who had KKK cards that they proudly pulled out of their wallets when in the company of other whites. I once lived in a tiny town in western Oregon where a black family was run out by means of a burning cross. I've been threatened by bullies of all colors. Had friends of all colors. We all have compatible DNA. I think racism is a modern echo of ancient tribalism. I don't like it any more than I like religion, which also has ancient roots.

Timothy I was not meaning to paint UT as the perfect utopia. It certainly has many serious issues and I won't lie by saying I can't wait to move out of this state if the opportunity comes along. The racism we have experienced here came more from older Mormons who were still positive that if the gospel is accepted then a physical change occurs. Of course, I didn't know this was the basis of thinking until after my conversion but afterward it explained many of those encounters. There have been other kinds as well but it's mostly looks, trying to refuse kind service, etc. The LDS church has a hand in everything around here and it makes me crazy. There is no real seperation between church and state despite what many apologists think.
The racism my brother is experiencing seems to be on a whole new level though. He can walk in somewhere and be treated just fine but the moment he opens his mouth to order off a menu someone starts in on him. He buys a CD at Walmart and at the checkout the cashier has something to say about it. This is how his entire day goes. He has stopped trying to even date.

And yes Debbie I keep telling him just that. He is a wonderful person and has been through so much. He's paid a heavy price for serving and should be proud of who he is. He is nearing the end of his service and isn't able to re-enlist thanks to a spinal cord injury the Army gave him so I hope just coming home and getting on with life with help him.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2012 09:08PM by fetching49.

I live in midwestern N.C. There are a lot of mixed marriages in this area. Mostly white women to black men. not a lot of people really care, and I've never heard anyone say anything for quite a while about race. Most people are more concerned about work and about the drug problems. There are several black communities in the area, but they have more and more white families moving in and more and more black people are moving into white areas.
I'm not saying there are no racial problems but they are not nearly as bad as in the bigger cities. My work has taken me into a lot of homes over the last ten years. The homes have been about 50/50. The black people have been as nice to me and my crew as the white people. As a general rule, the homes of the black people are much cleaner than the white people.
I hope your brother can find a way around the problem of black on black harassment.

Texas is spectacularly racist. They will tell you that the reason blacks are poor and disadvantaged has nothing to do with lack of funding in their schools, substandard housing and hunger. And that those who are living in poverty are just lazy and have gotten used to handouts from the evil government. And that those who 'play the racism card' are just liberals. Because, remember, the earth is only 6,000 years old and the Civil War was about States Rights, not slavery. Our textbooks say so.

Anybody with a high school diploma should know that. (Guess what? I'm not a conservative, either, so don't even try to make this political or personal.)

It sounds like it's not just racism, but also that people aren't recognizing basic cultural differences-- which should be expected and respected. If your brother isn't from NC, he's not going to act like it. People shouldn't have those kinds of expectations.

That's a problem I had with my in-laws. I'm not from Utah, so I didn't act like it, and they never could understand that. They gave me a hard time over everything from my accent, to my clothes, to my political opinions, life decisions, and everything in-between. I realized pretty early on that while I understood that these were cultural differences, they didn't think there should be cultural differences (we're all white, so we should act the same, right? hah!). They just thought I was a defective member of their culture, but really, I wasn't a member of their culture at all.

I'm from the Southwest and I have had the same experience as your brother when visiting the South. I'm also mixed race and I get the "you aren't really one of us" thing from black people there. It's not a skin color thing with them -- it's a cultural thing. Racism permeates every facet of life there to some degree. The unwritten rule for decades was that any black ancestry makes someone black no matter what they looked like so people had an "us or them" attitude about everything. Blacks listen to "black" music and whites listen to "white" music. White people do "white" things and black people are supposed to do "black" things. I am myself and I don't act as the member of any race -- but if they want to think that's acting "white" then that's their problem. I think it's sad but that's how it is down there.

I am a Caucasian who moved to Huntsville, AL because my husband's job is here. I am a health professional. It is funny this topic came up on this board because I was talking about this very subject with a Black friend of mine in the area. I noticed at continuing education meetings that the local white ladies (not all, but a vast majority) do not interact with their fellow Black health professionals. I wondered if this was my imagination....but no, my Black friend assured me what I saw was true. She commented, "Did you see the movie, 'The Help?" Well, the Black women in that movie said they felt invisible. It is how I feel at those meetings." Yes, racism is alive and well in the South!"

I know how it feels to 'not be black enough'. My dad is black and my mum is White, I wasraised by her and had all White friends growing up. Then when I got to college i got called a 'coconut' or an 'oreo' (black on the outside White on the in). It certainly is infuriating that people associate a certain skin colour with a type of behaviour or personality.

I live in Alabama and the majority are racist. Not just the whites, but also blacks. They even discriminate in their own race. It's sad that this happens but that is just how it is down here. Also, mixed people are often not excepted by anyone. Of course, there are nice and accepting people too but the majority are not. I'm part American Indian myself but I don't advertise it unless around people I trust.

If a white kid acts too black, he gets put down for it also. I also have seen a person of latino descent get put down because he couldn't speak spanish (he lived in Iowa his whole life). If you act outside the "norm" for your race/group, somehow you are saying "your race/group is not good enough for you".

It's stupid logic, but you will find it anywhere, with any people.

As a person of Spanish/Mexican, Navajo, and European heritages, I can attest to this.

I've been treated like crap from anyone of these groups. Some Latinas don't like me because I'm too "white," some white people are pissed because I have a Spanish name, and some Navajos think I'm just another racist white person. Good times.

Racism is part of the human condition, and absolutely not confined to the United States or Europe. When I served my mission in Japan, I was amazed with the rampant racism. Koreans were thought to be stupid garlic eating bumpkins and Chinese were considered sneaky. Those with darker skin, hairier faces/bodies, big noses, etc. were different and inferior. When I lived in Taiwan, there was a whole new set of racialism (and raw hatred of the Japanese from when they occupied the country).

My point is, in general (and there are always exceptions)humans are hard wired to fear Others, and fear is only a synapse flash from hatred. We're getting better, but still have a long way to go before we evolve out of this condition.