I was lucky enough to see the light before getting trapped in a TBM marriage, but most of my sibs were not. Of course, the idiocy of the fathers is being visited upon the sons, even unto the 3rd generation (and counting...). One of my nearly innumerable TBM-RM nephews just got married to a girl he dated for a whole 2 weeks before popping the question; she was the first girl he had ever dated at all. He had been home from his mission for a good 2 months, so this financially stable and world wise young man was more than ready to start his eternal journey. Of course, as is traditional in a good MoMon families, it was a long engagement, almost 4 months!

Can anybody beat this timetable?

My TBM sister married the only guy she ever dated. They started together when she was just 15 and he was 18. She waited while he went on a mission for two years. She organised the wedding in his absense and they married within 2 months of him getting home.

They're still together, but I'm not sure how happy they both are.

My parents are TBM - dad's been a stake president among many other things.

They became boyfriend/girlfriend in 9th grade and have never dated anyone else.

The are in their 60s and have a miserable marriage.

Last year I was at lunch with my Mom and asked her when Dad was planning to retire.

Her answer was that she has no idea and that he never talks to her about things. They are in their 60s and haven't even discussed retirement plans with each other. Wow!

Already being married and knowing nothing at all about girls will definitely be doing it the hard way for your nephew.

I knew a guy on my mission that drove me crazy with his mysticism that got engaged in 3 days and married in 6 weeks.

Holy schnittkes, 3 days and 6 months. You win.

My brother did the same thing, got engaged after 2 weeks, and married after 4 months. They're still together, 17 years and counting. They seem fairly happy but sometimes I wonder about his wife (whether she's really happy).I don't think she'd admit it if she weren't.

My nephew just did the Get-back-from-mission-meet-a-girl-at-the-Y-get-engaged & married-in-two-months thing. My brother hadn't even met the parents. I'll bet Mitt's $10,000 that she gives up getting her degree and is pregnant next month.

We got a cheesy announcement with photo's and, except for the nametags, they were in mishie outfits! And it said "The couple is registered at Target" You can't make this stuff up.

P.S. Nothing against Target, but didn't people used to get registered at, like, Macy's, Bloomie's, or Sak's? (Not that Utah has a Sak's)

Gotta love the Target registry though. They even deliver if you order on line, an important feature in my massive and horny TBM family.

How about being registered at Walmart? I kid you not. My very own BIL. He got back from his mission and married less than 6 months after returning to a girl he dated for a whopping 4 weeks. Of course they had a "long" engagement of 2 months during which she made everyones life hell. Evidently, the wedding party is supposed to pay for the wedding AND provide a good wedding gift. It's what "good" families do. Or so HER mother said while calling us all up and screaming at us for not footing the bill. (Yes, you read that correctly. Brides mother calling future in-laws for money.) One thing I love about my husband is that he has no problems removing the filter between his brain and mouth when the occassion calls for it.
We did not get them anything they registered for at Wallyworld. Instead we gave them some non-perishable goods we had in the back of the pantry that I was planning on donating to the food bank. We were very nice about it though. We made sure to double bag the plastic so nothing would accidently break.

One of my friends was registered at WalMart for their marriage...sad, sad, sad! The other three were registered at Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Marriage for the purpose of gettin' it on is not a Mormon phenomenon.

It's a human phenomenon.

Hormones, hormones, hormones.

Even as TBM, I had more nonMo friends than Mo friends and exactly NONE of them waited for marriage to have guilt free sex. Just saying...

Maybe not, but I had dozens of Christian friends that did the same thing. Married straight out of high school just so they could get to "know" each other Biblically without guilt. I was almost one of them! Thank goodness I waited. I know that if I had married any of the 3 guys that asked before I was 21 I would be divorced now. All were nice guys- none were right for me.

I may still be single at 33, but at least I didn't get into a marriage that probably would have failed. And, now I know I'm bipolar. If I had had babies right away, I would have passed those genes on- which is something I refuse to do now that I know.

Leaving in 30 minutes for a wedding reception. Bride and groom at 18. No life experience, no means of support (living in parents basement), no education. Discussed with wife and decided that it would be better to just do the dirty deed instead of getting stuck like this.

OTOH, responsible, mature adults can learn, adapt, & grow into a happy, productive relationship, it's difficult if not impossible to know which are which.

but in MoMism, compromise is often seen as Evil, so that ends a lot of what could otherwise be h & p.

then, there's the sex only for babies thingee...

My 19-yr old niece just got married to her man at BYU. He's a recent RM and they dated for 3 weeks before the engagement and 3 months before the wedding. You know they call it Puppy Love. Well, they have no money and her now hubby is dropping out of school for an $8/hr job... yeah.

I'm a firm believer that people should have premarital sex just to be sure they are a good physical match, and to get the issue out of the way so they don't jump into marraige due to hormones.

I'm sure plenty of people feel the opposite, but it's kind of like test driving a car.

cars don't become pregnant or get diseases.
cars don't become emotional basket cases because of unmatched expectations.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2012 08:11PM by guynoirprivateeye.

guynoirprivateeye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> cars don't become pregnant or get diseases.

Neither do people if they use condoms and reliable birth control.

> cars don't become emotional basket cases because of unmatched expectations.

Neither do people if they get to know their partners first.

Finding out that you are sexually incompatible after marraige would really suck.

Chemistry can sometimes be limited to the idea of sex. I've been with a few people that turned me on immensely until we actually had sex.

My wife is the person I've had the most chemistry with, which I found out about before we were married.

All the more reason to be sure you test-drive the person!
RG

excellent comment. you are vry perspicacious.

When we lived in Wisconsin there was a couple we knew that had met and married in less than 48 hours. The man was a convert in England. He was offered a job in the US and he wanted to get married in the temple before starting his new job. He flew to Salt Lake on a Thursday. Met this girl on Friday. They were married in the Salt lake Temple on Saturday. On Sunday they flew to Atlanta to start his new job as an engineer. They were still married a few years later when we met them in Wisconsin. It really happened!! I don't remember how they met each other. I believe it might of been a former missionary who lived in SLC who introduced them to each other.

On my mission in Finland there was an elder who flew home on a Thursday and married his girl friend on Saturday. She waited for him.

Amazing stuff happens in Mormonism...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2012 07:49PM by Eric K.

Friggin Brits and their charming manners and accents.

would approve that?

You'd be hard pressed to find a pastor that would perform a wedding under similar circumstances. Don't you need a special recommend/approval for living ordinances like a sealing?

Perhaps (IDK) a 'crafty' person could self-check the boxes on TR for getting sealed (?) Is sealing permission now electronically imbedded?

Stupid Cult: Controls when you can get an 'approved' marriage.

What Bullship

I knew a guy on my mission who was engaged and sending out wedding invitations during his last month in the field.

In 1965 he returned from a mission. His parents had moved to LA while he was on his mission, met a girl, had him write her, and when he got back they married immediately. She was in a desperate home situation in LA and needed to get out. They've been married these many years. She was also real cute, he was pretty sad looking. Now they're both real sad looking because they put on a ton of weight. But they're both still over the top on Mormonism and have served two missions.

In California, my German teacher, a BYU grad, fell in love with a 15 year-old Mormon student who was a friend of mine. They waited until she graduated and then got married when she was only 17. It was creepy. I didn't even know that was legal and I wonder how he never got fired. But they're still together, too, some 43-44 years.

Was a Scottish guy in my mission.

He was in his first area when he somehow decided that he was going to marry an American sister, also serving in the same district. Despite not knowing each other prior to their missions, they kept in touch throughout & when she went home she organised the marriage. He finished his mission in August & went over to the U.S & they were married in October.

Engaged (against mission rules) to someone that he had never dated or kissed & then married to them two months after being actually able to date them.

Just for good measure, this guy became AP & was the most pompous a**hole when it came to pulling other missionaries up over any minor breaking of mission rules.

I later heard from one of his London MTC group, that he'd been telling the other Elders in the MTC, how he was definitely going to marry an American sister.

DON'T the successes show that humans are capable of compromise & adapting to the needs & contributions of their partners?

Isn't growing into the relationship the 'REAL' challange of a marriage/partnership?

Sure, some Penisholders are a**holes, and dominate the relationship... but I think submissive wives are a vanishing breed.