Posted by:
totallyanon
(
)
Date: January 24, 2012 08:23PM
The basics: I lost my ex, of several years ago, to my own foolishness...aka, my conversion to the "Church" (hahahaha, like this crazy, torturous, soul-sucking cult is a "church"). Stopped talking to him. Basically was a total jerk. Since then, and obviously since I left said soul-sucking cult, we've exchanged apologies and a lot of small talky "what's up?" type things/semi-thorough updates on our lives every month or so.
Well, I miss him. I don't want to just jump into some relationship, I don't really know anything about his personal life except that we've both had a couple of relationships since then, and I'd really like to just be good friends with him at first, if it ever does become romantic. But I do want to be honest that I think about him. Keep in mind that we were super close, so we're used to talking pretty casually and openly with each other.
Young guys, especially, but everybody really: Is this totally creepy and should I just shut up and not talk to him, or is this acceptable?
Please, please don’t think I’m a weirdo. I’m really not! (Well, I guess that’s debatable—but I’m definitely not trying to be creepy.)
I’ve never done anything like this, and I guess I’m not sure exactly what to say. It’s been a really rough few years for me, emotionally, spiritually, with my family and everything else. Some of it started in high school—and I was going through a lot of it when I basically fell off the face of the earth senior year, and pushed away the person/people who cared about me most.
I’ve gotten through it, and managed to do pretty well externally, but on the inside? It’s been hard. And randomly, the other day, I was thinking about you and the thought suddenly popped up in my head, “I wish _____ had been there to talk to through all this.” Weird, I know, since we haven’t *really* talked, like we used to talk, in years, since we were much younger. But the thought was there. And then I remembered how we had shared so much with each other, and what a sweet and giving and compassionate man you’d been to me, even when you were just a kid, and even though I was super difficult, which I know was, um, not rarely. You are a very awesome person, and you blessed me a lot.
So what’s the point of my rambling? I guess I’m not really sure. You might be totally creeped out by this because you’re a totally different person now and haven’t thought about me even one time in years, or you might have a girlfriend and be weirded out because you think I’m hitting on you. You might think this is kind of nice and forget about it tomorrow. But I guess I just wanted to let you know that you were really important to me. We dated when we (ok, mostly me) were silly kids, and I was super awkward and stone-cold terrified of everything from kissing to confrontation and didn’t have any clue about anything, but we were great friends for a lot longer than that. And, well, I miss you.