My mom certainly did. She even told me, when I was in 8th grade, that she preferred spending time with my brothers over me because "they have more in common" In reality, I think it was because they were jewels in her eternal crown. Both are Eagle Scouts, both are RMs, and one is temple married (I'm sure the other one will be too) She got to show them off and brag to the ward about them...while I was just a girl. There's people she's known for 10 years or better that don't even know she has a daughter. I'm not married in the temple, haven't provided her with grandchildren...never mind that I'm running my own business and serving on our city commission and actually doing something with my life besides popping out one baby after another...

She wonders why we don't have a better relationship. I wanted a Gilmore Girls type relationship with my mom, where I could tell her things and ask her advice and get some non judgmentally...but that was wishful thinking. My mom is as TBM as they get, and no matter what I do, it will be judged. So I keep things selective. We talk once a month or so, and never about anything important.

On the other hand, I have a pretty good relationship with my dad. However, he was ALMOST out of the church when I was a child, until Mom dragged him back in. I would bet that if he outlives Mom, he becomes a fabulous exmo like me =)

Was it just my mother, or did you prefer your sons over your daughters when you were TBM? There's way more to brag about regarding your TBM sons vs your TBM daughters, that's for sure!

My mother always bragged about my brother more. But then he grew up to be an alcoholic, who never calls, and sucked them dry of their life savings after he lost his job and his house because of his drinking.

So now she has learned to appreciate her daughters. *grin* She definitely learned to appreciate me, finally, while my Dad was in the hospital. And now she says, "Make sure you have a girl. Girls call home when they grow up."

She still does the preferential thing though. She definitely cares more about her grandson than she does her grand-daughter. I don't like that it's obvious, because my niece is a pretty cool kid and doesn't deserve that.

I've always been Daddy's girl. I think she resents that a bit too.

For me, I always wanted girls. Didn't know how to handle a boy. But then I never had kids, so it didn't matter.

I had twins--boy/girl. This I can say--I had a really hard time getting along with my sisters and so I was not so sure I wanted a daughter. I was sure I was pregnant with a boy and then when I found out it was twins, I knew it was boy/girl twins. I never looked back.

I see my daughter as a wonderful surprise. We've had our moments, but she is the one I never had to worry about much--let's say, "Much"--because she handles things. Her brother--she and I have "taken care of" her brother and it is probably to his detriment. She's tougher on him than I am. My daughter and I have had our moments.

My dad--he expected so much more from his sons than from us--to the point of they could never live up to his high expectations. None of us could--we thought. He was just a tough guy--but it was not about mormonism, but about things like grades in school (he was a teacher). All of us have been quite successful--and he was proud of us. My mother--same thing. We were all equal as far as boys/girls.

My disabled brother went on a mission. My other brothers left the LDS church in their teens. I know in some ways it was hard for my parents for a while--in terms of most of us left the LDS church, but they did KNOW what wonderful kids they had, but then my dad was never much of a TBM and my mother--well she tried to be TBM. We were never your typical mormon family EVER.

I have to admit I've babied my son more than my daughter--but he is more tender soul and she even knows that. We talk about how to handle him all the time. For a while when she went back to church, we had a difficult time, but we are in a really good place now even with her TBMness. Having a daughter really was one of the best surprises of my life--that it could be so much better than growing up with sisters.

I have a son and a daughter. They are as different as night and day. I have to say I adore them both, but in different ways.

I'm the father of 5(yes, I was TBM). I certainly relate to my sons differently than I do my daughters. Was I supposed to treat them exactly the same?

I've also noticed that my wife relates to my sons in the same way I relate to my daughters. There definitely seems to be a gender variable involved.

I don't think I prefer one over any of the others but each relationship is unique and I'd be lying if I tried to claim each was equal to all the others.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2012 04:26PM by Stunted.

I was born first (female) and I still remember as a kid my mother explaining how after she had my brother (just barely a year later) that she had "succeeded". She favored both of my surviving brothers (she lost three at birth) until they were fully adult. Both of them managed to really anger her somehow and she's much cooler towards them now. My younger sister is the one she's closest to now which is kind of hard on my sister 'cause she's going to end up being the one caring for my mother later on. But I'll help out as much as I can. I take after my father, though, and the physical reminder still irritates her, I think.

Me, I loved both of mine (a boy and a girl) with all my heart. My daughter thought I loved her brother more for a while but eventually she realized that nothing will change my love for her. We're really good friends now that she's an adult. Same with my grandchildren. I don't have favorites. I think they're all amazing in their own, unique ways. :D

Because I do not have any daughters. My daughters in law are pretty spectacular though. In fact, with three married sons I have now accumulated 5 daughters in law. Oldest son's wife came out of the closet and remains in my heart a daughter as does her partner. Oldest's girlfriend, who I believe is heterosexual!, is also very dear. Second and third sons are married to lovely women as well.

My sons were always a handful but turned out fine.

I only have the one kid, he is a son, and I had him after leaving the church. Personally, if I ever have another child, I hope it is a daughter, because I don't know if my back can take anymore being used as a trampoline.

3boys, 1 girl. I can relate to my daughter more easily. But I think I've supported and loved them evenly.

A mom.