I'm still snorting, snickering and outright laughing at the latest missive from Salt Lake, the one from the General Presidency about the need for Temple Recommend candidates to not take their garments off when doing heavy yard work in order to qualify for Temple Recommends.

Follow my thinking here for a moment:

First, the Morg tells you what underware to wear. Cheap uncomfortable, overpriced unflattering crap, I might add.

Then, that's not enough, so they tell you that you must wear it night and day (I guess cleanliness isn't next to godliness) but wait, that's not precise enough so,

Finally, they instruct your leaders to tell you that you can't take them off to do even Yard work, nosiree!

And if we haven't previously, now we are firmly in the realm of idiocy.

You would think that the prophet of the one true church would have more on his mind than whether or not members of the church have garments on when doing yardwork. I'm sure there are one or two masterbaters out there the church has missed. *snort*

Well, in my opinion, we've left the realm of idiocy and entered the realm of kolobianism, where ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING, is possible.

Snicker...snort.... ROFLMAO.

Our world is facing many challenges these days: the economy: epidemic depression; addictions; corruption in government, churches, and other institutions; bigotry; pollution; violent crime; abuse of power, etc.

So, the First Presidency sends out an official letter addressing what *they* consider to be an important issue: ensuring the wearing of sacred underwear when doing yard work!

It’s all a question of priorities.

the lawnmower blades came off and went flying? You could lose a leg or a torso or something. THAT'S why you are supposed to wear those garments! It's for your own protection.

Or what you were weeding and a gopher came up and bit you on the butt? Once again, your garments could save your butt.

The first thing I thought of when I heard this was an experience I had on my mission in South America. We showed up to a church during the week for interviews with the Mission president. The church still had custodians back then, and this guy was walking around doing yard work at the church wearing pants and his garment top. No shirt. I was zone leader and had to listen to a bunch of missionaries trying to get me to tell him to put a shirt on. I told them it was not my place to say anything.

At least the guy was following current modern-day revelations.

Girls camp in 90 degree heat with 100% humidity came to mind. Everyone ditched their garments. It was either that or heat stroke.

Yup. Letter dated December 9, 2011!

At least I think it was him, maybe Lee...

He said women should not be doing their yardwork in revealing clothes, but should wear full length sleeves and jeans, cuz we all know that sexually repressed males can't handle the sight of a sweaty female in shortshorts.

Today, rather than give that same advice that nobody takes seriously, they just remind people of their covenants and to wear the garment which will require the clothing mentioned years ago.

I think a lot of people might feel a little more guilt, but I don't think there's going to be a lot of compliance on this one. If I lived next door to the GA that dreamed this up, I would mow and edge my lawn at midnight when its a little cooler.

Ha-ha! I love the possible solutions! My good looking JackMo neighbor says he's going to wear his garments with his basketball shorts and a wife-beater tank top. I can't wait for summer!

By trying to force members to wear those damn garments day and night, the cult is telling everyone

Your Ass Is Mine.

didn't satan say something like that in the temple movie?

The garment gardner memo from the man who is supposed to have the modern day leadership abilities of Moses and Abraham.

One prophet leads a generation of gods chosen people by performing miracles and writng the ten commandments.

Our current flunkie prophet tells us to wear undies while doing yardwork.

He could have at least added some phrases like joseph smith used to like..."lest the destroying angel should bring death to your homes" More drama or something.

In fairness, Moses probably didn't really do any miracles either. Heck, he probably didn't even really exist.

I'm beginning to wonder if Monson even exists. No leadership at all, just sitting there like an icon telling stories and never testifying of his Book of Mormon or Joseph Smith.

PR consultants make the decisions and set the course while shutting down Packer and Jensen for their comments.

Yes, I think we can safely put Monson in the same category as Moses and Abraham...figureheads that probably never existed.

Source?

I don't think this was an actual missive of the first presidency.

Of course I could be wrong ... I'd be delighted to learn the old guys in Salt Lake are really that far over the hill.

Very real letter, was on John Dehlin's FB page before the Prez got ahold of it..

@Weeder.

I know what you are saying about satire and normally you'd be correct.

The brilliance of Paternoster, however; is that he takes real facts and simply reports on them, albeit totally and completely.

Which makes everything look as ridiculous as it really is.

So,

The letter is very, very real.