Posted by:
Melly
(
)
Date: February 15, 2012 09:05AM
So, the Washington Post has a story today about posthumous baptisms of Jewish holocaust victims and survivors. It's the same story we've heard many times, but this time it kinda jarred my memory and reminded me of how I finally lost interest in not only the Mormon church, but religion in general.
Like many BICs on this board, I had my first great awakening at about 11 years old. I realized I didn't want to go on a mission. And I didn't want to go on a mission because I didn't really believe in the church. In fact, I didn't really believe in any religion because, I felt, religions at their most basic level exist to explain where we go when we die. But no one has died, been away for weeks or months, and come back to tell about it. So, it's all just speculation--speculation that I thought was too outlandish for me to continue accepting as truth.
Fast forward about 10 years, and I was sitting in a BYU religion classroom listening to the teacher talk about that wonderful piece of Mormon theology: paradise/the spirit prison. For those who don't know, Mormons believe that when you die you go to a holding pen before being judged and sent off to one of three heavenly kingdoms (or outer darkness for those really naughty souls). If you're a baptised Mormon and have accepted Jesus as your savior, you go to paradise, which was always described as being like a perfected version of life on Earth. If you have not been baptised and/or have not accepted Jesus, you go to the spirit prison, which is actually not a bad place, but you don't want to be there because it is not heaven.
Anyway, the teacher was going on about how this is necessary because Jesus is our advocate and no one is judged favorably without Jesus at out side, blah blah blah. Someone raised their hand and asked why we need to be judged at all. The teacher starts going off on how Justice (with a capital "J") requires it. He referred to both the BoM and the Bible as he continued to describe Justice as if it were a sentient being, and almost as if it were a fourth member of the godhead. I remember him saying that not even god himself can get in the way of Justice. I imagined Justice as a kicking, screaming, crusty, fat baby in a highchair throwing his food all over the place.
It was stupid.
When I was younger, I felt it reasonable to accept that we are in a fallen state and we need Jesus' help to overcome that. But it's a vague concept, and questions lead to more questions. Before you know it, you have this bloated system of salvation that reeks of human creation, riddled with often faulty human logic. Sitting in that classroom hearing about Justice and god and Jesus and spiritual holding pens, I just couldn't stand it anymore. This was so obviously man's attempt to assuage his fear of death, the greatest unknown in this world. There was absolutely no way that such a complex yet trifling and seemingly random system had been put into place. I mean, did someone sit down and decide how this was all going to work? If so, why couldn't they make it more simple? Why couldn't they make it more obvious and apparent?
It was during that class period that I finally admitted to myself that enough was enough. I did not believe in an afterlife, whether it be heaven, nirvana, or a wheel of rebirth, and I therefore did not believe in religion.
This all came back to me as I read the Washington Post article. The Mormons will continue to apologize to the Jews and vow to cease the baptism while secretly patting themselves on the back for moving souls from the spirit prison to paradise. Such a stupid concept.
So what was it for you? Was there a single moment where you finally decided enough was enough?