So, here's a follow up on the thread about my mother being in the hospital.

I went down and spent 5 days with my brother and SIL. While we spent a lot of time just goofing off, as usual, we also spent time together just talking.

The one person in the world who knows what I went through (and went through it too) sat there with me and said if I needed him to go with me, he'd go, but he'd support any decision I made.

We talked a lot about how we both felt about it, if we thought we'd have regrets later, etc. In the end we decided not to go. And, more specifically, we didn't even call to find out more details.

We feel that, like some of you said, life is for the living. Neither of us had anything to say to her, and there's nothing she could say to us that could make any difference at this point. And there is NO way I'm willing to sit around and listen to a bunch of people talk about what a wonderful woman she was.

So we drank and laughed and talked and had a great time and came to peace with our decisions. It was awesome.

Though, it is a little weird to surf the obits to see if she has finally bit it.

Thank you for letting us know. I was thinking about you and wondering what happened. You did what you needed to do and it worked. Good luck and hugs to you.

I am so glad that you are at peace with your decision. I had been wondering how you were doing, thanks for the update. It is so great to have someone know exactly what you have been through to spend time with. :)

I am glad you were able to come to peace about your decision. It is best to be sure and it seems like you both are. Now you may have a little less stress in your life. And you can have another good time with your brother.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Some day I will have to take the call and hear the news that she has died. It could be tomorrow, it could be 10 years from now. But when that day comes I will know that I did what was right for me, and that I have my brother to lean on.

This is just one more thing in this world that there is no easy answer to, but I have found the one that works for me.

He sounds awesome. How wonderful that you have each other!

The most important thing is that you feel you did the right thing. I'm glad you had your brother to do this with. I mentioned before that my mom passed 3 weeks ago. I had not spoken to her for 3 years because of severe emotional abuse from her. She wanted me to choose my family or her and as hard as I tried to include her with my family-she hated it. She was just a nasty person to everyone. So when I heard she died (and she had been dead 2 weeks by this time) I really felt nothing.I have since found out that she was cremated,which is what she wanted,so that's good. But she also had a scam artist "tending" her for the past few months and he is trying to now get everything she has. My brother and I are livid and are trying to stop this man. My bro has power of attorney ect.,but somehow this guy went around that. We could care less about the money,and it's such a small amount,but damnit we want to stop this man! I want to be able to go through her things in storage and find pictures etc. The jerk even has the key to her storage shed and won't turn it over. I don't know why I told you all that,I guess it's just really been bothering me. But I still have no regret for letting my mother "go" 3 years ago.

I'm so glad that you had a good visit with your brother and that you feel satisfied in your decisions. You and your brother sound like a great team. Glad you have each other.