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Posted by: rgrraymond ( )
Date: November 23, 2010 08:32PM

Wendell, did you go to your sons mission farewell? If so, how did it turn out? I have been wondering.

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Posted by: wendell ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 01:50PM

I guess I didn't make it very clear - he speaks in church the 2nd Sunday in December. So, it hasn't happened yet, and I was planning to go, but after an incident I had with my Dad this week, I am not going. Call me selfish, childish, or whatever else you want, but there is no way in HELL I am attending that meeting if my parents and siblings will be there. I told my Dad that, in no uncertain terms, and he told me he is still going. SO I AM NOT!! Sorry to all those who think I should swallow my pride and just go, but I cannot!

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Posted by: Cali Sally ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 04:20PM

As long as your son knows how much you wanted to be there for him but you could not compromise your self-respect, I think he will totally understand and agree with your decision. You might let him know that if one of his pals could tape his talk you'd love to see/hear him give it. Just an idea. If it would make you sad to do that then skip it.

Be well. Be happy. Be you. Cheers.

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Posted by: 6 iron ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 05:06PM

Waiting at a layover with 16 other elders, because he is going to Bolivia on his mission. I didn't go to his farewell. The bishop tried to manipulate me into going but I just don't like hanging with conditional, self righteous and self important morgbots, plus I don't hang with the ex.

If my ex wasn't going to be there would I have gone? Maybe, but..... prolly not. I was a mormon, I know how they think. They would be looking down at me, either avoiding me or being superficial and nervous around me.

My son didn't seem to mind.

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 07:19PM

You did what was right for you. You would have been treated badly I am sure and then the ex would have complicated things. You now don't have that memory to go over and over in your head.

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 07:17PM

You make your own decisions and if Dad has upset you and ruined something for you I hope your son will understand. You must always do what YOU feel is right for you.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 01:59PM

the relationship would improve.
The important thing is that your son knows that you love him, no matter what. He most likely understands the family dynamics and is probably torn also.

I'm reminded of something George Burns said:
"Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city."

Hope this will lighten your mood.
Hang in there.
Most people can't stay mad --forever! :-)

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Posted by: wendell ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 02:10PM

my hope is that my family will one day find a way to accept that they cannot change who or what I am, but they are very gifted at staying mad for a LONG time.

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Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 02:16PM

When my brother came out of the closet, it was a big deal to me. I thought that he was choosing evil blah blah blah.

However, after I observed him for awhile, and saw that he was a normal human being that was just fine without TSCC, I realizede that I was wrong about his orientation. That the church was wrong.

And that started opening up some cracks that I had already had much wider.

Some of your family won't ever understand. But others may be influenced beyond what you can imagine.

Good luck. Not being there is a tough choice, but going would have been tough too.

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Posted by: Heresy ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 02:25PM


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Posted by: WiserWomanNow ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 06:09PM


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Posted by: rgrraymond ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 02:30PM

I am sorry to hear that. It took guts just to decide to go. You did try and to me that means allot. You will be there so your son in the way that works best for the two of you.
Being gay myself I had an extra interest in what what was happening with you.
My blessings to you, Roger

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Posted by: Suckafoo ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 04:07PM

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. - George Carlin

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Posted by: piper ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 05:55PM

I am sorry you are going through this. Spend some special one-on-one time with your son, if you can. Hang in there. :(

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Posted by: michael ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 07:55PM

If you'll accept it, here's a virtual hug.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 08:10PM

May your son know the kind of love his father has for him. Amen.

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Posted by: wendell ( )
Date: November 24, 2010 08:36PM

Thanks to you all.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 04:41PM


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Posted by: CL2 ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 04:29PM

I agree with the rest--we all support whatever you decide to do. This is NO EASY ROAD.

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Posted by: Adult of god ( )
Date: November 27, 2010 05:19PM

Maybe, when your son is preaching all the "family first" nonsense of the morg to investigators, the cognitive dissonance will begin and will eventually lead him out.

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