This is justice.

In the eighties, my Mormon exhusband told me he no longer wanted to visit his six year old daughter, the youngest. He would take the others and pay for their plane tickets, but not her. Previously, he had disciplined her by locking her in a laundry room with no bathroom for several hours. In previous posts I have described his willingness to say things to his girls, such as, "I don't love you anymore because you have your mother's values, not mine." Or even to an 8 year old (swear to god) "I don't love you any more. I want a new wife and new children."

I told him he could not pick and choose favorites, that if he did not visit them all, he could not visit any of them. That was the end of the visiting and they never saw him again. (Which they didn't miss because he fed them out of the AM/PM and left them alone in the house with onion chips and peanut butter, saying, "make dinner."....they all joke about it now--but the cruelty left scars)

Last night this youngest child came over for some mom-food. She told me casually that she has been emailing my exhusband's oldest son, who is being pressured by his family to go on a mission. He feels his father's failure to acknowledge his apostate daughters is "terrible" and he is questioning the church. He is his father's acknowledged favorite, the heir. (BTW - He had five daughters with me and told me that he married me because he thought I was a proven boy-producer--I had four sons already-- and all he really wanted was a son). My ex has two other children with his new wife--he treats the second boy like a "spare" and the girl like an unnecessary redundancy.

My daughter described her conversations at length with her half brother. About the church, about them interviewing him and finding him unworthy because of masturbation, about his refusal to "work on his attendance", his refusal to set going on a mission as his goals and HERE'S THE BEST PART-- his real plans to enlist in the Coast Guard in April to get away from all the pressure.

Turns out, he has been asking questions about the church over the last few months and my youngest has been telling him things about serving a mission that I told her, that I learned from this site! About the lack of medical care, about the lack of attention to mental illness that resulted in that one missionary being pushed off the train platform into the path of an oncoming train by his companion who had a psychotic break and was not given immediate treatment...

At the time, she laughed and said, "Mom, you need a hobby." To which I replied, "This is one of my hobbies!"

I have underplayed my feelings of rage at the time, that not only did my exhusband evade paying child support, but he traumatized his little girls who loved him by denying them even the most minimal consideration of pretending he still cared about them. None of them have a relationship with him except his own firstborn, who wrote a song about him saying he said didn't love her when he took her to a baseball game. WHAT MONSTER DOES THAT?

So--I must confess to feeling the warm glow of the Holy Spirit of satisfaction in my chest as this karma plays out. The "new" child, the male bearer of his DNA and his values, is being lead out of Mormonism by the little girl he discarded.

The only one, he says, he can talk to.


Anagrammy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 12:48PM by anagrammy.

What a creep, and dumb too! Didn't he ever take high school biology? It's the male who determines gender, NOT the female!!

What an assclown! I cannot imagine treating my child that way.

Inexcusable. He deserve all the disappointment he's bound to get.

That's some serious s**t!

Hope it turns out well.

Timothy

DAYUM!! rotten Bastard!! i love the irony!! what a Jackwagon the ex is!! and damn Granny you look great for spitting out all dem kids!! you look great even for no kids! :)

It's only just begun. His nastiness is going to rain back down on his head X10. I've watched it happen with my ex. He can't figure out why his kids don't like him and want nothing to do with him.

It is shocking that some people can be so hateful toward their own children. I have heard it across the board - and religion had nothing to do with it in those cases. Sometimes these kinds of exclusionary, hateful attitudes toward certain members of the family that begin when they are children, continue for generations. I've seen that also.

I think a lot of that kind of hateful behavior toward children by a parent comes out of their in ability to control them and force them to do what they want. They never grow up themselves. Consequently, they are often discarded.

Fortunately, kids grow up and much of the time, they figure out what is really going on and they find ways to deal with it! In this case:
Horrah for the military. They just got another volunteer!

I looooooooove Karma. Hope this one continues to bite him in the a** for a long time - he deserves it. SO glad to hear the Coast Guard is getting such an excellent young man.

Now that is bittersweet. I hope this continues to be a win/win/win situation for you, your daughter and her brother. I love these stories.

I want to believe in karma and I bet if it exists you have a lot of good stuff coming your way.

Last night was an example to me of how a life which I once thought of as being in ruins, can still become rewarding. Not only did she give me this great news but we watched a movie together and just enjoyed that kind of repartee that you can't fake. It's what I always wanted - what I ached for - to have them enjoy spending time with me. Not just to have the duty visits, you know?

When my children saw me change my responses and quit being a drama queen, it encouraged them to believe they could also have happiness and joy despite having that mean kind of father (or that crazy kind of religious mother for that matter).

It took time, but most of them respect me now. This was not always true. This youngest daughter at one time decided her life was better without me in it and I wept like it was a death.

So there's hope!

Anagrammy

this is why you such a sage lady now!! :)

anagrammy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So--I must confess to feeling the warm glow of the
> Holy Spirit of satisfaction in my chest as this
> karma plays out. The "new" child, the male bearer
> of his DNA and his values, is being lead out of
> Mormonism by the little girl he discarded.

is still a jerk, and is seen by all as a jerk. There is nothing mysterious about that. And it must be gratifying as all get out to know that everyone now sees what you found so obvious many years ago.

No one here doubts that he drove his son away, and I'd be surprised if his other 2 kids don't follow.

Thank goodness they have siblings to talk to about it, and share stories. For me, that was the best path to getting free of all the anger.

Heartbreaking and so glad you've come to a much better place in life. I don't know if there's any legal cruelty worse than what your ex did to your children.

Where does he live? Can I go kick his nuts up around his earlobes?

Ron

Some of you know that one of my sons did time at Point of the Mountain for drug sales. When he got out, he heard what my husband had done to his little brother (another horror story that ended with a gory suicide attempt and a psychotic break--he is disabled to this day but has leveled out now and is a high-functioning schizophrenic/bi-polar adult).

He asked me to drive over to the Mormon Monster's home in Orem. We parked in front where their matching SUV's sat in the driveway of a lovely home- a virtual duplicate of the one we lived where my sons endured so much abuse.

In a matter of fact tone, he turned to me and said, "Aren't you going to court with him soon?" I answered "yes." He told me that in prison he had learned how to kill a person without using a weapon of any kind and he offered to kill him as retaliation for all he had done. Not responding to the look of horror on my face, he went on to show me how a strong man like him could form his hand into a "fist blade" and punch through the abdominal muscles of a grossly obese person like my ex and pull out his intestines. "Then," he added, smiling, "you get the added benefit of seeing him know he is dying while you watch."

I choked out a "Nah--he's not worth the trouble." When I got home I postponed the hearing in case one of the kids might have told him when it was. I wanted to warn my ex-husband in case my son decided to carry out his plan now that he knew where he lived, but realized that he would have taken my warning as a threat on his life.

Worse yet-- if anything criminal ever DID happen to him, I would be the first person they would investigate.


Anagrammy

I hope your son is feeling better now, though. (And thank goodness he ASKED you instead of just acting out on his feelings.)

It is chilling when you are offered a 'death solution" to horrible in-law by one of your children. (In this case, a step in-law to my child). "They could never find the body Mom."
Knowing my child, they were right. But I thanked them for not doing in the person, it made my life a lot easier, even though I lost over $25,000 worth of household goods and my income? Well, it was reduced from $2900 a month to $1000 to support four children and my self after we were forced to move out of state.

The old coot is still alive, but they can't make trouble for my family anymore! Besides that, they're very old and their stints should be rotting out any day now.... : D!

That is so awesome! It must feel great.

Actually, Henry VIII probably had more consideration for his daughters Mary and Elizabeth. Of course his wives had a tougher time of it.

May I just add....serving in the USCG vs. "serving" a mission? Absolutely!!