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Posted by: Anon this time ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 03:01AM

Sacrament meeting took a wild turn for the worse today. I've been thinking about it all afternoon, trying to decide whether to post or not.

It was high council Sunday, and the last talk was given by a very prominent, wait for it......, dentist! He is our family dentist. And now I wish I hadn't given him a lick of my money. Ever.

Over the pulpit he declared:

1) That Bill Handel on KFI is an idiot. Entertaining, but an idiot. Because of his opinions about Mormons baptizing the dead.

2) That there are four things we can do to help our friends understand that we don't actually "baptize dead people". He then told a cute (?) story about how his kid took a tour of an undedicated temple once, and declared, "when I die, Dad, I want to get baptized here". Which I thought was actually kind of funny, because it proved his point about what others think about the strange practice.

3) That we should tell our friends we DON'T baptize dead people. As in corpses. He never said one word about the fact that they DO baptize dead people by proxy. Totally glossed that one over.

4) Equated all media to be the same as the National Enquirer, and admitted that he reads all the headlines while standing at the grocery. He relayed a headline he had seen, saying Romney was in the middle of a cheating scandal by his wife. Turns out, Romney's wife dated someone else while he served his mission. His point being that all media "twists things around", furthering his point that the media had somehow twisted the baptism for the dead practice.

At this point, I'm absolutely squirming, and trying desperately not to get up and walk out. Part of me wants to stay and hear the gobbledy gook spewing out of his piehole, and the other part wants to stand up and give a rebuttal, and another part wants to bail. I stayed. For the grand finale.

He went on to say how ridiculous it was that people are angered that Simon Weisenthal's parents have been baptized posthumously.

He said this, "The practice of baptism for the dead is a New Testament ordinance" and went on to essentially say that that is what we are supposed to tell people who question it.


I was livid. Absolutely livid.

This is a last ditch campaign over the pulpit for romney, and complete declaration of pompous ignorance on behalf of someone who calls himself a "leader". UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!

So later, I'm thinking, how outraged would the Mormons be, if say, the Jewish faith had some sort of similar ceremony, and took it upon themselves to dunk Joseph's Smiths parents? And then said, "oh well, it's an ordinance done in the Torah". Hm. Interesting perspective isn't it?

I have an appointment with my bishop. I was supposed to see him today, but something came up. I will no doubt, be calling out the laughing stock of high councilmen. He should be ashamed of himself. If I was the only one in the room offended on behalf of all Jews, I'd be surprised. But then again, I might stand alone in my dissent.

Thanks for listening.

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Posted by: Carol Y. ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 03:11AM

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Posted by: dk ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 03:14AM

just in case they didn't have a chance to come out of the closet while alive.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 12:07PM

So that when I make it to the CK, which I'm sure to do, I won't have to pop out a bazillion kids.

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Posted by: Anon this time ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 03:17AM

I will myself. But one kid is in braces, and is nearly paid for. Still have a year or so to go till kid is out. Can't switch him at this point. :/

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Posted by: Ragnar ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 08:06AM

I love Bill Handel's "Handel on the Law" show. Unfortunately, our local station pre-empts him most Saturdays for hours-long sports pre-game shows.

One could always bust out laughing during such nonsense talks. I think that's more effective than walking out.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 09:00AM

I love how mormons have usurped and totally taken 1 Corinthians 15:29 out of context. They quote that scripture as a stand alone, and just because those words are mentioned, that's their entire justification for dead dunking.

Any non-mormon Bible scholar (not there there are really any mormon Bible scholars) will tell you that Paul is not condoning baptism for the dead. He is giving a discourse about the resurection of Christ. He refers to a pagan sect in Ephesus that baptizes the dead (dunks dead bodies to give them a better afterlife) and is basically saying, "see, even THEY believe in the resurection. Why would they do that if the dead don't rise?. He goes on to say that he could go there and fight wild beasts and if he didn't believe in the resurection, as they do, they'd have an "eat, drink and be merry" outlook. He was not referring to that practice being Christian, by any stretch of the imagination.

It would be like the gospel of NormaRae saying:

1. Murder is the worst societal problem.
2. Why do people murder other people?
3. No matter what, we will all die someday.

And then having someone take verse 2 out of context and say, "NormaRae condones murder. Otherwise, why would she talk about people doing it?"

But any Sunday School class or BYU religion class will discuss 1 Corinthians chapter 15 in depth and STILL fit their warped translation of it in so that they can justify dead dunking. And no mormon ever thinks to question it and go, "wait a minute, that makes no sense when you take the whole thing in context."

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Posted by: Chicken'n'Backpacks ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 12:51PM

Handel is supposed to be the idiot--it's his crew that's funny (Hoffman is a genius). He plays the part of the part of the stupid boss who has the power but not the brains. When he does "serious" commentary, he usually gets it right.

Anyway, am I the only one who thinks that the LDS tries to claim the "jewish thing"? Back in the '70's after my brother got baptized, he tried to make it seem like mormons were really the "American jews"--a small sect hat were just doing their thing and were mercilessly persecuted because they were god's chosen people. I seem to recall a heavy identity that basically said "Hey, Jews, we came from Israel, we're the real original God people, just like you!"

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Posted by: hello ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 01:11PM

> So later, I'm thinking, how outraged would the
> Mormons be, if say, the Jewish faith had some sort
> of similar ceremony, and took it upon themselves
> to dunk Joseph's Smiths parents? And then said,
> "oh well, it's an ordinance done in the Torah".
> Hm. Interesting perspective isn't it?

Yeah, if the tables were turned in this sitch today, the Jews would just call the Mos anti-semites for complaining, and the Mos would have to shut up. ;)

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 01:20PM

I'm considering 'joining' your faith; pls tell me:

- is tithing a REQUIREMENT?

- can I still be a practicing naturist/nudist?

faithfully yours, GNPE

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Posted by: rodolfo ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 01:50PM

Surely you know that faithful mormons are meeting to practice living in ways that mirror the garden of eden so that when they get to Jackson County (since there are no trees), they will not be uncomfortable in their pre-earth, perfect state sans clothing.

Each of you bow your head and look away!

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 01:25PM

Allow me to go on the record as saying how ridiculous it is that Mormons get all butt-hurt when their assinine religious rituals are exposed to the world.

Or, everyone could grant others the dignity of their own feelings.

Nah, what am I saying? It IS ridiculous that Mormons are offended by others mocking their sacred practices. Just like it's ridiculous that Mormons mock the faith of others by baptizing them by proxy after they're dead.

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Posted by: vulturetamer ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 02:53PM

You guys......I can't believe I didn't include one of the moat stunning admissions I've ever heard over the pulpit! During the same talk, this man addressed the issue of cults. He said, "people think we are a cult. Yes we are a cult. A cult is any group of people with the same beliefs". Yep. Well, at least there's some honesty there. I guess we are supposed to admit that to our friends along with the fact that we don't baptize corpses and that Jews should just get over ut because its a new testament ordinance. That wiill make mormins seems so much less weird, right? This guy was all over the place. Do u know how tempted I was to hit the "record" button on my phone yesterday? I was thinking about all y'all.

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Posted by: vulturetamer ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 02:55PM

Forgive the typos, I'm on my phone. And I guess now you know I was the OP. Forgot to log out of my phone. Don't tell the bishop, k? ;)

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Posted by: Mia ( )
Date: February 20, 2012 05:40PM

I thought it was funny that he gets his news reading the headlines at the checkout in the grocery store.

That's where all the sensational rags stage their wares.
If thats what he thinks is the real world, he is hopelessly delusional. I guess it's no worse than reading the BoM and BoA for your spiritual guidance and information. Same thing.

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