I am over 24 and single. I take my brother to church when I can to help my parents out, and because they help me out with my car. However, for quite sometime, I don't think I really believe in it much. I believe in God and Jesus, but beyond that? Yeah...not so much.

I don't agree with the political and social views of the church or the people in church. While I've been a member all my life, I'm not sure I've really ever fit in. I don't really know if I've believed in it, or if I just did what I was told.

Now that I am more critical, when I go, I hear little things each week that unnerve me. Can I keep up with this? Should I try to make more of an effort to believe one way or another?

You are now an adult and can begin to make adult choices. That includes your choice of church or no church at all.

This is a good time for you to be thinking about it because you are still single. You will want to get this figured out before you marry.

There are other Christian churches out there where you could continue to believe in God and Jesus. They would not be so demanding of your time, money and efforts. You might find one that is politically and socially more in tune with your views. You can visit these churches freely and no one will come knocking on your door or put pressure on you to join.

Or you could make the decision to be nonreligious. Many people do this. My brother and his wife raised their children outside of a church, and the children (now grown) have done just fine.

Know that this is your life that you will want to live in a way that is pleasing to you. Your ancestors and your parents got to make their own choices, and now it's your turn. Don't live someone else's life. Have the courage to live your own!

No totally. My current plan is to not have a religion. But I might consider trying to find a church like that. I think it might be helpful for me. Thank you!

I am not sure. I am prompted to ask, where the hell have you been all your life.

Did you ever pay any attention to church while you were there?

Or just accept it, regardless of how dumb it sounded at the time.

NOW you are coming across one or a few things that sound "off"?

For cripes sakes, don't start trying to make emotional judgements on the information you are getting right now. Either way - accept or reject- you will have to make judgements on the foundational material of the church. You will need to do your homework

You must start at the start - either way - making your trip into apostasy or True belief.

1) You must know all there is to know about the first visions (all 7 or 8 of them)

2) You must know all about the smith family before and after the angelic visitations (gold digging and the like) - and Emma Hales's Dad's opinion on JS. Also the long-standing occult practices of the Smiths, and JS in particular (Bainbridge trial being important).

3) An understanding of the situation as regards Martin Harris would be good. JS needed money for publication. MH had a farm he could mortgage. The southpark boys depict this best.The financial history of the early church is illuminating.

4) Next a comparison of what JS said in public on "marriage", and what he and his closet cronies actually practiced. George Smith's "Nauvoo Polygamy" covers this best. Basically:

a. Joseph Smith was an ephebophile (check this out on LDS familysearch)
b. Joseph Smith pactised and condoned polygyny (check this out on LDS familsearch) As part of his cover for this "plural wives" would remain living with their original husbands (that they had before JS claimed them).
c. Joseph Smith laid the ground work for later covetousness jealousy, murder, castration - in plenty - in Utah.
d. Joseph Smith bequeathed his plural wives to several other high-ranking priesthood men - regardless of the fact that some had actual living husbands, married in the LDS church, when JS died. One particular wife, Zina Huntingdon, was living with her original husband when JS died. Brigham turfed him out, sent him n a mission, bred several kids by her, and left poor Jacob to mourn the loss of his wife for the rest of his life. (familysearch again)

This is just a mere fragment of church history

You may believe in God and Jesus, but do they believe in this!

You can't just believe in a little bit of Mormonism - Ooohhh say families are together forever. And gloss over year 14 year old Helen Mar Kimball being tricked into marrying JS (She later said she thought it was a dynastic marriage, or in name only,other wise she would never have agreed). She basically described statutory rape. Even in jurisdictions that did allow young marriages (usually the bride and groom wee fairly close in age), there have always been prohibitions against entering into marriage on the basis of deceit. It would appear highly likely that Helen Mar Kimball was deceived as to the legality of a bigamous marriage (never legal in Nauvoo)

spanner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am not sure. I am prompted to ask, where the
> hell have you been all your life.
>
> Did you ever pay any attention to church while you
> were there?
>
> Or just accept it, regardless of how dumb it
> sounded at the time.
>
> NOW you are coming across one or a few things that
> sound "off"?


Haha yeah, I will be the first to admit I have many a issue when it comes to having my own opinions and being my own person. It's something I'm trying hard to over come, because it has effected my entire life. I thankfully have two great friends/roommates that had were kind enough to tell me how messed up I was.

When I was at church, I had tended to either not listen, or just pretend everything was right. I never had many friends (Inside or outside) growing up. I had no reason to doubt what my church leaders or parents told me. And it had benefits! We were poor and we didn't go any places or do fun things, but at least I had church activities and temple trips. I found myself in recent years thinking about and realizing that I didn't have much solid beliefs in the church. I just...liked doing stuff.

Thank you so so much for replying to me. Your comments are extremely helpful. I've heard bits and pieces of the church history issues, and I plan on trying to do some reading and comparing. I think I did take issue with things when I was younger, but because I'm not the most outspoken person, I just didn't bring it up with anyone. I actually remember a couple of Sundays ago, during our RS lesson, a girl asked "When I was younger, I was always told to stop asking so many questions in church. Why is that?" I honestly don't remember the answer because it was so contrived and awkwardly phrased that it just...seemed like they didn't know either.

So yes, plan on trying to find some good books and such. Do you (or anyone) have any good recs?

It is NEVER a bad thing to be true to yourself and live an authentic life. But it can be very difficult and painful to start the process! You have it in you to start even if you dont realize it at the moment! I can tell you it is worth it!

Welcome to the board. I take it you are a female?

Glad you did not fall into the trap of too early marriage and children.

Mormonism is a crock.

Oh, and start dating nevermos. That's my 2 cents of advise for the day LoL.

You are correct in assume I am female! I've only had two bf really and neither were LDS. (I know...I'm kind of a loser. I'll admit it.) When I was younger, it bugged me that guys in the church had no interest in me. But I learned that despite what ever they tell you about how Mormons are suppose to be better than nonmos is pretty much the worst bs ever. I actually feel like guys I would talk to at church were MORE superficial than those outside. But smack the words "RM" and "Priesthood holder" and suddenly they are totally great guys. So after a while, I dropped any sort of activity meant to find me a mate. Because not only are they creepy, but it always seemed pointless to me.

But yes, I thought the idea to rush to get married and pop out kids was...not right. I knew several girls around my age that did so, and for several of them it didn't turn out so well. If anything, that is one of my recent qualms with the church. I'm tired of going to RS meeting each week with great, successful, and kind women, who all seem to think less of themselves because they haven't got hitched yet. It seems we have a lesson every other week telling us IT'S OKAY YOU ARE SINGLE!

You have to want to believe or not believe...and that means study on your part. We can't help there unless you need sources.I am glad you are helping your brother since your parents are helping you. But soon the real adult YOU must take over and be honest. Let your family know soon what your decision is and begin living the life you really want. It seems you have had many doubts for a long time. I can't imagine going through the motions much longer.

Be sure you can face the fact that you may lose friends who have been close if you leave, but not because you want to lose them. Many will choose to flee from you if you give up Mormonism. And then you will know you surely did the right thing. They were never real friends and only liked you because you were part of their club. Good luck as you sort this out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2012 09:20PM by honestone.

No you are right. In terms of friends in the church...I am worried about how people will treat me, but honestly, I don't have anyone I am super close to. It's just been like that for me.

Thank you for the advice. I really plan on taking it to heart. And yes, I am open to recs for good materials on the subject!