So my inactive father got a call the other day to help out with a woman in the ward who is moving. He was on the bottom of the list of people to call. They didn't even thank him! If they couldn't reach him in time, a thank you card would be nice!

Do they grow up thinking things will just be taken care of because you're mormon and you get special treatment?? Even when I was mormon, I knew when to say thank you, especially after doing such a big favor for someone that you don't even associate with!!

This has happened many times to my family as well, when we were moving, and people from church would come to help. Some of the people would complain about being there and say that they had a meeting or something to go to. Well if you have a meeting, then why did you even offer to help in the first place?!

Mormons don't understand the true meaning of "service". Their definition of service is doing something that you're told to do just to get checked off.

By their fruits, ye shall know them!

When I was about 7, my mother made a dinner for someone.
After delivering it she came home and complained about it for days afterward. She was very resentful.
For some reason I never forgot that. It's better to say no than to say yes and be resentful. Resentment undoes the good you may have done. I learned from that experience. Sadly she didn't.

So true! I want to be appreciated for my work and not just be taken advantage of, just because I'm available.

Yeah. I've got a doubting Catholic neighbor that's so generous to my family that I constantly try to come up with ways to reciprocate. Yesterday, she invited my husband to their Superbowl party (I wasn't home). He declined. He hates football (he was an offensive lineman in high school and all of the new information about sub-concussive injuries' got him shaking in his shoes). Anyway, she brought over a load of Superbowl party treats that he could enjoy NOT watching the game! That attitude of hers makes you WANT to do things for her. Sincerity makes all the difference.

We all want a good neighbor like that!

I've asked friends and co-workers for help moving and pro provided beer. No complaints like you gwt from mormons.

That's so true, my TBM ex-husband seemed to think that "thank you" were bad words, since he never once said that to anyone, and didn't understand why I was sending out the thank you cards for the wedding gifts. I know I shocked his extended family by sending them a card since it was the first time they received one. His mom was also the same way, she never taught him those words at all, as she never said "thank you" at all.

I agree. The church harps on "assignment" which always trumps the need for common courtesy on the part of the giver or the receiver. I remember so many instances where service was rendered, but it was not acknowledged. When service is considred an assignment, you have to wonder who is really doing it out of love, empathy, or compassion.

And no matter how much you do, hardly anyone says thank-you. Members of the church have been conditioned to expect certain things without acknowledging the sacrifice it took to give it. That whole consecration thing has been embedded into a great majority of some members and it truly suffocates normal interpersonal behavior.

When i was pregnant with my 5 yr old, i was very sick. A few brought meals over, 1 brought flowers. I gave each one a handwritten thank you card with some Christmas chocolates when i got better. I think thank you notes are just polite behavior as those sisters went out of their way to do something nice.

Some other sisters also wrote thank you cards to me for things i had done.

Maybe it's a cultural utah thing to not do thank you cards.

More likely it's a morridor thing...where there's high concentrations of LDS.
We grew up Mormon, but in the south. You got a thank-you note for nearly anything you did that required you to leave your house!
Out here, you could give someone cpr and they'd probably just bitch at you for inappropriate conduct!

When my SIL moved to Georgia, I gave her a copy of "The Southern Belle Handbook". It said that prompt thank you notes are so expected, that savvy guests will bring a blank card to a party, write it in the bathroom, and mail it on the way home--just so they are very prompt in thanking the hostess for inviting them.

I found the image of a woman, dressed for a party, writing a note on her knee while she sat on the toilet, so funny that I never forgot it.

A single, middle-aged TBM woman once told me that the main reason she was LDS was because she didn't have the money, time or incentive to do various repairs around her house, car repairs, moving, etc. She told me all she had to do was pick up her phone and the church would send over someone to fix her plumbing, put on a new roof, etc. at no charge. She was so proud of herself. This was at a garage sale we were having and she asked for everything free because she was LDS.

My former TBM mother had a huge moving sale and LDS showed up. Honestly, it was like locusts converging on the place. They demanded fine furniture and high quality items for free or greatly reduced. They actually would say they were LDS and they expected these items to be handed over to them for nothing. My mother was afraid to say no and I told them to get lost. Another woman, whose husband was the bishop, took $200.00 worth of things and told my mother she'd pay her the next day. She did not pay after many phone calls, e-mails and certified letters to her. They had all kinds of money and she drove a brand new Mercedes.

At another garage sale my mother had, mom marked down an already reasonably priced stereo for a teenage kid in her ward. He said he'd be back to pay her and he never did. Ever. Even after mom talked to the kids dad, they never paid.

During the past year, we had about 5 huge moving sales at my elderly mom's house. We had some druggie types, every race of human beings imaginable, very poor people and guess what? The rudest, most demanding, most obnoxious people were the MORmONS. Everyone else was lovely and respectful. I kid you not. We were expected to give lovely items for free or greatly reduce the already good prices. We were not paid for a number of items and some of them who did pay gave us checks that bounced. We took checks from everyone who wanted to write one and no one else bounced a check but some of the MORmONS. They are absolutely the worst when it comes to laziness and freebies.

We freely have given free items to folks who are humble and want to pay. But sometimes you can tell they are very poor and so we just give the item(s) to them. It's makes their day and ours too to be able to make someone happy. I told my mother that if we have anymore garage sales that MORmONS will be charged double!

One last thing, my mother had mentioned to a MORmON friend of hers about our numerous, future moving/garage sales and told her not to tell any MORmONS. The "friend" did anyway. So, we had the sale scheduled from 9am to 4pm. The day of the first sale, mom and I were setting up and I went to the car to go and put signs up. A huge group of MORmoN's showed up at 8am pushed their way into the house when we weren't ready. It was total chaos. There must have been 80 people there! Regular folks that had waited until the 9am opening were ticked off that things they had wanted had sold before the official opening. This was in CA, can't imagine what it would be like in Utah.

In my part of the world, there are professional garage sale pickers who will show up hours early to pick through and get the good stuff. I had a friend who runs an antique shop who does this. She once asked me to go to a garage sale with her at 2:30 in the morning because that's when she'd made an appointment! I told her that no amount of junk was worth that to me and wished her good luck treasure hunting.

We also have professional garage sale people in our area. However, the MORMoNS that crashed our garage sale were known to us. It was a small town, rural area where everyone knows everyone. Frankly, the MORMoNS were worse than the most obnoxious, demanding professional garage sale folks that we have encountered through the years in a different county.

When my mother died and I was put in foster care, the branch president and RS president descended on my house and took what they wanted, including my father's power tools, darkroom equipment, and guns. (My father was living in a half-way house due to his own problems.) I still have a couple of items that seemingly no one wanted.

One of the things that has always disturbed me the most about observant Mormons is how dishonest at heart they have to be to make their religion work. Mostly they lie to themselves, but they are forced to lie to Mormons and outsiders alike--"lying for the Lord," as usual. But the willingness of so many to steal from others is really amazing. I guess one form of dishonesty sometimes begets another form.

I was a fifth generation Mormon. My family history was edited and I was told lies about my "holy Utah Pioneer Family". Eight family members "hand-carted" to Utah. Six said that "This religion is crap" and went to California. They were immediately removed from my family tree. I accidentally found out about the other six of them 60 years later. My holy Mormon brother will not eat at the same table as me and they shun me until there is work to be done or the others are "too busy" to help the elderly parents. This is often the case. It is one lie on top of another lie. I am glad to be free of it.

I have had numerous yard sales and people always try to haggle prices but I believe if you don't want to sell it for a low price tou just say, sorry no! Also you never give away an item without getting paid first unless it is someone you know and trust, even then you can say I can hold it till you get back! Is it just me or do you people not know how to run a yard sale?

:)

In other news, water is still wet.

Alright, I laughed at that.

I've had several ward members expect legal services for free. And then they act all confused and wounded when I tell them what my rate is. OR my in laws wanting me to fraudulently execute a document and then act all offended when I refuse. It really is astonishing they nerve they have.