Posted by:
Raptor Jesus
(
)
Date: February 28, 2012 02:20PM
So, last night I finally decided to nut up and post an update that Mrs. Raptor Jesus and I are getting a divorce.
I'm not sure why I've been avoiding the posting of that because this has been in the process for quite some time - but I had been avoiding it for whatever reason. Now that I've posted it and there was a great outpouring of support from the board - yea even great fucking outpouring of support - I guess I can ramble about the last few days.
It's odd how the divorce process comes with such waves of conflicting emotions. Sometimes happiness and freedom surges in like a tsunami of candy and butterfly kisses only to be replaced with a tidal wave of rotting corpses holding picket signs with discouraging phrases like, "You're such a fucking retard."
This morning at work was an overwhelming feeling of the latter, and I was tired of staring at my work computer in a depressed and slumped manner with my teeth hanging out like a dumb donkey, so I told my supervisor that, "[he] can suck my titties because I felt like processed, congealed pig diarrhea and was going home."
One of my two therapists (because I'm THAT fancy - to have TWO therapists right now) said that Mrs. Raptor and I needed to do "self soothing" activities right now during this difficult time. When the therapist said this this she specifically told MRJ that for MRJ that meant doing lots of yoga and being with friends. The therapist then looked at me with a blank stare as to the specifics of my "self soothing activities." But my brain filled in that blank stare with getting drunk, eating a box of E.L. Fudge stripe cookies for dinner, and playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for the 80th time.
Yesterday was a good day. I felt great in the morning and even had a check up appointment with Dr. Barbie. I was half paying attention to her as she talked about my new medication while the other half of my brain was thinking of all the amazing things I'd do to her hot body that she'd totally thank me for afterwards. And I even made an appointment for my second tattoo for two weeks from now.
But last night started to get a little tricky when a surge of corpses came in to grab my ankles and drag me down into the undertow. So, I drank enough to fall asleep and have dreams that I was a Jedi (thanks KOTOR) pushing people over with the Force and then shocking them with force lightning as they tried to stand up.
You know, good dreams instead of the nightmares where I'm stuck in church with my Mother-in-Law and I can't find anything sharp enough to stab myself with because the fucking church is too cheap to stock the church kitchens now.
But this morning, the soul crushing weight of dickface, insensitive-to-the-mentally-challenged corpses continued until I was sick of pretending to work and told my supervisor that I felt like canned "nacho cheese" and came home to get drunk at 11:00 in the morning, post on RfM, and then continue to try to get a Kathar Jedi to fall in love again with my female protagonist that I named "Dumb Whore."