After a long battle with cancer.

I was able to spend the last week caregiving for him, and it was wonderful.

And my heart is still breaking.

I have been a member Of this board for well over ten years and I rarely post anymore, though I check in every day.

I guess today I just need a hug.

I wish I could give you a big hug!!! I am so sorry. But how lucky that you were able to spend his last days with him...so many people don't get that chance. Always reflect on the wonderful times you had together and be grateful for the life that he lived:)

Hang in there!! I'll send all my positive thoughts your way.
xoxoxo Aj

I was my mom's caregiver in her last days, and as hard as it was, I found that after she died I missed taking care of her.

It's such a mix of feelings. Be very kind and good to yourself -- that's what your dad would want for you.

*Hugs* *Hugs* *Hugs*

sending out a virtual hug. my cats send out some purrs.

He lives on in your memories and we're also thinking of him with you today.

Take care.

I am so sorry. My condolences to you & your family. It is wonderful that you got to spend his last week together. The week before my Nana unexpectedly died, I was able to visit her every day. I hadn't been able to visit her very much the month prior with work commitments. I am so thankful that we got to spend that time together and it was a comfort during my grief.

*HUG*

My sincere condolences to you.

*ANOTHER HUG*

I can imagine how you're feeling. My Mother-in-law passed away on Feb. 26th and we cremated her yesterday.

Ever since I left the UK for France in 1983, she had been a very effective 'surrogate' mother to me. She was also one hell of a woman (French Resistance at 21, French prisons and then Ravensbruck concentration camp at 22) and a lifelong atheist who fought her whole life through for a better society and to keep the memory of the Camps alive, going into schools every week to tell her story.

She left us at 90, having refused food for three weeks (so it was clearly her choice of moment), surrounded by her kids and grandchildren, and topped up with morphine to keep the pain away. There are worse ways to go.

I'm glad for your sake you could be with him at the end. It's heart-wrenching but brings home the reality of it, making it easier to deal with afterwards.

They pass but they survive in our love for them.

Tom in Paris

Hug hug hug!

A newcomer to the forum, but my heart goes out to you, and to your family and those who knew him.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope the good memories help you in this difficult time.

I'm glad you came to the board where any sympathize with your loss. I wish you all the best at this time.

D

Many condolences to you. Take care.

Thinking of you and sending warm condolences. Take care of yourself.

Good thoughts for peace and comfort to you and to your family and loved ones. It is so wrenching to say good-bye to the people we love.

Please check in and let us know how you are doing.

Thoughts and prayers to you and yours....keep good thoughts of your Dad in your heart. As the days progress the pain will subside and be replaced with a continuing warmth whenever you think of him...

I lost both my parents 3 years ago in 2 months. It is a lot different than I ever thought it would be--and even 3 years later, I miss them every day.

It is really monumental to lose your Dad. Hits you harder than you ever imagined. Wishing you the best memories to get you through.

Hugs from here too. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

So sorry for your loss. Warm and comforting thoughts coming your way.

*Hugs* *Hugs* *Hugs*
I have lost my parents (to cancer and to long deterioration after a stroke) not that long ago so I can imagine very well how you feel. It was such a difficult feeling to accept when it hit me that I was an orphan even if I was already in my 30's.

I hope you have things and people that you enjoy to help you through this.

My dad passed away a little over 2 years ago after being very ill for about 10 years. When he passed I felt two emotions, relief for him to be finally free from his suffering, and pain of loss.

I know what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Hugs and warm wishes that you will heal from the loss and be able to hold to the good memories forever.

((((((((((((((((Nolongerin))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And many more. You will heal, time will help, as will lovely memories. Take care of yourself and remember where we are.

Briggy

And some more hugs for you . . .

My dad died about 10 years ago. It was too soon for me and a of hard thing to deal with. I do still though cherish the memory of him and the things he taught me as a parent.

Hoping you find peace soon.

and kisses if you are a woman... if you are a man...well man hugs<<:) :) :)>>

I'm so sorry for you. My dad died a few months back, it has affected me far greater than I had imagined. I find the grieving process to be a very non-linear process as I find myself moving back and forth between the stages.

I have found that being with my siblings, talking, laughing, and crying together to be very therapeutic.

I hope you are able to find support through this and make peace with his passing.

Condolences Nolongerin, that's a loss that really hurts. :-(
(((hug)))

So sorry for you loss, cherish the memories that you have.

Take care

((((Hugs))))

So sorry to hear your sad news, nolongerin.
I've lost both parents; it's quite a blow. I hope you have some help, comfort, and support from your loved ones at this time.
big hug,
~intellectualfeminist~

See- even people who don't know you surround you with love at this time. You are part of a large human family and also part of a tribe - the Exmormon Tribe. We understand your point of view and the pain of loss.

One way a person lives on is the way they have affected those closest to them. Your dad has influenced your thinking and you, in turn, will pass that influence on through your children. It's a gift to the human race, through you.

Be sure and write down your best memories in a separate journal to leave for your descendants. It's good therapy for you and will be precious to your children and grandchildren.

Hugs and light to you, friend, and continue visiting us here. Maybe you could post, if you feel like, and let us know how you are doing.

Best

Anagrammy

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. We all wish we could supply "real" hugs at a time like this. But know that we grieve with you and pray for your memories of your Dad to grow in joy over time.

I'm so very sorry- it hurts badly, I know. Many hugs to you, and wishes for peace for you.

Big hug from me and mine. We just lost my FIL.

My sincerest condolences Nolongerin.

I envy your time with him at the end. As my father was wasting away from Alzheimers, I was in an opiated fog and never got to say goodbye.

I know it hurts, but treasure that caregiving time.

People are easily lost to history, and time.

Condolences, Nolongerin.

So sorry.

It was good of you to be a caretaker for him. I know that can be very hard.

I'm sure it meant a lot to him and you can know you did your best for your dad. Treasure the memories. I'm glad he had you to help him. He was a lucky dad.

I want to hug you friend. please take care of yourself, that's what your dad would want. if you believe in after life, his mind is still alive and thinking and wants you to have the best and be happy. peace

My deepest sympathy and many hugs. I lost my dad and was able to be with him the last 5 days as well. I am sure your DAD knew that it was a special time for you to share it with him. I hope he could communicate some ( did not hav etime to read all the posts). Take care and carry with you all the memories that make you smile and not the sadder ones.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad.But how wonderful that you had such a special relationship with him.
HUGS! HUGS! HUGS!

So sorry for your loss...there just aren't words enough.

I'm so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

My deepest sympathy... I hope the wonderful memories bring you comfort.

I'm sorry for your loss. Best of wishes for you and your family. Jim

my dad is on his way out also, an atheist to the core and hard man to his death and nothing I ever do is right. But Hey he taught me honesty. A few mates of mine that lived in my house recently knew them all my life, left with stealing stuff and say they accidently swooped it up shifting but cant find it nor return it.. dad is right, theives are loosers...

Honesty is the best policy dad said..

All good honest misled dads the lds church say will go to terrestial kingdom. fuck lds threats...

Dad never had a father who was killed in bike accident in drunkedness when he was 3 year old. He raized his own mother
and supported her like an old man boy he was.
He met my mother and was faithful for life and still is.

He thinks the old fear and guilt to stay in a mierable sexless marrige to a good woman than devoice. I am still in such a marrige but have a mother of child out of this marrige with child and that is sorted out and my happiness a little dark
to choose old fashion advice from dad. But tradition and bonds must be important if we miss them when they die.

as you miss you dad, he must be right about some things
even if its not right to either god or not, DAD is DAD.
Remember the mormon dad with his private parts and lots of wives etc only wants mormons in his heaven.
Go to gran par essence god of spirit the bible says, who
does not require temple ordinances to be in heaven.
Any heaven outside of mormonism is damnation to mormons
and sexless also...

dad of lds or dad of athiest or whatever, dad is dad..
bless his soul....Whats a funeral if no one prayers over the dead....

he deserves some love especially from a son...

Larry.

So sorry to hear.

I wish I could give you a real hug and not a virtual one.

I know there are no words to help ease the pain...everything sounds so hollow...

So put you arms around yourself...that is me hugging you...

I'm sending my thoughts and love your way

Mine died a few years ago, right about the time I left the church. During that depressing time I was taking Lysinopril - a mild antidepressant. It took my emotions from me and I could feel no sorrow or shed a tear for him. My emotions are back, so I'll shed a tear for your dad instead and wish you a speedy recovery from your loss.

Take care.

Sorry for your loss...mine died when I was 15. But at least our whole family got to be with him in the end. All that got me through was to remember he's not suffering anymore. -Hugs-

Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself and allow others to be there for you during this time of grief. I send you big hugs from this Mex Mom.

Hugs,Love & Light in your time of loss and reflection.

so I'm glad this thread is still open. I'm glad you posted, so you can realize that people all over the world share your sadness and wish you well!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2012 02:36PM by Adult of god.

I lost my dad in 1987. He was Mormon to the core and the kindest person I've ever known. Still miss him.

We're here for you.