I could understand the dad's frustration.

Would the reaction to the video have been as extreme if he had dropped a cinder block on the computer or run it over with a vehicle? Or dropped it off a bridge?

Was it the gun or the destruction that got to people? I saw one comment that guns are not the way to solve problems. Except the gun was not the solution, it was just the way to destroy the computer.

I never felt that he was in any way violent to his daughter. Or would be violent to her. The gun was just a way of destoying the computer.

I know parents who have thrown out a child's toy after repeated warnings to put it away. Is the destruction of toy by throwing it in the trash any different than actively destorying it?

When the father described the girls actual chores as compared to her tales of near slavery, the girl did come of as a lazy whiner.

He obviously bought the computer, it WAS his to dispose of as he saw fit.

So for those who objected to the video would you have had a different reaction if he didn't use a gun to destory the computer?

Theres better ways than shooting her laptop on a vidiio showing all her friends. Confronting her would have done it there may be family problems he's unaware of. I often find that families that do this sort of thing have problems thats not always obvious. And truthefly yeah if he'd used some other method then yes it would have given a diffrent reaction. Smashing it with a hammer well thats bad but kid goes up against hammer dad kid can kick him in the balls. Kid goes up against throwing over a bridge dad the kid can swim. Shoot the anoying thing with a gun dad the kid has no escape.

The dad showd he is angry enough to use a gun on a computer not talk to his doughter and just come to conclutions without listneing to her.

What happens if her mother is telling her to do a heap of extra stuff? trying to vent got her computer shot up maybe in her mind talking to her dad might get her shot up.

But in no way did he threaten his daughter physically. That is the leap I don't get. Yes he was angry but just because you raise your voice does not mean you beat someone to death. Many people argue with raised voices but would never hit another person.

He used a gun to destory the object not to threaten his daughter.

So if he dropped the computer off a bridge then that meant that he would drop his daughter off a bridge? Or if he used a hammer on a computer then he would use a hammer on her?

You make a knee jerk association that does not make sense.

One poster said that he told his son that he would saw his bike in half if he continued to light piles of leaves on fire. The kid did it again and he took a saw to the bike. Does that mean he would take a saw to his kid? I don't think so.

The destruction and removal of the object was the objective.

...the gun, the destruction of a decent, working computer, and then putting it on YouTube. All three smack of immaturity to me.

Was the daughter in the wrong? From what the man was saying, yes. However you don't help a child to mature by modeling immature behavior. My feeling is that there is probably a very odd dynamic going on within that family.

The father could have accompanied his daughter as she donated the computer to a school. It would have taught the same lesson to her, and added a lesson in charity besides.

As many of you know, I am an urban teacher. I don't currently have a working computer in my classroom for the kids to use or for myself to use for that matter. I don't have a laptop that I can hook up to my projector in order to show instructional videos or pull lessons off of the web. I don't even have a projector full time -- the teachers have to share projectors. It's like trying to teach modern children with stone age tools.

So I cringed when I saw that computer destroyed. Yes, it was the man's to do with as he pleased, but it was like watching good food thrown away in front of a starving person. His actions demonstrated a lack of respect for a valuable resource.

+1. I don't think he was violent t oward his daughter, but he was immature and he did publically humiliate her. I also thought it was wrong to destroy a valuable piece of equipment. It would have been better to donate it. What a waste.The daughter was out of line and I would have been angry too, but there are better ways to discipline a child than destroying valuable property and using public humiliation



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2012 08:53AM by bona dea.

It's easy to do when raising kids but not a good idea.

He was upset because she made bad statements about her parents in public. Yet his reaction to punish her was done in the absolute most public way.

This is a situation that should have happened behind closed doors in the privacy of the home. People have a tendency to put everything in a private family life in the open for the world to judge. It does have disasterous results.

Yes a computer could have been put to better use by both parties. I hope the one thing that people take from this incident is to slow down a little before coming up with the really bad idea of making private family squabbles the attention of the world.

He just did it for internet fame. For all we know, it was his old laptop that had stopped working, or a floor model from a store that was missing it's internal parts. Don't give him attention and he will go away.

I agree. This whole thing has pretty much blown over now. The guy got his 15 minutes of fame and apparently raised some money for muscular dystrophy.

The issue I had. He was an IT guy and built that laptop for his kid for a few hundred bucks. So it was HIS possession to destroy if he wanted. But then he charged his daughter $300 for the destroyed property. If it was her responsibility to pay for the laptop, then he had no business destroying it. If it was his property and it was his decision to destroy the laptop, then he had no business charging her for it.

That's what pisses me off. It's something my dad would do: wreck his own car to make a point and then make me pay for the repairs. Hey, creep, it's YOUR possession.

I don't care how he destroyed the computer, if he paid for it originally, then it was his to destroy, but it's over the top to expect the kid to reimburse him. If she paid for it originally, then it's over the top for him to have destroyed it.

I think there were probably a dozen other ways to get the point across that she was just being a whiny teenager and doesn't have it so bad at all. He's setting a fine example of being a drama llama and blowing stuff way out of proportion. Also: has dad forgotten what it's like to be 15? Adults do sometimes. He has no compassion whatsoever for a kid who feels like she does too many chores? Kids complain. That's what teenagers do. I don't think she did anything so outrageous that warrants such an over the top reaction. The punishment does not fit the crime, IMO.

You're right, he shouldn't make her pay for his cost in destroying his items.

But she didn't just "complain" -- she blocked them and then posted a letter as though it was directed at them. Yeah, kids complain but she was pretty rude and disrespectful on top of that. Hopefully she's learned a lesson now about discretion. (I imagine he has as well after that backlash.)

I wasn't keen on him destroying a valuable piece of equipment, even though it really was his to do with what he wanted. But I think equating the fact that he shot a computer with a threat to shoot his daughter is kind of scary thinking on the part of those who come up with that concept. Maybe it's because I grew up around guns and don't find them "scary". They're just another tool -- like a hammer.

Did you see what she posted? It was just a rant about all the chores she had to do. She'd blocked all her family from her posts except for the family DOG. The dad was also friends with the dog's FB page and that's how he saw the post.

I don't even have as much problem with the dad posting YouTube video, but I agree it's a bit immature to stoop to a teenager's level to try to make a point about respect. Ghandi said "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." So I think there was probably a better way to make the point.

Also, kids these days are used to not having privacy and don't think a thing of their entire lives being on display online for the world to see. I doubt she was as humiliated by Dad's video as he meant her to be. She's probably a rock star at school now because of it.

He has a right to dispose of this property any way he likes, but there e are mature ways of doing it. This remeinded me of someone taking a sldge hammer to his kid's car because he broke a rule. Big waste of property an a childish way of handling things. Adults should act like adults instead of acting like the kid.

was I was totally against what he did. He was on the Today show the other morning when my TBM daughter was here. She thought he was correct in what he did. IF I HAD EVER DONE THAT TO MY KIDS--oh my hell--the backlash would have been ginormous!!!

I talked to her about it and said--to publicly humiliate her was stupid AND I purposely am not on facebook for many reasons, but one is that I feel my kids have a right to privacy. My daughter has actually left her journal on my bed for me to read once and I DID NOT LIKE what she said about me and did I go off on her? No. I realized she is the child and I am the adult. It hurt--and many things my kids have done have hurt.

BUT I can also say--a computer is the way I make my living and there were many times in really bad years that my computers were broken and I couldn't work. If someone had given me a computer or fixed mine, things could have been a lot different. It was wasteful of him to do that--and he was acting no different than his own child. Throwing a temper tantrum. For hell sakes--act like an adult--be the parent.

Why is this an issue ?

Dave: No idea. Why it's a postmo/exmo issue.

He had a traumatic brain injury and was verbally gifted at the same time. He is the one who in conference a teacher said "I have never hated a student before this child" and I completely understood. I love my son but he is so different it was almost impossible to disceplen him. And he could out maneuver myself and his teachers verbally..... he would pull the rug out from under you. Taking things away did not work. What worked best with him was a suggestion I got from a counselor. To have a phone conversation in earshot with a friend about what he was putting me through. It is a little like the YouTube antic only an audience of 2 (my son and his uncle whose opinion he valued). I was uncomfortable at first doing it because I am private. As a single mom whose exhusband was not in my sons life since he was mentally ill and chose homelessness I was very glad my brother in law was willing to listen.

On the other side of the coin my youngest son is 9 and so different -he disceplens himself almost too harshly. It has gotten to the point where I say to him- "Youre making a big deal over a little thing. I think I will tape your fit and put it on YouTube". I have taped a couple of them and played them back for him but never posted any. I think it has helped him see how silly it appears to spiral down the despair funnel over silly little things. And we are discussing appropriate uses for emotions now. If he needs to get his emotions under control he goes to his room for a few minutes. I think it helps that his father is in the home too. It has been nice to see him mature a lot recently and I am sure it has a lot to do with brain development. He has recently started showing thoughtfulness about the needs of others.

I guess I can understand what this father did. But at the same time I think it went too far. I suppose I might have to post a video of my son acting poorly because I said I would or he won't believe me but so far it has helped to show what other kids have up on the net to work as a behavior control.

It's a combination - the gun was out of line. Doesn't matter if it was used to destroy property or to threaten someone personally. It's irresponsible gun ownership, and it was used SPECIFICALLY to deter his daughter's behavior in a way that was completely unreasonable in comparison to what she did.

The public humilation was what REALLY bothered me, though. He complained about his daughter humilating him - in a filtered post - yet then decided to openly humilate her on the web for "punishment." So he uses completely public humilation to punish semi-private whinging. Gotcha.

It's pretty clear to see where she gets the behavior. She's going to learn it's wrong to humilate her parents when her father shows that it's a perfectly acceptable way to treat his daughter? Exactly what change is she going to do?

Throwing a toy in the trash is definitely much less threatening than using a deadly weapon to destroy the object. Absolutely. Throwing a toy in the trash would be akin to donating the laptop away (i.e. getting rid of it).

kestrafinn (not logged in) Wrote:
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> It's irresponsible gun ownership

I feel the same way. I grew up around guns, and I learned to treat them with respect. In my parents' household, guns were used for hunting, target practice, and were kept for protection if needed.

My father traveled around the country competing in rifle shooting. My brother was in the military. I never saw either of them wantonly destroying things with their guns. I have (and in the case of my father, had) a high respect for the both of them.

My only response to this, is . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53lb5hXYGxQ&list=UUEmCXnbNYz-MOtXi3lZ7W1Q&index=6&feature=plcp

The depths of human stupidity never cease to astound me.


"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."
-Frank Zappa

The absolute best way to raise responsible, well-adjusted children is to humiliate them publicly. If you can involve firearms in the process so much the better.

Experience has shown that public humiliation is the best way to deal with wayward children.

Acting in the same way the child acted is a great way to set an example. So is destroying expensive property.

No doubt... too much testosterone, way too much drama, and too little maturity to simply see that a teenage girl felt like venting and bitching about her life. In my totally un-professional, un-trained, un-informed opinion, it looked like someone reaching out for a tiny bit of sympathy from somewhere, anywhere and its appears to me that what she gets from home is zero of that.