If I had enough money to pay for it myself, I wouldn't tell him. (Not that there's anything wrong with therapy at all, I'm just an incredibly private person when it comes to stuff like that.)

Unfortunately, as most 19 year old are, I am pretty lacking in the money department, but I know that I would benefit greatly from talking to a skilled psychologist haha.

I have a lot of "mommy issues", most of which are related to the church, and ever since leaving, I am so confused about the meaning of life (so cliche I know.) But I just feel completely lost now- before, I had a purpose,(even when I was inactive for most of my life, I still believed in God and all that) and I was confident in an after life and all of that's gone now (I love that I'm not living a lie anymore but it's really hard to makes sense of why I exist, and these thoughts are just beginning to consume my life.) I love life so much, but I am just so confused and anxious all the time!

Anyways, lately I've been getting severe anxiety at night, like absolutely horrible, and it's really starting to negatively affect my life. I would love to talk to a therapist- but I seriously have no idea how to tell my dad...I know he would pay for it and help me out, but he has no idea that I am struggling this badly, and he worries about his kids so much already and I don't want that!! I have always been the strong one, I don't want him to see me in such a vulnerable state...I just don't know what to do. :(

It's also not covered by insurance where I live...sigh.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2012 09:39AM by ajhart.

Hey there, there are probably lots of kids raised in Mormonism and outside of it who could benefit from therapy.

If you and your Dad are reasonably close, then you could approach it in a simple way. Say that you love your Mom but feel there are issues that you need help with managing.

If he's TBM, he'll likely like you up with a Mormon therapist. That is usually not a good thing. Because a Mormon therapist will just try to encourage you to stay active and in doing so, assumes everything will "work out fine."

So you have to think of a creative way to convince him to help you get a non Mo therapist. That might be difficult. One thing you could do is go through your local school or medical center and try to find a youth therapist, and then tell him the name and place and rate to see if he'll agree. The reason? I think you could say that there are challenges you face with trying to manage your emotions, and you don't want to end up alienating your Mom but need help to finish your growing up years... something like that.

But if he says no, then you need to get a part-time job to pay for it. Even for 4 sessions. I don't know if this is feasible for you, but it's probably worth a try.

Or you could skip telling him the above details but tell him you have a lot of anxiety and that you looked it up. Anxiety is a medical disorder. That you are having trouble with sleeping at night

And ask him if your family health care/insurance covers therapy for anxiety or a psychiatrist?

Anxiety I think can be an inherited problem (genetic). I have it and my kids also have it. One is trying an antidepressant. The other one's spiralled into depression, so am trying to get this child therapy while learning techniques that may help as well.

About the meaning of life, it can be confusing if you once believed Mormonism, and now don't. I would try to figure out or find a few really motivational books that inspire you and learn a few affirmations from them (quotes) that you really like and have it by your bedside and read those and use them.

You can still use some inspiring quotes from the Bible if they help you. I am still not sure about religion but like a few Bible quotes, but there are many many others that are also inspirational and help me find purpose.

Ultimately, the purpose of life for me at least is to be happy and productive doing things that I love. I also find purpose in being kind and helpful to others. So develop your own motto or mission statement, and then try to repeat it and live by it. Hope this helps! Hang in there!

I totally should have clarified- my dad is a nevermo- and there aren't many mormons around where I live so thankfully I won't have to worry about winding up with a mormon therapist! And yeah, I just moved back to Canada from New York so I haven't gotten a job yet so I probably could get a part time job before I start college, but that's one of the problems-my anxiety has been so bad lately that I'm so afraid I'd completely freeze up and do a horrible job. Ugh I'm just a mess right now.

Thank you very much for your reply!

"Dad, I think some therapy would be useful to me right now as I'm sorting through some post-Mormon issues. Can you help me pay for it?"

"And I'm willing to repay you as best as I can once my life is a little more stable"
??

I'd get a referal from your GP that says that your anxiety needs specialist treatment.

A) There are such things as mental health clinics, that operate on a sliding-scale fee schedule. You pay what you can afford. Contact a local social services organization (or, make friends with Google) to find one in your area.

B) Your dad is nevermo and you live in Canada? Why is there a problem?

A nevermo dad should be fine with "You need help? Okay, let's get you some help."

Also, does the national health system in Canada cover mental health? I thought everything was cheap/free in Canada...?

C) If you do managed to get into University, many have mental health professionals (as well as physical health clinics) where you'd pay a nominal fee.

D) Absent of therapy, regular physical exercise, eating well, and getting plenty of sleep on a regular schedule helps with anxiety tremendously. If you truly cannot function and can't leave the house without having an anxiety attack, you need meds. Why don't you make an appointment with a regular doctor, explain the anxiety issues and ask for a referral?

Also, if you're a student, there are usually counseling services offered by schools.

dogzilla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Also, does the national health system in Canada
> cover mental health?

Seeing a psychiatrist (meds/prescriptions) is 'free' with a referral from a doctor but seeing a psychologist (talk therapy) is an out of your own pocket sort of thing (though there are exceptions).


>I thought everything was cheap/free in Canada...?

No not everything but I am! ;-)

Hey ajhart, you could just tell your dad that you want to discuss "woman stuff" with a professional. He just might assume you mean all those menstrual-PMS-gyno issues that strike terror into the hearts of some men and be totally relieved and very willing to pay to have you talk to someone else! ;-)

A bit of a fib but if you don't want to worry him, it might be an appropriate fib.

If you can't bring yourself to ask your dad for help, a lot of colleges in Canada offer free counselling to students. That might be an option too.

Which province are you in? I might be able to find you more specific resources as I'm in Canada (BC) and have some experience with anxiety probs and getting help. ;-)

That's me, too. Then I got sick. Cancer. I had to allow myself to be weak and not worry about freaking out my 70 year old mom. She did freak out. Anxiety, panic, the whole package. But she was there for me at every treatment session for 10 months.

Please don't let this get in your way of getting the help you need. No one (but you, likely) expects you to be strong all the time. Sure, maybe your family takes it for granted that this is your role, but I doubt they expect you or your life to be perfect. Everyone needs help once in awhile.

If I were you, I'd be totally frank with your father. Your role as the strong one has got you protecting your father's feelings instead of letting him step up to the plate to help you and protect you when you need it the very most.

I also have anxiety and most docs will tell you that pills work pretty well, but they work a lot better with talk therapy.

Good luck to you. Let your dad be a father. You won't be disappointed.

Erin

Tell him you have an internet crush on me, then show him some of my posts. That should do it.

Watch the caffeine intake. I love coffee, but I have had anxiety problems at night when I had too much combined with stressful situations. I'm guessing it might have been panic attacks.

I recommend the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (where I learned about the coffee connection). A lot of practical ideas of physical and mental things you can do to deal with stress. I just ignored the stuff (phobia) that didn't apply to my situation.

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331736116&sr=8-1

Indirect answer:
I found several articles on Richard Pakhams site useful as I struggled with some of the same questions you are asking.

Here's the most direct one:
http://packham.n4m.org/purpose.htm

If that's helpful you can find other good articles mostly listed in the Bible & Christianity section.

Direct answer:
It doesn't sound like there is anything stopping you from talking to your Dad other than being embarrassed/uncomfortable. Something like "I'm struggling with anxiety and would like to see a therapist" would do the trick.