ha, ha, April Fool's. (Okay, I'm a day early, but you'll want to tell any TBMs you know)

For sacrement, bread and water will be replaced by chips and beer (bring your own dip).

And your new temple name -- Mittens.

If you'd had said 12% it would have more believable.

As in the price of mormon stock has gone down, not that the cost of mormonism has gone up. After Hollands piss-poor performance, I wouldn't pay anything.

As the membership numbers continue to decline, and in the midst of the most prolonged economic downturn since the 1930s, tithing revenues are collapsing. The only sensible solution is to fleece the ones who are paying to make up the shortfall.

It's a good job TSCC isn't run by socialists, or they would abolish the flat rate in favour of "the rich" paying their "fair share" with higher "tithe bands" for higher earners.

Although they may not want to piss off the millionaires.

How about a millionaires' lounge in the temples? No funny ceremonies, you get a spa treatment instead. The cost will be 12%.

FREE TOILET BRUSH WHEN BAPTIZED.

and a microwave???

Someone needs to teach you about united order.

BTW, thanks for the hilarious note above. I posted "Mormon church announces free toilet brush with new baptisms" on Facebook for my TBM family. They're going to love it. ;)

Need something to wear while scrubbing toilets.

Don't think it would happen. Too many of them couldn't do the math. Way too complicated.

When they put value added taxes up in the UK they went from 10% to 15% so people could work it out. Take 10%, half it, add it to the 10%. A few years later it went up to 17.5% using the same logic. When they want your money, they will find a way to justify it.

We know too well how greedy the church leaders are!

Of course, had you said "12%" (as "Freeman" suggested) some of us might have been fooled.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2012 11:13AM by WiserWomanNow.

I am not a BYU fan and never have been. Back in my Mo days I used to tell people that I only paid 8% tithing because I deducted the 2% that went to BYU. I think some people believed me.

really, he did. but you will NEVER hear about it in a conference talk or see it in a lesson manual !


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwkFavjPsdE

@ 08:37 in segment 5 0f 6

Lucky, this video said that ETB died in 1843 - was there another one because one ETB was profit?

Haha. But they'd never do that because none of those idiots would be able to figure out 8% in their heads.

Sad to say, but most Mos probably couldn't calculate an 8percent tithing. Ten percent is an easy number to figure out in your head.

very funny, you had me going for second

The church could manufacture specially designed calculators whose only function was to "magically" calculate tirhing at 8%, or as someone suggested, more realistically at 12%, or 17% or whatever per cent Monson and his band of robbers chose. You and I know that the "magic" calculator is merely multiplying by .08 or .12 or 17, whatever the tithing rate the brethren wanted from the sheep, but the membership would think the special calculator was divinely inspired and would obediently fork over whatever the cheap plastic device demanded. of course the church would sell these special calculators at about 400% profit.

Actually, I just had another brainstorm. The "magic" tithing calculator could have three buttons, which would of course bear the words "celestial," "terrestrial," and "telestial."
The member would type in his or her income, then click the button for which kingdom's rate you wanted to pay. The "magic" calulator would prorate your tithing for you.