My friend today stated that if an RM were to have sex out of wedlock they are excommunicated. I told her that this was not true and that they most likely just consider the gravity of each situation and person but that in general they probably just treat it as if anybody else sinned. She rebuttled by saying that an RM has been through the temple already and thus are held to a higher standard.

Does anybody out there have any commentary? or even better a link or excerpt from the CHI about the situation.

I've seen a guy excommunicated for masturbation. I've also seen a missionary only get sent home for masturbation. I've known missionaries to tell their MP's that they masturbated, then just told to knock it off. I know of a serial adulterer that only had his pee-pee whacked in a Court of Love, but have seen a military guy get disfellowshipped for going to a bar in the Philippines (no sex). It takes all kinds. Some stake presidents are cowboys, some are arrogant ass-hats, and some turn out to be good guys. Whenever you challenge this unevenly applied justice, TBMs only answer that the leader in question was "inspired" to do what he did. It's further proof that the church is true, in fact.

It depends on whether his wife sexually satisfied him. To be sure that justice is served, wife should be called to the court also and asked, in front of 17 men (12 HCs, SP, counselors and secretary and hubbie) whether she feels like she did or did not. If she answers "well, obviously not," humble, repentant man is given slap on the wrist and can remind his subservient female possession that they made it very clear whose fault all that was. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

WWMB

And hopefully the wife gets up there and says, I satisfy him day and night and in between, so he has no excuse for it.

But that was the first crack in the door.

If wifey poo had that moment to live over again, being the person she is now, she would have said, "well, I don't know, I give him three blow jobs a day and I thought that was enough. How many does your wife give you?"

WWMB

Excommunicated for masturbation!!? Amazing.

That would be like getting the death sentence for jaywalking. But only if you are TBM, of course.

If not a TBM, it would mean FREEDOM!!

My cousin was exed for kissing a girl one week before he finished his mission. He confessed to the bishop after he returned and they decided to ex him. I bet he wishes now they had done a lot more than just kiss. ;)

I did it out of marriage, was Temple endowed, but was repentant at the time and just got a slap on the wrist.

Depending on the Bishop and/or Stake President and sometimes the circumstances it could be harsh or light. As other posters have shown, there is no fast and solid rule, but it all depends on the Bishops own personality.

So now we must wonder- Since all of these are recorded and sealed in Heaven, will a person who got excommunicated for masturbation fare worse than a person who cheated on his wife, but got a light disciplinary action?

dawg bless the lay bishops with no training, no college degree in counseling, no clear cut doctrine to reference, no real support from anyone above who will admit to teaching that, and above all thank dawg because despite all the above this is the most perfect word dawg has to offer.

AMEN! don't you just love it

stupid cult

I think the general population of the church feels that there are rules set in stone when it comes to excommunication UNTIL they know someone who is close to them who went through a church court. My ex had had gay sex pretty regularly for several years when he went in and confessed. He was 25 and had been on a mission, etc. They didn't even hold a court. The bishop handled it. He was on probation for 6 months.

My friend, RM and his fiance had sex before marriage, drank alcohol with dinner and he got disfellowshipped for a year. she confessed the same to her bishop (neighboring wards) and she got nothing. So they waited a year to get married in the temple.

My RM brother in law had sex with his fiance and they had to wait a year to be sealed in the Big Joe House.

It wasn't his poor old fault. He explained, "She tempted me".

I dated him for 6 months. He obviously lied to his bishop because he got married in the temple 3 months after we broke up.

If you give a lot of money to the church or have a prominent name or come from a prominent family you can generally get away with a lighter sentence than a regular morgbot. At least that is what happens in my town.

My good friend a few years after finishing a stint as bishop was busted (Private I) for visiting "massage" parlors and prostitutes. As things came to light (he confessed to SP and went to counselling), they found out it had been going on for several years...including while he was bishop. He got disfellowshipped...and it was kept hush-hush. The only person I heard mention it was my wife who was best friends with his. No gossip, no rumors. The behavior continued for another several months. Only after his soon to be ex-wife started telling people because she was upset for the "slap on the wrist for tearing up the family" and raising a big brew-ha-ha with the SP did they excommunicate him.

FC

My dad cheated on my mom multiple times, with multiple women. He even knocked up the last woman he got caught with. They're married now. His punishment? He couldn't wear his garments for a few months. He now has two kids with the woman he got pregnant out of wedlock, and they even just recently got "sealed" in the temple.

My cousin got exed because she performed oral sex on some guy. Seems a bit off, doesn't it? It makes me sick how church leaders carry out their punishment based on basically how they personally feel about it. I mean, WTF is up with that?

i know of a ceo who cheated on his wife and didnt even get disfellowshipped due to his wealth and power in the area.

I wish I'd known this back then. My ex beat me repeatedly, and almost killed me, but was never even disfellowshipped, or even talked to. I was never granted a temple divorce, even with hospital records and witnesses to his assaults on me. He, on the other hand, got married in the temple the day after our civil divorce was final.

He's a close relative to an important GA.

Oh, back on the subject. Our bishop's son slept with a girl on his mission, and because "he was representing our ward" he had to confess in testimony meeting, and beg all or our forgiveness. Then he was excommunicated "for his own good," so he could repent and get a fresh start. All this was done to him out of love.

I know of several RM's who got married in the temple when the bride was pregnant.

So, along with the above reasons, it depends on how good a liar the RM is.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2010 04:38AM by forestpal.

I was always led to believe that if you broke the "law of chastity" after you'd been through the temple, excommunication was the only "punishment"

it's difficult to know exactly what happened that resulted in the LDS Church taking any particular action.
Their policy, is strict in some areas, and open to different action in others.

Policies change in the LDS Church. Reminded me of how the rules and policies changed in banking. Every day we got new pages for the Operation Manuals - there were about 20 huge notebooks!