We have a mormon family in our area who we have been friends with since we were TBM and active. We are no longer either, but even though they are still believing, we have remained close friends for over 10 years.

Their youngest son is in the MTC and will be stationed in the Phillippines for the next 2 years. I want to be supportive of him during his mission as he is like a brother to my youngest boy. Their family is believing, but they have had various struggles with their older children, so they know reality happens and "pray, obey, and pay" doesn't always work.

To those of you who served foreign missions (Phillippine missions, maybe?), how can I help this child to avoid depression, keep up his spirits, and survive the next two years while we are 7000 miles away? Can I send extra cash to him? What are the rules about that?

Of course, I want to help him discover his cog-dis as much as possible and still feel like he's a worthy HUMAN by the time this is all said and done.

Any advice would be helpful.

The best thing you can do is write letters. Be cordial and ask him a lot of questions about what he's doing, where he is, what he sees and experiences. Don't load your letter with what's going on at home. That's what will depress him, if anything.

Over time, if you continue to write, he'll begin to open up and will need a sympathetic ear. That's when you can really help out.

Ron

Ditto what Ron said. Don't talk too much about what he is missing at home. Ask him how he's doing. Ask him what he's doing. Find out a little about what city he is in and google about it. Ask if he's visited certain sites on P-day or if he's tried certain foods. See if you can send him small packages. My mom used to put an envelope of grape koolaid (ironic, I know) in my letters - something we didn't have then in Spain. Or an envelope of salsa or alfredo sauce mix. Something not expensive to mail but something homey.

. . . both in Europe, earlier in this century. Neither ever baptized anyone, or had a companion who ever baptized anyone, and neither served in a district that ever had a baptism.

Both of my sons did reasonably well psychologically when they could write home often about their non-church activities. We responded with great interest in their tourism, P-day, and social interactions. My younger son, however, also included our ward bishop on all of his e-mails home. The bishop wrote back to him and convinced him that the reason he was having so little success (and thus disappointing the Lord) was that he was telling too much about his travels and activities, essentially that he was having too much fun, and that his letter should concentrate exclusively on spiritual things. His mission pretty much sucked after that. He was in France and spent quite a bit of time in Paris, and the whole idea of someone saying, "You're 20 and in Paris, don't have fun" still bugs me to this day.

So, as Tabula Rasa suggested, I think letters and e-mails, but I would concentrate on any fun things he's doing, and encourage him to tell you about the travel and cultural things, the food, the things he's learning about the Philippine people, etc. Encourage him to have fun.

Both of my sons have now resigned from the church, and clearly, absolutely, the missions were a big part of their reasons why. The second son came home apparently gung ho, but actually resigned within six months. The older one went inactive immediately upon returning home, and resigned a few years later.