Are you: happier, financially more stable, better career, jobs, schooling, family relationships improve, etc.

What about your stress level? Has it gone down? Do you need less medication, for instance for some conditions?

What is your outlook like? Is it positive? Are you more creative,more content?

Have you found a level of peace of mind and joy?

I have more time for my children, for my own interests, my career.

I have money for my children and my retirement.

I am less stressed about being over-committed with church callings that were often useless.

I have a smaller circle of freinds, but these relationships are built on true mutual interests and affection--not based on what ward I live in.

I'm closer to my kids, who are out of the church with me.

THE BIGGEST BENEFIT: I can think clearly again--the world is in sharp relief to me like the landscape after a rainstorm, glistening in sunlight. The earth, life itself is beautiful for it's own sweet sake.

THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE: I have two:(1) my TBM spouse not dealing well with my change of belief and (2) feeling lost in terms of spirituality. I long to believe in something or to participate in some sort of religious community, but I'm really gunshy. I'm taking my time with this one.

"THE BIGGEST BENEFIT: I can think clearly again--the world is in sharp relief to me like the landscape after a rainstorm, glistening in sunlight. The earth, life itself is beautiful for it's own sweet sake."

Same here.

My female sexuality is alive and willing ....

I have a whole bunch of new friends ( you guys) to laugh with and that I have a common bond with...

I have a savings account...tithing to me...

I feel like a whole new ( and scary) world is out there to explore...

more to come...

A secretary in the office is always telling me how much happier I appear from a year ago. I am much happier both from the stress of pretending to believe in TSCC and from what I now recognize as a marriage that should have ended before. Career wise, everything is the same. Family relationships are stressed but improving.

What about your stress level? I was on antidepressants when I resigned. My ex asked if I was going to quit taking them when I resigned. She recognized the church as being part of my problem. I stopped taking them last summer, partly because of some negative side effects. I have used my extra time now to work out, doing a lot of Zumba and weight training. The improved physical health has made a huge difference on my mental health.

“men are that they might have joy”. I truly am enjoying life. I no longer feel the need to do things in this life only to win some future reward.

The anxiety level in our family has dropped to almost zero.

Sunday is now my favorite day.

Saturday is no longer spent thinking about Sunday.

No more ringing phone with a guilt trip on the other end of the line.

I choose who and when I'm going to do service for.

I choose where charitable funds go and how it's spent.

Finally we can take some great vacations.

No more crazy people from church invading my life and taking up space in my head.

BIC and 4 decades into it...I was taught to view blacks as the seed of cain, gays as perverted, women as 2nd class to men, and hispanics as children of the cursed.

I am no longer racist or prejudice in any way. If I see a black at work or on the street, I have good feelings toward them. If I see a gay at work, I no longer shy away from talking to them, nor do I care about anyone's sexual nature. I view women in a healty way. I view every human being as an equal human being. It's good to come out of the clouds of mormonism, and into the bright sun light of equality and nonbias.

It's very simple: I have a clear conscience, and I am at peace with who I am. Neither of those things was true when I was a believer. I constantly felt guilt over trivial things and felt that I would never measure up, never be good enough.

An added bonus is that I no longer have a large "shelf" of things I have to rationalize to continue believing.

And I can be my own, authentic self.

I feel comfortable in my own skin. As a Mormon I either disdained my body or my body-awareness operated very low. Now I not only notice the container I find myself in but it feels right, like home.

I've had the privilege of getting to know nonmormon people I never would have had I stayed Mormon. This is probably the largest issue and all things being equal would have ignited my exit before anything else. I simply can't. stand. Mormons. This of course would be directed at the people themselves but they have chosen a specific mental-mapping system for themselves and it shows. I was rountinely frustrated with them. Not that nonMormons are perfect either, but at least their issues are much more multifaceted, and can shed light on so much more. Everyone be having problems, but the issues Mormons have not only are relatively homogenous but involve me personally as a character in their life-narrative which led to heartache for me.

My guilt-meter is operating normally. I feel guilty about things I should: over-reacting at one of my kids, etc. But the made-up guilt Mormons experience over touching themselves is long gone for me. I live life unapologetically now. I'm no fan of Ayn Rand, but she made an excellent point once about religionists she knew. She observed that their source of happiness is also their enemy. Not only are they hypocrites, but they need their hypocrisy in order to survive their religion. I no longer possess this paradigm or this pernicious "natural man is God's enemy" notion. Mormons love that terrible line.

The last one I'll mention here is the tribe with which I identify. Even at my most doubting times as a Mormon I indentified strongly with the MOrmon people (despite my earlier statement that I couldn't stand them). IN my mind it really was Mormons and the rest of the world. Since renouncing, I feel I've opened up to the entire human race, that they are now my tribe or family (including Mormons). Not that I would make the mistakes that Mormons do that lead to affinity fraud, in fact I have trust issues. But it makes more sense in my head and creates a better feeling in my chest to see everyone in the world as my people, that we're all in it together, not just a sliver of the population of the world.

It's about a wash - I got all this extra time but now I waste it all on RFM ;)

For me it's a loss of the sense of doom & guilt. Just one minor example is home teaching - doing the home teaching wasn't that big of deal, but worrying about the responsibility was just a little extra weight too worry about every month that is gone now.

Good question. I am free! My brain belongs to me.

No longer have to listen to people saying they know what they do not know. The very last meeting I could endure was a missionary farewell with a 21 year old girl saying that she knew with "every fiber in her being" that the church is true. The nails on the chalkboard were too shrill that day. Went home and told my wife I can't do it any more. Haven't been back since for any reason. My mind is much more at ease not having to listen to such hogwash.

I was able to quit antidepressants after my divorce and resignation were finalized, and with replacing sodas with black coffee and unsweetened tea, I've lost weight. I've also been able to have more time to work out at the gym, which has helped with my weight loss as well.

I'm able to live life as I want to, without having people spy on me, especially if I chose not to go to church for whatever reason. I now have a savings account started with what would have been given as tithing, and it has come in handy at times. I'm no longer a third class citizen, even though I was considered one as a female convert.

I no longer have to deal with the issue of why I am donating so much money and time to a church that really does not need it, while my local food bank is pleading for help, several local homeless shelters need funds, the local schools don't have enough money or volunteers to provide for the kids, local nursing homes need both money and volunteers.


Now that I'm not serving in three callings, I have time to volunteer one day a week at a local nursing home.


Now that I'm not serving in three callings, I have more time to grow food in my garden, some of which I can donate to the local food bank.


Now that I'm not paying tithing, I have money to donate to a local nursing home, the Salvation Army, the local food bank, and extra-curricular programs for the local school children.

More money from not having to pay tithing. What is even stranger, is since I have stopped paying tithing, my base income has also gone up considerably. It is now slightly more then squat, then slightly less then it. I know, by not paying tithing, I am supposed to be condemning myself to eternal poverty, but I was never at my poorest then when I was paying tithing.

My dating life has improved. While I am not exactly a ladies man, I have been with three women, which is three more then when I was a TBM.

I have discovered beer. A cold beer, after a long day of work, brings me a greater sense of peace then I have ever felt in the Celestial room of any temple.

I have discovered the simple joy of buying a single lottery ticket, then keeping it my pocket all week, to occasionally day dream of winning. I have never won of course, but neither have I gone broke, nor have I given up on more realistic plans for my future.

I no longer feel guilt for some of the thoughts that occasionally pop into my head.

I find that the more I focus on the positive changes, the better my life gets. Life is so much easier now without outside intrusive rules and regulations.
It's like a breath of fresh air!

Family relations have not improved with TBM's--gone down hill

Stress--much less

Inner peace--gone way up

Finances--improved

Career--improved

Confidence and inner-strength--improved

Perspective on reality--improved

TBM Friends--many lost--some of this is sad and some of it is good

Happiness--improved

Feeling good about myself--yes

If you're the same Sam, I remember, these are really great improvements. Sounds like you are doing really well!

There are still challenges SusieQ#1 but things are definitely moving in the right direction.

That's good to hear. A little bit better every day is how things go for me.

Captain Morgan

Patron

Tuaca

Beer

No tithing and more money for Cap Morgan, Patron Tuaca and beer.

Truth

No anxiety about not measuring up to a high standard.

Another day to have to myself or sleep off a hangover...sunday

Doing nice things because I am a nice guy and not because I am commanded to.

Accepting ppl irregardless of sex orientation, gender, religion, or race. Especially, no bogus speculation about them coming from some curse or something.

Focusing on the "here and now", seizing the moments before they are gone and not worrying about what kingdom I will earn.

Actually realizing that there is nothing wrong with having sexual desires. Its part of living. Of course, not infringing on others though.

FREEDOM!!!!!!! You don't own me Joseph Smith, CTR you dip smack!

less stressed
better parent
more money
more time
less judgmental
learning how to love and be loved unconditionally!
Better friend
better boundries
no anxiety/depression
things are much better! Takes a little time to get over bitterness of being lied too. But now chalk it up to life experience.

My TBM parents told me how peaceful and happy I seemed to be. I told them the next day why.

I love these lists! So many are fearful of leaving, but the fact is, life almost always gets better and better and better!!

I can think for myself.
I can wear tank tops--or whatever the hell I WANT.
I don't have to hear 'you don't have enough faith' when blessings fail to heal my chronic pain.
I don't have to sit on those damn pews at church, or go to church and yawn to death.

I. Feel. Free. I feel like a new person. I feel like I was changing so much to fit the mold of the church, that this transformation now is one of the best things to happen to me.

All of the above... My life has improved in every imaginable category.

Getting rid of that LDS self righteous attitude was a major improvement in my life. The guilt trips brought on by striving for perfection were unbearable and and in retrospec unattainable.

LDS management have some great marketing people... the constant use of those little catchy phrases like "Endure to the End" can really screw with your thought process.

It takes years to de program yourself from that mindset into a rational ordinary way of thinking about life.In my personal recovery over the years I have seen little baby steps of improvement and then a giant step will come along... although I must admit the old way still haunts me to a degree. Slowly though that LDS brain wash or what ever it was slowly desolves and I feel more in control of my thought process.

It is so refreshing to live life as God had intented.

I keep seeing: "more money" as a benefit and improvement! Sure can't beat that!

I don't feel the guilt like I used to for disliking the church. When I was lukewarm and unsure if it was true I felt guilt for disliking church, temple, scriptures, other Mormons, Mission. Now I know I had good reason to be bored. It never was true. I feel validated now! I also hated going to the temple because I didn't feel worthy. I would fib here and there during the temple interview.

Self esteem helps in any career. So does independence, decisiveness, confidence. The more inactive I became, the better I felt about myself.

At first I mourned the loss of the Mormon neighbor former friends who shunned me--but my life is better without their negativity, guilt-trips, and demands. I'm free of all that, and can do what I want--often by myself--and enjoy things much more.

All of what Utah County Mom said.