Posted by:
forestpal
(
)
Date: December 06, 2010 03:31PM
Right--we're from the real world (99.9%) and the Mormons (-1%) are from another planet. It is easy to feel outnumbered in a Mormon meeting or function. I feel that way even in my Utah TBM neighborhood. The odd person out, the third wheel (I'm single), the anamoly. I obviously don't fit in, because we moved here from Utah, and many ward members were childhood friends, real brothers and sisters, cousins, went to the university together, etc. My children and I were (gasp) Californians!
I've seen a few comedy shows lately, depicting a person who is under pressure to be perfect, and they completely lose it, with an audience of judgmental people looking on. You know, when a character messes up a wedding, a proposal of marriage, an interview or audition, a business meeting or presentation--and everyone just stares at them in blank silence. That's how I feel around Mormons!
From Day One in our Utah ward, I've been a divorcee, and I've had to work hard to support my family. I sometimes work on Sundays. At first, when I was in school, I couldn't pay tithing for a while. I won't go into detail, but life's little ordinary "glitches" seemed to seperate me and my kids from the Perfect Mormons.
I challenge you to display a sense of humor, and make jokes with Mormons! Those always backfire! In California, even as a Mormon, in YW, in school, people enjoyed my humor. The California boys wanted to date me, and some wanted to marry me--even a few Mormons did. I have to revert to the past, or to my job, to give me "credibility." Here, now, in Utah, I forget who I once was, and that people once wanted to be with me! Since I left, I have one TBM friend from the neighborhood ward. I've lived in this neighborhood for over 14 years. All the rapport, relationships, connections, ties to our children--everything we built up is gone. I'm an apostate. They liked me only because they needed an organ grinder.
I understand those of you who don't know who they really are, because that's me, too. I also didn't like who I was as a Mormon. I was so phony, and either closed-off, or fake-enthusiastic about my wonderful musical callings.
These days, when I'm seriously introspective and honest with myself--I realize that don't like being around Mormons--I don't really like many Mormons as individuals, either. I don't have much in common with the Mormons who are only interested in the church. It is like "negative reinvorcement" now. I get flashbacks of the Mormon abuse, but also old ghoses of the run-of-the-mill fake fellowshipping, judgments, gossip, repetition of obsolete ideas that are false, the instant canned testimonkey with tears (in the grocery store, or at a party), that nauseates me. Not to mention the harrassment, love-bombing, and shunning.
Yes, I admit it! It is me! I don't like being around Mormons!
Ask yourself:
How many Mormon neighbor's homes have you been inside? (Dropping off papers or food at their front door does not count.)
Has any Mormon invited you into their house without it being a Mormon-organized meeting or activity?
Have you ever been to a non church-related movie, play, lunch, for a walk, to just hang out with a Mormon? (This does not include going to the temple.)
Have you ever had a phone call or a visit from a Mormon, that was not to ask you to do something for the church?
You get the idea. I get lonely, and feel that I have lost most of my friends, I remember that these friends just wanted more from me than I wanted to give. I could never give enough. (There have been threads on how Mormons overburden their music people.) Also, they never gave anything back. I missed so much of my happy life, because I was too busy with music, my other callings, and trying to please others.
I found Mormon women to not be supportive or empathetic at all. When I was down, they either avoided me, or said it was my fault. When I succeeded, they were jealous, and certainly never complimented or congratulated me. Mormon women seem to be in competition with each other. IMO, competitors are like enemies.
My new and old not-Mormon friends and family members are not assigned to get together three or four times a week. Everyone works. 50% are divorced. Our familes come first. Sometimes a month or two will go by without seeing each other, but we keep in touch with phone calls and e-mails. I think this is normal, or average. I read somewhere that a woman in the US has an average of about 4-6 close friends, and a man has about 2-3.
Mormons have a gift of making normal people feel "wrong." No wonder a lot of us have trouble socializing with these wierdo's!