Posted by:
apatheist
(
)
Date: May 05, 2012 12:14AM
As Spongebob said, I think that I too was a junior apologist. It's embarrassing to think about, really. I can only imagine how stupid I sounded years ago.
When I was about 13 years old, I used to get on the state-run BBS that was started under one of Leavitt's technology initiatives. (To you young folks here, a BBS is sort of like this message board except really, really slow.) They offered a 1-800 number that at first, they were dumb enough to leave on a virtually-unlimited use. I suppose when the first month's phone bill came in, someone probably lost their job or got a very sharp lecture and they shrank the time limit to 13 minutes or something.
Anyhoo, I would get on there and argue about the legitimacy of homosexuality with folks 3- or 4-times my age. Imagine the irony of me, our great, flamboyant apatheist arguing that gay sex was unnatural. I would pull out a couple of cliches about the topic tied to biblical references, and once they'd whipped the tar out of me I'd sign off in disgust. My mother used to discourage me from arguing (I would always insist I was "debating") online, that whole avoiding contention thing.
Beyond that, I loved to defend how mormons were christians ("Of course we're christian, it says JESUS CHRIST right in the name, doesn't it???") I was an excellent parrot for whatever few apologist lines were available. Since we didn't have the intertubes just yet, I didn't really get into it - if it had been, I probably would have dove into FAIR and FARMs type groups like crazy.
I literally was a parrot - when I ran my own BBS for awhile, I even had a "Clinton Countdown" timer on it, to show how much longer we had left til the end of his dictatorship. The problem was that I really knew very little about the Clinton presidency, good or bad - I think I really put it on there to seek approval. All of that tripe was really to seek approval and eternal brownie points.
Right on up to about 11 or 12 years ago - I was basically forcing the girlfriend of a friend of mine to watch the church-produced "Prodigal Son" movie, imagining through my tear-filled speech to her afterward that she'd somehow see the light and realize how wrong it was to be unmarried and living with him, despite all of my sinful past even before then. I doubt it was even six months later that I was inviting her and my friend to come to the Rocky Horror Picture Show halloween showing - with my boyfriend. While my wife had to work.
I was somewhat offended with her indignant rebuking of me, but later I finally realized she had good reason to be judgemental of me.
I have multiple, mortifying stories of trying to convert non-mormon and jack-mormon friends in jr. high and high school - even though I remember hiding in the curtains of the stage during aaronic priesthood meetings because I loathed being there and getting taunted by fellow brethren.. I was convinced that this was the only true way to salvation, and it would just be so awesome if I could bring someone else into the fold. Because it just brought me soooo much happiness.
I literally, physically cringe when I think back to those days. I really try to block out the memories, so I don't die of embarrassment.