My daughter, high school senior has been kicked out of the house by TBM ex. She's a 4.3 GPA, classical violinist, full ride scholarship to college of her choice. I need to say she lives out of state and moved during her freshman year because her TBM mom was awarded her horses in divorce. Her mom moved out of state without consent. I pushed the issue through the legal system but the harder I pushed, the more she tainted daughters siblings so I let go. The past two years of five have been good. However, her Borderline Personality Disorder mon (based on analysis by PhD couples therapist when she stopped attending), has esclated the issue through TBM prieshtood holder husband she "found" just months after the divorce, He just sent an email regarding his hesitancy, ("because [he] doesn't want his financial information out there"), to electronically sign a FSAFA financial form that daughter's full ride merit scholarship requires. He noted his reason as my inability to include EX in a 5 year battle over severance pay lawsuit; the ex wants half of the award that, after fees and taxes is 4 figures. He sited his hesitancy to sign her FAFSA as dependent upon my lack of inclusion of ex in my megar award. What of piece of s__t manipulater. He calls me a "wolf in sheeps clothing". They moved out of state without my consent, defame myself and non MO new spouse frequently, wanted a "little extra child support" 2K (I didn't pay) on top of 4K that I still pay in spite of of older daughter quitting college at age 22, and never follow a visitation schedule with three younger siblings. They're using the mormon methods of deception, even recruiting their bishop, to guard their "eternal family" from our influence.

forgot to mention that high school senior daughter was kicked out because she called foul of her TBM mom's and step dad's manipulative crap, their utilizing of the Bish to "interview her for unworthness" etc.

You got one hella mess on your hands there amigo. I went through some of the same stuff with my ex who was identified as a narcissistic personality disorder during counseling. It is an expensive and emotionally trying situation to be in so I feel for you.

That said I couldn't give any legal advise. I did go the legal route for a few long expensive years and just ended up in more debt and turmoil. I finally let it go and just hope it ends up working itself out someday. You can go to court for anything you want with your lawyer. Most will be happy to fight your fight within reason...some will do it without reason.

Moving out of state without consulting you might be a big deal. Look into the statutes regarding that in the state the divorce took place in. It may very plainly say that it was not legal to do that, and will be good leverage for mediation or court.

My ex also refused to sign so our daughter could get low cost housing at college and also to cosign a loan that she would have to repay--it was only $5,000. Fortunately she had an older sister with good credit who could do it for her (my credit was shot).

That daughter is in her mid-thirties and still does not speak to him. She will be getting married this year and he will not be invited.

I also went through the wringer with legal battles with a monster of an ex. Looking back, I regret spending money on attorneys (except for the one that got the kids back after he kidnapped them). I spent much of the time in a cold fury over how he was hurting them, not realizing that my anger and preoccupation with legal papers like Betty Broderick was also hurting them.

Had I done nothing, I would have collected much more in back child support courtesy of state of Utah than I ended up settling for. That was in 1983 and I still have flashbacks of anger about stuff he did--the injustice! The arrogance! Yes--spitting lightning bolts.

Non-resistance is a much better way. Your daughter is better off free of her narcissistic mother and her selfish stepfather. She is old enough to be out on her own and will begin making her own way. Focus your attention on being there for her and helping her make good decisions instead of wasting time, money, energy on people who create one horrific situation after another.

What has happened with her is good news. Your daughter will need lots of support now that she sees through the Mormon Delusion. By showing more love and consistency than they have at home, you will attract the siblings also.

Four of my daughters wanted to live with Dad at various times and I always let them go. I knew they would be back because kids know when they are loved. They came back. They were mistreated some, yes, but it is part of their reality that they have an asshat for a father. It was important that they experience him firsthand while being secure that I loved them and would never leave them.

Sometimes when bad things happen, they aren't bad in the long run.

Anagrammy

I can't answer your questions because (1) I don't know what jurisdiction you live in, and (2) I am unclear on some facts.

It seems to me that your divorce is final and journalized. In most states, a final decree regarding property division is final and non-amendable, unless timely appealed, which is 30 days in most states. If that is the case, then your ex-wife may have waited to long to assert a claim to your severance pay award. Additionally, if the severance claim is from a time period following separation or divorce, she may not have a claim to it.

Hope that helps. Speak to an attorney where you live/.

Can't comment on the numerous legal questions because everything varies by state and location.

However, I just finished the FAFSA process for my step-daughter and I do know about that. The parent's income section for split families is based on where the child lives most of the time, not the biology.

Check the FAFSA website and check with the college's financial aide office, but if daughter is truly "disowned" by mom & step-dad and was living with them full time prior to that, she may be cleared as an independent student and only her income would be considered.

The more immediate need is to make sure she has a safe place to live where she can finish high school.

Best of luck to you in this.

GeekChick

Agree with Geekchick. Severing the relationship completely, and perhaps filing as an independent student is probably her best bet. Professionals will always tell you the best way to deal with a narcissist -- and presumably a borderline --is no contact. For your sanity.

I am so sorry you even need to have contact with your ex in the first place. My tbm father, who is NPD flat out refused to fill out the FASFA forms. He flat out didn't care what happened in my future. By nature people like your ex who are in the "antisocial" family will obfuscate by making it all about you to avoid taking responsibility. They are also jealous. She's probably jealous you got the settlement.