I was doing some online research on the topic "narcissistic Mormon men" and found a talk from the 2006 GC. It was given by D Todd Christofferson and titled "Let Us Be Men."

It began with one of those ubiquitous stories about noble sacrifice -- his mother had cancer surgery when he was a little boy. Much tissue was removed from her neck and shoulder making use of her arm painful. She had a husband and five sons and all the ironing was very difficult. So after a year, her husband surprised her by buying an ironer (mangle) that would simplify the task (right). When she protested that they couldn't afford it because of all her medical expenses, the husband explained that he had given up buying lunch for a year in order to pay for it. D Todd's take on all this was that his father was a real man -- one who honored his obligations to the family. (take that you male slackers ;-)

OK -- mom, who already feels like crap because of cancer has to iron white shirts for dad and five sons. It is so painful that for a whole year she cries secretly in another room while ironing.

Noble dad apparently can't pack a pb&j sandwich for himself, but nobly forgoes buying lunch for a whole year. He then pays cash for a fancy machine to help mom with the ironing, thereby flashing his "nobility" publicly and reinforcing mom's inferior position.

Wasn't there a simpler solution? Couldn't dad wield an iron, or oldest son? The woman had cancer for God's sake. She lost most of her neck and shoulder. And the real men can't pick up an iron?

Do any Mormon men under the age of 60 still buy this crap?

But even Ward helped June dry the dishes every now and then.

It's strange. Mormon men know perfectly well how an iron, needle and thread, stove top, dishwasher, or even the dreaded vacuum works from between the ages of 19 to 21, but as soon as they turn 22, these things become slippery in their minds, and they loose their ability to cope with them. It is a very weird condition, one very little understood, but that victimizes millions of Mormon men. One theory is that they really don't know how to do these things from between the ages of 19-21, but that Cureloms, which are very useful animals, actually secretly perform these chores for Mormon men at this age, but then refuse to do so any more once the man turns 22.

Actually, some missionaries don't even know how to fix a toilet or set a thermostat - are probably clueless even aftere two years on a mission. In the past is our ward, the mishies could count on meals almost every day. Oldest son (properly taught to do everything) got lots of free meals in Utah.

Maybe it's a generational thing.

My SIL wears a suit to work everyday. My DD told him that he was responsible for his own shirts. This TBM, BIC man agreed!

At first, he ironed them himself. Then he found a dry cleaner near his office, so he drops them off and picks them up himself.

Something like, "I would suffer that my testicles be taken if ever I learn the secrets of domestic chores." They say this while pantomiming castration.

Oldest of 9 children so there was a lot of laundry. I've ironed my own shirts since I was a kid and I do it very well, thank you. Earned me some cash in the military because of my talent in ironing uniforms. Didn't seem to make me any less masculine. I still iron my clothes because I do it better than anyone else. Even my two children will call on their dad to iron something for them in a hurry.

Our evil district president in the Okinawa Servicemen's District, who was a tin-horn Air Force captain who acted like he was a general officer, would not help his wife clean their military housing unit when they left because it wasn't something that men were supposed to do. But as they were leaving, she began suffering from a prolapsed uterus and couldn't do difficult labor. Rather than do the cleaning himself, he assigned the district to come over and clean his house for him. People did not jump at the opportunity, but there were enough people who feared and worshipped the man that he had a big enough quorum of women who showed up so he could escape the labor or--God forbid--hire one of the many local cleaning agencies to clean the house.

Priesthood leaders can be such clueless assholes.

An aside: One of the biggest favors ever done for me was when my mother had terminal cancer and knew she wasn't going to be around long, she taught me how to iron, cook, and do other domestic stuff. (The lessons became immediately useful when I was put in a messy foster home where people didn't iron or clean house.) The ironing lesson really took hold, but the negative side is that I can't deal with clothes that are not ironed. I have to iron everything but socks and underwear. It's weird, but at least no one else has to do my stuff.

Get some popcorn and have fun with this.

Making a New Day Out of Tuesday (Part I) (1946)

http://archive.org/details/MakingaN1946

Bicentennial Ex Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Get some popcorn and have fun with this.
>
> Making a New Day Out of Tuesday (Part I) (1946)
>
> http://archive.org/details/MakingaN1946


What a great video. I never knew that "a shirt that is ironed right is one of life's greatest satisfactions." My life has been so empty since I switched to permanent press.

My mother had one of those. I don't recall ever seeing her use it though.

Unless you're using it to iron sheets you can do much better with a steam iron. I watched the demo on ironing dress shirts and shook my head in disbelief. The steam iron is faster.

This is why you don't see them much anymore. I think there is one company that makes them today and it's not Ironrite.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2012 08:06PM by Bicentennial Ex.

One of the good things about being married to a gay man...he ironed everything,, even jeans at first!! Thus he ironed my clothes, and my son's clothes until he moved out. But he took forever to iron it, so I had to give him enough lead time.

But, even though this is not about ironing, still applicable. An old dear friend lives in Arizona with second husband. He had gone through a bout of colon cancer (he was much older than her)/ I happened to call her one friday morning I think, or maybe it was a saturday.

Well, she had 2 kids 5 and under. She told me she had just had surgery 2 days before for an ectopic pregnancy. but she had to get going and fix a hot breakfast for her hubby and kids. I asked why was SHE doing this, and she was like, well, it was her job, and he had gone through cancer (even though he was done with chemo and back at work). So, yeah, it was a saturday. So, she had just lost a baby, had surgery, and was up and about cooking a hot breakfast.

I called her on it a bit, needless to say I have not talked to her in 9 years because I questioned why she should be doing that.

Geez, just give the kids cereal, they aren't going to suffer for it.

Course, she is used to being used and neglected. Her first dh didn't even show up to pick her and their baby up at the hospital. He forgot, and she had to call a member of the ward.

I feel lots of pressure to get my son learning how to do everything before he moves out. My ex did everything for him, laundry, ironing, etc. Sigh. All my friends were so jealous that my ex did the housecleaning and laundry. Was it worth it? Maybe sometimes :)

nomomomo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One of the good things about being married to a
> gay man...he ironed everything,, even jeans at
> first!! Thus he ironed my clothes, and my son's
> clothes until he moved out. But he took forever
> to iron it, so I had to give him enough lead
> time.
>
> But, even though this is not about ironing, still
> applicable. An old dear friend lives in Arizona
> with second husband. He had gone through a bout
> of colon cancer (he was much older than her)/ I
> happened to call her one friday morning I think,
> or maybe it was a saturday.
>
> Well, she had 2 kids 5 and under. She told me she
> had just had surgery 2 days before for an ectopic
> pregnancy. but she had to get going and fix a hot
> breakfast for her hubby and kids. I asked why was
> SHE doing this, and she was like, well, it was her
> job, and he had gone through cancer (even though
> he was done with chemo and back at work). So,
> yeah, it was a saturday. So, she had just lost a
> baby, had surgery, and was up and about cooking a
> hot breakfast.
>
> I called her on it a bit, needless to say I have
> not talked to her in 9 years because I questioned
> why she should be doing that.
>
> Geez, just give the kids cereal, they aren't going
> to suffer for it.
>
> Course, she is used to being used and neglected.
> Her first dh didn't even show up to pick her and
> their baby up at the hospital. He forgot, and she
> had to call a member of the ward.
>
> I feel lots of pressure to get my son learning how
> to do everything before he moves out. My ex did
> everything for him, laundry, ironing, etc. Sigh.
> All my friends were so jealous that my ex did the
> housecleaning and laundry. Was it worth it?
> Maybe sometimes :)

Did you have an inkling that ex DH was gay before you married him?

My girlfriend doesnt do any cleaning at her place. I think you had something must would be jealous to have.

...my mother was going through cancer treatment, and dying, and my father still expected her to make meals. When my sisters found out, they gave him a good talking-to and taught him some basics. The guy had been an engineer but still couldn't figure out a microwave oven.

Daphne Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It was given by D Todd
> Christofferson and titled "Let Us Be Men."

Interesting topic from someone who is high on the possibly gay GA list.

Personally, I love manly men, twinks and some women.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2012 12:03PM by lulu.

I've done all the ironing in our home for years. The ironing board comes out on Sunday evening (oh get me working on the Sabbath!) & empty the basket for the whole family in under 2 hours.

I tried ironing a few shirts as a practice session prior to my mission & never looked back. Like 'Walking in Darkness' I iron very well even if I say so my self & would beat my wife in a 5/10/20 item ironing race.....for both time & quality lol.

My mother told my sister if she didn't iron her husbands shirts he would leave her. My mother really believed that.

My sisters husband just laughed about it and told my mother he didn't iron his own shirts. He took them to the dry cleaners.

My husband does the same thing. My mother thinks we are terrible wives because we don't iron.

When my husband was scout leader I taught the boys how to iron a shirt, sew on a button, and how to sort laundry and use a washer and dryer. I was surprised not one single teenaged boy in that ward knew how to do any of that.

Solution: Get permanent press. DW is unable to iron and drycleaning is expensive and I've tried but take too long.

No need to iron dress shirts:

1. Donate them to the thrift shop.
2. They wash and iron them, put them on the rack.
3. Buy 'em back for .50 each.

Sure, you loose one now and then, but you should buy a new shirt now and then anyway.

His first job in high school was for a men's wear store. One of his jobs was to iron everything and arrange displays. When he was in the Air Force he got in trouble, though... he just out of habit had a neat locker area, and the other guys picked on him for being so tidy, especially after the sergeant whatever held him up as a good example. The other guys thought he HAD to be gay.

My tbm dad was visiting without my mom and he NEVER does his own laundry. He asked me if I would do it for him even though he is perfectly capable. I just told him, sorry I don't do laundry, my husband does it, but you are more than welcome to ask him to do your laundry. Amazingly that week my dad learned to do it. Apparently asking his son in law would've been too emasculating.

What kind of iron cost's the equivalent of purchased lunches for an entire year?

I don't care what year it is either....no iron cost's that much. I can't find one for more than $90 on line. Assuming lunch was $1, the iron would cost $260 for 5 lunches a week for a year.

I call BS on that story....not that she had to iron in pain while the men did nothing about it, but that the iron cost as much as lunch for a year.

Still, it's crap

It can also be used instead of ironing. I can see how it could cost a lot of money.
google it -- mangle ironer

Must disagree. The Ironrite became popular following WWII and many of my mom's contemporaries had them. Have a look.

Making a New Day Out of Tuesday (Part I) (1946)

http://archive.org/details/MakingaN1946

" noble" wife can throw the " mangle iron" at " unnoble" husband's head , therewith making him " noble'...

I think that is how it works...

If I'm not mistaken, USMC Drill Sargeants do all their impeccable ironing.

Seriously! Hasn't anyone ever thrown a wet towel in the dryer with the wrinkled stuff?!! In our house if it doesn't come out of the dryer "ironed", it get's donated! But maybe even that task would be benieth some men. (I used to have an "ironing basket"...my husband called it the "abyss")

I told my never-mo wife about this thread, and she said it had to be a spoof. NOBODY would make up a story like that and present it in praise of the husband.

So I looked for the actual talk. Here it is:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/let-us-be-men?lang=eng

That was 2006. My TBM sister still rants about this talk. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

must have been pretty lunches (not knowing the price) that the guy was foregoing...

must have been pretty lunches (not knowing the price) that the guy was foregoing...

Guy was 'A Hero' for making laundry easier. Got It.