I was never the strongest, fastest, or most popular of my peers growing up, but I always prided myself with being honest. I never fooled myself into thinking that I was the only honest man in a world for of liars, but I have told the truth when it has greatly pained me.

One of the things that really bothers me though is when I relay false information, either because I am confused by the facts, or in the case of Mormonism I had been taught lies that I repeated.

Worse, on occasion, I have been faced with a knowledge that the official facts of Mormonism did not add up with the undeniable facts that stood before me. At such times, rather then admit to myself Mormonism was false, I tried instead to come up with some half-assed theory that would bridge the gap between the two truths. I was a Mormon apologist, and I blabbed the stupid theories that I came up with, as if they were the truth. I believed they were the truth, and it made me a liar.

I unknowingly became something I despised, a liar. Now that I have discovered the truth, I am faced with the dilemma of staying silent on the subject, or speaking up for the sake of my own good name. I still make mistakes. I still occasionally get my facts wrong, which has been helpfully pointed out to me a time or two on this board, but I am honestly trying to be honest now.

Now don't get me wrong. I think there is a major difference between someone who unknowingly repeats a lie that they think is true, and someone who constantly makes up lies. The thing is, there comes a point, where you are refusing to see the truth, as many Mormon leaders are doing today. When that happens, I believe you have a moral problem, and that is my point. Willful blindness, a refusal to look at facts or to even consider other possibilities, at a certain point becomes a sin. Well, if sin actually does exist, but that is a topic for another day.

Elder Holland, is that you?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 01:13AM by bbstephanbb.

Actually the honesty issue is a big one for me since I left the church. You see so much dishonesty from your lds peer that you want to be as honest as possible in the future. I actually see this as good after leaving mormonism. I don't think it is possible to be a TBM and be truely honest about what you believe. There are just too many hoops that you have to go through to believe it.

i understand what you mean. i too had a certain pride that i was an honest person. and in order to keep my self-worth and self-esteem in terms of honesty i had to leave the cult.


the problem is that we DO NOT want to believe the level of deception. when we begin to realize the truth about mormonism, we try to justify, rationalize, whatever it takes to make it work. we try and try; harder every day.

then the truth comes full force...then we post here.

we got caught up on a big swindle. the problem is not us. it's them. we were just investors in the greatest ponzi scheme i ever knew.

This was a huge problem for me after I went through some therapy. I couldn't go along to get along. There were a lot of people who had a problem with that.

A good example would be visiting teaching. My experience was that most of the women didn't want you there. My own VT un knowingly left a message on my answering machine saying what she thought about me. She thought she had hung up, but hadn't. That's when I knew vt was not a good thing. The other side of the coin was the women also didn't want to be there. When I realized this, I called the RSP and told her I no longer wanted VT. However I still went out and did my assignment. I only did that a few times before I told her I wouldn't be doing that any more either. She asked my why, I told them that I felt it wasn't a good program, and why. I don't think I was believed. She thought I just wanted to get out of vt.

It was a huge burden off of me when they stopped coming over. It was even better when I stopped going. I was more or less shunned by the women after that.

You just reminded me of another dilemma. Keeping the temple oaths. Now I did swear to them, even if it was under manipulation and control. However, I resolved this issue by realizing that while it would be a small break in honor to break my temple vowels, it would be an even larger slight to my honor if I stayed in the church, and helped them promote their lies. In the end, I decided it made more sense to be honest with my fellow man, then with an imaginary being.

I just mention this, because there is a stage a lot of lurkers might be going through were they feel the church is not perfect, but they still swore an oath to support it.

That is a funny thing about being a mormon- you must be honest and forthright in all your dealings, except when speaking about the church.

The moment it hit me that the BoA was all a made up fake and the leaders KNEW that, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of their lies.

The first thought I had was, these are the people who demand the truth from me about every aspect of my life, and they have been lying to me on a massive scale for my entire life. Going to church is where I learned how important it is to tell the truth. No matter what. Apparently the 15 didn't believe a word of what they preached.

From there on out I haven't believed a word that comes out ot their mouths. I don't care what kind of mental gymnastics they do. They are liars. They know they are liars. They continue to be liars. My entire life has been consumed by them and their lies. I felt so betrayed and so victimized. I have been robbed of so much. I don't want anyone else to waste another moment of their life feeding into the lies and theft that the church is based on. Their foundation is rotten and the shell is only a Hollywood facade.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 01:43PM by Mia.

My dear departed Dad, was a staunch believer in the MORG (EQP, HP, HC), was a hard working farmer and cattleman, a fabulous, loving husband, father and grandfather and very trusting individual always wanting to help others....and then a MORG "friend" who we found out later had misrepresented the facts of the situation repeatedly got him to invest in a shady real estate development that broke him, both financially and spiritually. He lived for another 11 years after this sad event and was never the same. He had helped out others TBM's who needed a bit of money to get by but none ever paid him back and were angry when asked when they'd clear their debt. The MF'er "friend" never attended his funeral, or ever expressed his regret for the underhanded manner in which he had treated Dad. He is now selling cars in Edmonton, Alberta.....Dad is not the only person he's screwed in the past...including members of his own family. I hear from a lot of people that they don't like to do business with Mormons. No wonder....

I have two family members who are both thieves and liars. The older one taught the younger one. They robbed my father, my uncle, my brother, my cousins, and me. They are still going strong. They have both been in the bishopric, and brag about that. They still brag about their missions. They are deadbeats, and always "between jobs" or "retired" at age 40.

My TBM Mormon Royalty family covers for them, and gives them money, so they can keep up their image. My own parents told me to these creeps. My relatives have included them in the family business, which is now in bad trouble, with lawsuits. A couple of years ago, I started feeling guilt by association, and decided that I could not be a part of any business run by crooks. I pulled out of the family financially and emotionally--in the nick of time!

My first boss, and mentor, who held a high position in Salt Lake City, used to say to me: "Never do business with Mormons."

yeah, mormonism teaches potentially good people how to become the best liars and sleazy bullshitters on the planet.

people like holland and monson like to act tough, but they are not men, BECAUSE A REAL MAN IS HONEST IN HIS DEALINGS WITH HIS FELLOW MAN.

I hate that Mormonism has forced me to be less honest with my own family than I am in the rest of my life. I am the only black sheep, and apparently I am the only one with the intellectual curiosity to really look into the truth about Mormon history, practices, and doctrine. The slightest mention of anything outside of the family's fixed mindset causes so much trouble, that I can't even talk to them. So I become complicite in the lying by avoiding the subject. I escaped very early in life, so this isn't really about me. I hate their church, because I love my family. Mormonism inspires me to believe in primal scream! I will be seriously depressed if Mitt Romney wins the presidency. I show everyone I know pictures of Mitt and Ann in their holy underwear as part of my own campaign against him.
P.S. I don't check in here very often anymore, but I have great regard for all of you on the board. Alice