Is anyone else annoyed by the extremes Mormons (particularly the women) will go to in order cover up every inch of their bodies? I recently saw a picture on facebook of some Mormon girls who had taken a trip to Hawaii. They all had on very cute, classy, strapless dresses that are exactly the type of clothing you would want to wear in a hot place like Hawaii. Yet lo and behold, they stuffed black Hanes t-shirts and leggings under their dresses. These are beautiful girls with nice figures, and they should be having fun on the beach instead of worrying about whether or not their shoulders are covered!! And besides, WHO THE HELL WANTS TO WEAR BLACK T-SHIRTS AND LEGGINGS IN HAWAII?!?!?!!

Modesty is JUST ONE of the spiritual Red-Herrings that ChurchCo uses; it's a ruse to keep people Away from the Core Essentials of Christ-Like living:

Love for God & neighbor

Golden Rule

parable of the Good Samaritan

hardly any substance other than the Q guys struggling to keep Mormons in the late 19th (or 20th) century.

Believe in the myth or suffer eternally. Brought to you by your all-loving sky bully.

Yes, I find this very annoying! It doesn't look flattering AT ALL. They're all united in it though so to them it's "cute" and "normal." Just like traditional polygamist women and their homely dresses and hairstyles. I am male and this time of year I enjoy wearing tank tops, I get weird looks all of the time from Mormons. Why are they afraid of people in tank tops?! I don't have tattoos, nor do I smoke. I am clean cut and in really good shape...so the only thing I can think of is that they disprove of me wearing tank top since in their effed up minds I should be wearing garments. I don't get it. I just feel sad whenever I see Mormons because I KNOW deep down they're not happy...if they were they wouldn't be judging everyone else around them like they do. I've lived out of Utah and let me tell you, I have never experienced as much judgmental looks and hate than in Utah. The people "act" happy, but they're all in such a mind-f**k...most aren't happy because they don't know how to be happy. They just know how to pretend to be happy. I know because when I was Mormon that's how I was. Plus most Mormons women I know are on anti depressants...and a few Mormons men I know are too. To get out, you have to really want out.

Modesty of dress is a cultural norm. The fact that Mormon girls feel the need to put T-shirts and leggings under ordinary sundresses shows just how much the Mormon church is out of touch with the modern mainstream U.S. culture.

I could see if the church encouraged modesty of dress by advising girls not to wear short shorts, hot pants, miniskirts, or anything too clinging. The church could also reasonably specify that shoulders should be covered during church services and temple ceremonies. Appropriate dress could be encouraged and praised, but the specificity of the church demands for everyday dress comes off as being very controlling. The demands imposed by the wearing of garments contributes to the controlling atmosphere.

Excessive church demands for modesty of dress also have very little to do with what is in a person's heart. It is putting a disproportionate emphasis on what should be a relatively minor matter.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Excessive church demands for modesty of dress also
> have very little to do with what is in a person's
> heart. It is putting a disproportionate emphasis
> on what should be a relatively minor matter.

that priniciple 'doesn't get much mileage' in Mormonism...

Bible Warns against too much focus on the Outward Appearances. it's in Samuel, I believe (bible Gateway finds it easily)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2012 06:37PM by guynoirprivateeye.

I totally agree with you Summer.

We've been under a heat advisory here in AZ for the past few days since it's been over 110 degrees. I see these TBM women suffering covered in all those layers. Gosh, it's hard to remember being in such a mental and emotional prison where I couldn't even choose to wear a cool sundress on a 110 plus degree day.

There is too much emphasis on modesty. It's stupid and not from the heart. Just another rule to follow. Just another way to control the sheep. Just another distraction from what Christ really cared about and taught.

On men and women. Maybe I'm just picking up on all the people who were headed out to the lake. I did see a couple of full length sun dresses, but the tops were skinny straps and halters. The women in them did them justice.

On the women wearing shorts, most of them were mid-thigh or shorter. Men seem to universally wear long basketball style shorts. Most of the people were early to mid 20s, so possibly they aren't temple married, so no garments. But modesty definitely seemed to be taking a back seat to "OMG, it's so damned hot."

I know of a woman who has like 10 kids under the age of 13, mostly little girls. There are many pictures on her blog of the girls in pretty sundresses, all with tee shirts and leggings under them. Come on, even the 2 and 3 year olds' shoulders are covered up.

I attend a singles ward and of the dresses I see, maybe half are decently cute. Then of those cute dresses, 85% of them are ruined by leggings and or shirt under it or ugly sweater over. It's not like it's immodest, its that to them it is. And while I think women can be beautiful in all kinds of clothing, I really think that it sucks because some of these girls probably have great fashion senses, but are force to a small portion of what is available.

Topics like these, (well and the hot midwest weather) make me want to go put on a tank-top when I go out...

of me in my "apostate-wear", my sister-in-law will post something really nice about how great I look all the time. I feel sad that she can't wear clothes that make her feel that way about herself. Even though she's committed to modesty for herself, it's really clear that it's a sacrifice for her. She'd probably really enjoy dressing like a normal woman.

There's a billboard for a Ut county company on the southbound I-15...as SOON as you cross the border from SL county to Ut County talking about a clothing company called "Mod Bod".

It has a picture of an attractive girl wearing a t-i-g-h-t blouse with long sleeves. No cleavage or shoulder is showing but apparrently weqaring a tight blouse showing off a nice rack of 36-CC breats is modest....

Last summer that same billboard said "Welcome to Mod-bod County." How freaking embarassing. BTW, I think the current model on the billboard must be sporting at least Ds... I mean those boobs are huge, but hey they are covered up :-)

LOL VERY BAD: https://www.facebook.com/pages/LDS-Women-of-God/246857822113
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cute-Modest-Mormon-Girls/133006733409612

https://www.facebook.com/ldsmodestmusic

Leggings are stylish and many non Mormon girls wear them too. However, I agree with feeling forced to wear them in hot weather just to be 'modest.'I agree that modesty has its place, but to be so consumed by it as t he Mormons are is ridiculous.

They like looking different. It makes them feel more special than your average human. Just like the guy who goes around with a water bottle all day at the office, swigging water and never having coffee or soda. It makes him feel just that much more schpeshall.
However maybe those girls just put those things on for the Facebook photo then took them off afterward. :)



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2012 08:44PM by suckafoo.

Leggings are actually pretty cute, and it's something I intend to keep in my post-Mormon wardrobe for days when I feel like wearing them (not because I HAVE to). Although I'd love to start wearing sleeveless things, I feel really self-conscious when I try.

I try not to think too badly of TBM women for covering up, though. The pressure to conform is still fresh in my mind. People tend to stare or send you home from activities if you don't dress in a way that's considered "appropriate" (I know this from experience).

More than anything, I feel bad for them, especially when it's hot outside.

I like how a lot of convert women I know had gone from a wardrobe where nothing is sacred, to posting on TBM boyfriend's FB wall: "Hey, honey...I'm coming to visit...but all I packed are gym shorts...they're not modest, I'm afraid."

COME ON!!! It's like, two months ago, they didnt give a hint of a damn...then all of a sudden, they're clucking at me because I wear a sleeveless shirt.

My outdoor summer clothes are UGLY (although I'm going to look for more flattering stuff after I lose weight).

Oh, I cover from head to toe because I have photodermatitis. I get a rash from sun exposure. My supposedly "valiant" white skin can't handle the sun. So much for white skin being superior. :)

I have always been annoyed by the modesty rule. I remember when my sister was dating this guy, and everytime he would come over to our house he would check me out constantly. I was mostly wore jeans and a tank top. Then my sister came to me after he left and asked if I could wear something more appropriate because apparently my bare shoulders were giving him a raging boner. I said, "I'm not about to wear sweaters in my own home in the middle of the summer because your bf cant keep his thoughts straight." It should not be a woman's responsibility to make sure a man's thoughts are pure. If a man wants to picture you naked, he can no matter what you're wearing.

I remember five years ago, when my husband's ex-stepson and his now wife visited us at Thanksgiving. Ex-stepson's then girlfriend complained about ex-stepson's current stepfather, who had given her a talking to about her clothes. He said he wanted her to dress more modestly.

This young lady was 19 years old at the time, had a cute figure and a pretty face, and was NOT dressed like a ho. It was my feeling that my husband's fat, crazy, paranoid ex-wife realized that her much younger and probably sex-starved husband was probably eyeballing the young lady and having lustful thoughts about her. I would bet money that she put him up to talking to her about her "inappropriate attire". Incidentally, the young lady told me that at the time of her "talking to" she was wearing the same outfit she had on at our house... jeans, a tank top, and a loose fitting sweater over the tank. It was by no means slutty looking at all.

I agree that it's not the woman's responsibility to prevent men from getting "raging boners". Men should be in control of themselves and their "lustful" thoughts.

...and now that the young lady has taken the plunge and married my husband's ex-stepson, I can only feel sorry for her. She has some difficult times ahead of her.

If it weren't for the fledgling pair of bingo wings my mother's genes cursed me with, I'd totally go sleeveless. I like mid thigh shorts on me though!
I don't like looking at my arms, I can't see why anyone else would either.

While on Sunday, us kids were dressed to temple standards(mini garments made of boys tshirts and bloomers, with tights and slip under whatever dress went to knees and elbows), I also had several tank tops as a child for non Sunday wear.
Once I hit my teens, I was tsked at for my clothing choices, but nothing was verbalized to me about why my choices were "bad", I was just supposed to know somehow.

Thanks for the shame, mom.

I never liked the modesty thing, since it's not a woman's responsibility to prevent men from "raging boners" since it's the man's responsibility to control himself when around the opposite gender. If a man thinks a child's shoulders or kneecaps are a turn-on, then he should never be allowed around children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/04/2012 02:29PM by adoylelb.

What I hate about mormon modesty is that it SCREAMS:" Look at ME!LOOK how MODEST I am!!!" It's actually CALLING attention to the modesty which is what annoys me so much. It's as though those black t-shirts are a badge of honor to them.

If a neckline is too low, a nice pretty lacy camisole would look so much more natural and pretty than an awkward ill-fitting T-shirt


If they really really really want to do the whole top under a sundress thing, then seriously can't they find a pretty short sleeve ballerina top in a coordinating color?

Honestly I think that with a lot of Mormon girls/women it's a matter of them showing off how modest they are by calling attention to themselves with that horrid clashing t-shirt under everything. This drives my TBM sister nuts too.. she can't stand the "black t-shirt under everything" look.. My sister frequently adds little tulip sleeves and it looks like the dress came that way. She's also been known to sew a few cascading chains of cloth flowers/accents to cover her shoulders and add a few of the accents elsewhere on the dress so the flowers on the shoulders don't look out of place. I've never once seen her sporting the Mormon-Modest frump look. She has a fabulous sense of style and I'm sure that none of the "gentiles" even notice that she "dresses modestly" because the way she does not call attention to it.

It's not really modesty if you are doing it to get attention, or to show everyone how much better you are then them. The root word in modesty in modest, and really means going out of your way to not offend or show off. Mormons are the most immodest people in the world.

Well said :)

Absolutely!

"No way we're a cult."

all arguments for acceptance of nudity.

paying attention to ppl because of their clothing (or, lack of it) is superficial; only in Extreme cases (who am I to judge?) does it reflect something 'of the heart (mind)'.

Now I see it as something much worse than annoying.

It's promoting the idea that women are responsible for men's bad behavior.

Modesty teaches people to blame the victim.

Mormon modesty is not modest.

Modest: adjective
1.
having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.
2.
free from ostentation or showy extravagance: a modest house.
3.
having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent: a modest neckline on a dress.
4.
limited or moderate in amount, extent, etc.: a modest increase in salary.

Yet Mormon modesty is a perversion. It is not humble (it is always talking about itself and how important it is to cover up) it over exaggerates it's importance, it is highly pretentious and boastful. It does not regard nor show respect for societal mores, norms, or decency but seeks to present itself as the only acceptable mode of dress for both adherents and non-adherents. And it is not limited in amount or extent...it knows no bounds. You can find leaders spouting off about modesty to sunbeams in sundresses or adult women in flipflops.

Mormon modesty is decidedly unmodest.

The emphasis on "modesty" is quite hilarious, coming from a cult whose founder had 25 wives and whose successor managed to bed 55 women.

Hypocrites much?

to me. She refuses to wear the t-shirts under a dress and finds nice fashionable sweaters, etc., to go over them. I don't know what she'd wear in Hawaii--but I kind of think it wouldn't be THAT modest as she went to the Caribbean last fall and wore spaghetti strap sun dresses.

What is really sad is that I was very modest, but dressed fashionable, but I went to Hawaii on my honeymoon and wore long pants and tops that would cover my garments--during a drought. Having just started wearing garments, I was in misery.

These girls--while they are young and it is almost effortless to look good and be thin, they cover it all up. I sure wish I could go back to the body I had in my 20s and dress less modest.

It starts very early (in this case, age 4):

Hannah's New Dress

https://www.lds.org/friend/2011/06/hannahs-new-dress?lang=eng&query=dress


(I've been lurking for awhile; I hope it's ok to jump in.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2012 01:00PM by ellenl.

Hello ellenl! Of course it's ok for you to jump in.. in fact it's great! Welcome to the board.

That story made me sick. Aren't children wonderful? They care more about happiness than pride, they care more about how much the sun shines compaired to how hot it's making the day to be, and they dont care much for clothing or nakedness. They are what they are! and they are not ashamed of it or use it for manipulation or abuse. They are wonderful little beigs that become destroyed by people who guilt and shame her like the mother in this story.

Why would God design us to be in his image just to have his image hidden?

I agree that they're trying to draw attention to their "modesty." If a sundress is immodest, why wear it at all? Why not wear something else entirely, like a blouse with sleeves and a higher neckline, plus a skirt. It's like they're trying to find ways around the rules - a sundress is "immodest", but if I wear leggings and a t-shirt with it I can still wear one.

Reminds me of when I was at BYU and they'd show R-rated movies at the Varsity theater that were the edited version shown on airlines. Supposedly since the "bad" words were beeped out it was suddenly ok to watch R-rated movies.

I'm sure all of you can point out other areas where mormons try to see how close they can get to "sinning" without actually "sinning." If you believe in something, stick by your principles - don't split hairs over what you can get away with.

I'm so much happier out of the cult - I can dress however I want, watch whatever movies I want, etc.

+ 100

This convo is soo heart breaking to me! I did the whole covering up thing when i had a fairly rocking bod through college, now after a few kids and a big weight gain - seriously no one would want to see it! lol so now i'm stuck covering up! :( trying to lose it for the summer but it will still never be a pretty site! meh! those wasted years!

Roxy, don't be so hard on yourself, for gods sake...you've had several children! I struggle with weight and have all my life, but who cares what people think if YOU like what you wear.

I've mentioned in previous postings that it seems to me that Mormon women go out of their way to look "frumpy", but who cares what I think anyway? I see women in the church who wear really baggy clothes, no makeup, no hair color or styling of any kind, "Mom shoes" (the hideous 1" or 2" heel), etc. dressing and feeling attractive is not all about weight...

Most of the women I see in church seem to pride themselves on just HOW LITTLE they put into their appearance, at church anyway.
I personally dont get it then if they complain about other women who DO take the extra 15 minutes it takes to put on age appropriate attractive clothing, contact lenses, a little makeup, shoes & clothes that don't age them 30 years, a decent hair cut/color every 4 months or so....it's not about money, it's about feeling good in the body you're in right now.

Could care less about comments I occasionally get for wearing a halter dress (HET, IT'S FLORIDA, IT'S HOTTTTT!!!), 4"heels, makeup, contacts, etc....and it's always the church WOMEN who may make a comment or give me the "evil eye" that we women give to only other women....

I don't comment on their LACK of trying to look a little attractive, feminine, whatever, but then I don't get the remarks that come my way for DOING that 15 minutes before I walk into church or work or wherever. I happen to LOVE 4" stilettos, and no, they don't hurt any more than "toe shoes" I wear in ballet class that everyone thinks are so beautiful. Now THEY hurt..
Stilletos are NOTHING to anyone who ever took ballet classes (and yes, I am 53 yrs old and still take ballet classes even with the extra 30lbs I'v gained over the years).

We all know with LDS it's simply a control thing, that's all it ever has been. Now look in your closet and put on something you FEEL GOOD ABOUT WEARING. Clothes, heels and hair and makeup are fun to me....

....remember the old song from the plat "South Pacific"??"I Enjoy Being A Girl"!!!!!