So, I used to be in a ward with Brother One-Man-Band. As full tithe-payers, he and his wife have been so blessed financially that in addition to his day-job, he has often been able to find supplemental gigs about town singing in his wobbly, churchy, overly-vibratoed voice and playing the hits of the 40's, 50's and 60's on his electronic keyboard at the finer establishments of our region (Panera Bread, for example). I know this because he reminded us in F&T meeting monthly (at least).

Back when we were in the same ward, Brother One-Man-Band and his wife got into some financial-planning pyramid scheme. I used to work in insurance and financial services, so I knew right away that this was something to STAY AWAY FROM. He and his wife offered to help us plan for our future and get out of debt. The thing is, we didn't have any debt. The reason our car is crap is because we paid it off asap and hadn't had a car payment in years. We weren't having to hit up church members with desperate part-time financial schemes either. I was young at the time (twenty four) but even then I wasn't going to get financial advice from someone who has to resort to get-rich-quick pyramid-scheming. Anyway, they pressured us for months until we had to be blunt, and later I discovered a few friends (unrelated to church) they had also approached. I'm happy to say that I saved at least three people from their clutches.

Anyway, all that to say that I've been steering clear of Brother One-Man-Band and his wife (or trying to) for over ten years because of this.

Last time I ran into Brother OMB a few years ago, he tried to book my band for a ward function. I suspected that he thought we'd be so grateful for a gig, we'd show up for free, so I left no room for confusion. I told him I didn't handle our booking and directed him to the office that did. Of course nothing ever came of it. It annoyed me that he thought we'd just come and play for free at a church function. This has happened many times. In fact it happens every time I run into him.

I wasn't active at the time at all. I don't know why he thought it was a good idea. The ward doesn't ask a dentist to come fill cavities for free at a ward activity.

The latest Mormon Moment with Brother OMB occurred today.

Apparently Brother OMB is over his financial scheming and has gone back to the life of a musician (in addition to his day job). He plays a regular gig at some deli and has been having a great time. This is good. It's honest work and he seems to be happy about it. Today, after enthusing about this amazing musical experience he is having lately, he asked me if I was still playing in a band. I said yes, that in fact, the reason I'm in town at all (I've moved) is that we're booked for a gig at the such-and-such theatre and that it's being taped by some tv crew for regional broadcast.

Brother OMB congratulated me and offered to further our careers by letting us share his stage at the deli. He called it a "Special Showcase". I responded without thinking: "We're kind of big. I'm not sure you'd want to cut that much out of your check." He responded sheepishly "Yeah, this would be a freebie-type performance," and I said "Yeah, I don't think I could talk the guys into that unless it was for a charity event." He quickly made his goodbyes.

Now, it wasn't until I got in my car and hit the road that I realized that what I said was probably taken differently than what I meant, and for good reason. When I said "We're kind of big," what I MEANT was that we're a seven-piece band (versus, say a trio). We're big personnel-wise. I DID NOT mean "We're too famous to share a stage with you". I'm nowhere near famous, but I am lucky enough to have work. Anyway, I had a good chuckle, because that is SO NOT how I wanted to come across.

Then it occurred to me that after all these years and the MANY times I have turned down opportunities to play for free he STILL thinks that asking me to provide PROFESSIONAL services for FREE amounts to offering some hand of fellowship on his part. WTF?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2012 10:04PM by angsty.