1. The morg does not always stop contacting those who resign. Anyone who hates contact probably should resign because it does often eliminate the harassment, but not always.
2. There has never been an official church-wide no-contact list. Local wards or stakes sometimes honor such requests at the whim of the bish or SP, but being on a temporary list of this kind does not mean that you won't be contacted. Most wards have a policy that they need to contact everyone on their roster several times a year to ask them if they still want no contact.
3. It's wrong to suggest that a church has any legal right to harass anyone, member or not. Everyone in a free society has a legal right to tell a church that they will NOT participate in every program offered. Good grief, not every member is legally required to pay a full tithe, see only G-rated movies, and wear magic underwear to bed. Those are just organizational rules, NOT legal requirements.
The same is true of HTers, VTers, fast offering beggars, missionaries, and bishops. You're the boss of your home or apartment. You can legally prevent anyone of your choice from entering your property.
How? By telling them or their church leaders that they're UNwelcome. Then if they come back, they're trespassers and can be hosed and/or arrested.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/10/2010 09:41AM by Cheryl.
After an upsetting visit from some tactless missionaries (I guess they're probably all tactless to an extent) when I was in high school, my older sister asked a neighbor to put our family on a list for no-contact from missionaries. We didn't get any more visits for a couple years, then had some stop by soon after the bishopric changed. My sister asked the neighbor about it, and she admitted that there really was no permanent list and since the bishopric had changed they didn't know we didn't want visitors.
Here's where my tact came in handy. I ASKED to be excommunicated for heresy and when I was (42 days later), then I never once was contacted again. EVER! It's been 15 years now.
I'm not saying that resignation doesn't give you some sort of satisfaction (like unto resigning a job instead of being fired), but my way has some advantages.
The church intruders said they were giving the exmos a chance to rejoin since being exed suggested that they had been dumped and resignation would have indicated they wanted not further contact.
My conclusion? It's up to locals. There's no churchwide policy dictacting what will happen in either case.
It does seem to start happening to me again after the bishops change, but I haven't been assigned any new home teachers yet with the new bishop, although the bishop (who used to live nextdoor to us, but moved to a new house 2 blocks away) stopped and invited my ex back to church. He promised my daughter he wouldn't bother me.
We did get carolers the other night. I was SO IN THE MOOD for some cookies. Nope. Apples. I was so disappointed.
I really don't think much about the love bombing anymore. I just don't think much about it.
OTOH, a "Do Not Contact" note at the ward that has your records is susceptible to being misplaced, not noticed, or just plain ignored, especially when leadership changes, which happens on a regular basis.
I you resign, unless part of your household are still members, you're pretty much off their radar, at least until you die, at which point some family member may try to re-save you. Gaack.
In fact, of the three (being dead, do not contact, and resignation), being dead is probably the least effective way to keep Mormons away from you. "Do not contact" is next, and resignation is the most effective way to get Mormons off your back.
SLC has specifically instructed ward leaders that there is to be NO "do not contact" list. I will look for the email this weekend and post the source next week.
I quit attending Mormon meetings in 1959 when I was 17 years old. I moved to a different house four different times and for twenty years nobody from the Morg contacted me. Then one Sunday morning in 1979 I got a phone call at home from one of the local Bishop's henchmen. He said "the Bishop wants to meet with you today at 2:00 p.m. in his office." That call really caught me off guard.
I thought about it for a minute without saying much, and then I told the caller this: "I can't think of any reason why I would want to speak with the Bishop. If at some time in the future I have a change of mind and I actually want to speak with him, then I know how to contact him. Otherwise, I do not want to hear from you or the Bishop or any representatives of the Church ever again. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
The caller must have been very surprised to have been told so bluntly not to call again. We said goodbye and that was the last I ever heard from them.
Fifteen years later in 1994 I sent in a letter of resignation and that was processed within two months. I spoke to the Bishop one time on the phone as part of that resignation, which was okay with me.
I had changed jobs and moved a thousand miles. About two weeks after moving in we were visited by two missionaries who were looking for "TheDrive" family. Amazing. I pled ignorance but they were persistent and told us that this is the address that they had on their records. They even knew our kids' names and asked if our son, who was sitting in the living room, was ******, calling him by name.
We sent them on their way but it was creepy. We had been out for 7 years by then and they still knew who we were and where we lived.
On another wonderful note we just started receiving mailings from Deseret Book. If I find out who did it, I'm going to buy them a subscription to Hustler.
Never underestimate the amount of effort put into tracking members who "have strayed". After my mission I was inactive so the church contacted my TBM parents asking for my new address. My folks will do anything the church asks, so I received 1) a worried call from my father who did not know I was inactive, and 2) a call from the Branch pres of the singles ward near my home.
I did not step into a ward building for another few years until I was dating my TBM wife-to-be. Now I do what I like (my wife and clerking) and nothing else.