I got to thinking about this question, while reading the thread on divorce rates.


In that thread, they were talking about how LDS young people are pressured into marrying early, and how that takes a toll on a marriage, and probably increases civil divorce rates (even among those who marry in the temple).


I don't think anybody would argue the point that marrying at an older age helps. As somebody pointed out in the divorce thread, young people in their late teens-early twenties change alot during those years, and it is best if they go through those natural changes first, and then marry.


But what other things make for a strong marriage, behind marrying at a later age?

While my marriage is far from perfect, overall, I'd rate it as a good one. I feel pretty certain that my DH would as well. If he weren't sleeping late this lazy Saturday morning, I'd ask him.


What do I think makes my marriage stronger?


Well, here's a few of my thoughts:


1, Yes, we waited till we were 30 (me) and 32 (DH) to get married.


2, We both had completed our educations before we married.


3, We both had steady incomes, and both had the ability to support ourselves before we tied the knot. Just as important, we both felt confident that we COULD support ourselves, before we got married.

When we married, joining incomes was a nice thing.


4, We didn't have our first (and ONLY) child until we had a financial nest egg in place, plus sufficient medical insurance to handle the expenses that growing a growing boy brings into a family. We were also fortunate in that our boy was born healthy, and other than the normal bumps and bruises that a little boy can develop over the years, there were no real health issues or injuries to stress our lives. The worst thing to happen, medically speaking, was when our son needed tubes in his ears at about age 3.

We made enough money to sock away for his college, and taught him to work. So between our financial help and his own work, he got through school without student loans, and is now pursuing his own successful life. (And no, girls, he's not married yet.)

He didn't want to serve a mission, and even though we were still active in the church when he hit mission age, we didn't believe we should force him to do what he plainly did not want to do. Now that I read this website, I'm so glad that we didn't push the issue with him.

How does my son relate to the strength of our marriage?

Well, because we were able to do right by him as he grew up, he is now a stable young man who supports himself. I think that folks who have a lot of children find it harder to do right by them, and as a result, the kids are more needy when they hit adult hood -- thus putting more strain on their parents and their parents marriage.


5, My husband and I go out once every week for a date. We have done that every week since we first got married almost 30 years ago. Even when our son was a baby, we took time out for each other.

6, Financial problems are the single biggest cause of divorce, according to financial radio guru Dave Ramsey. Dave encourages couples to work together on the monthly budget, and both the husband and wife discuss and then agree on what to do with the family dollars.

We were doing this long before Dave Ramsey wrote his first book, or taped his first radio broadcast.

And it works. I think that working together with the finances -- and not paying years of tithing -- is why we have prospered financially over the years.

7, I respect my husband.

And he respects me.

I do not always agree with the things he does, or the things he says.

And he doesn't always agree with the things I do, or the things I say.

But we make it a point to separate our disapproval of a specific thing that the other says or does, from our general feelings about our spouse.

That way, we can voice disapproval at the other's specific action, while still loving and respecting each other.

8, We do lots of things together. Especially now that our son is grown and gone.

We bowl together, go on picnics together, garden together, tend to our chickens together, play games together. These are all inexpensive or free things, but we can do them together, and they are relaxing things, so they help us to share relaxing time together.





Well, those are a few of the things I can think of right now, that helps us to have a stronger marriage.

I can't, for the life of me, figure out how to edit something after it has been transmitted.


But I was unclear under point #6 above: We did pay tithing for most of our marriage (boy how I wish we could get back all that money!)


But I think that it was the fact that my husband and I carefully budgeted our money together, that was the real reason why we prospered financially, even during the lean years when money was tight.


It wasn't some magical blessings that came from paying 10% to a corporation that masquerades as a church -- it was careful budgeting by both spouses working together that helped us to prosper.


If I got some crazy idea, my husband was there to help me sort it out before I spent alot of money on it.


And if he got some crazy idea, I was there to help him sort it out before he spent alot of money on it.


You can avoid alot of financial mistakes if you have to get the idea past another person before you spend the money.


It is a system we've used for almost 30 years now, and IT WORKS!

Me and my wife did everything wrong...she got pregnant at 17 (I was 19) We got married.....fast forward 12 years. I love my wife more than anything. I will say that I was damn lucky. My wife is very laid back. While you can always better a relationship, I am happy, we have fun. 4 kids later I would not go back and change a thing. As far as advice on a good marriage...I don't freaking know marry a girl that recognizes drama when she sees it and avoids it like the plague. Have fun and focus on the two of you...in the end your partner is the only one that matters. Your family (meaning your parents and brothers and sisters) and her family come second or somethimes 3rd or 4th lol.

Well, first of all, marry a Catholic like it did...39 years ago TODAY...then you won't have consternation with your spouse over not reading the BofM, the WOW, garments and why they suck, etc.,