I've prayed to who I thought all my life was someone or something that was out there listening and hopefully caring. But you know what? There was always a moment when I would stop for a second and try to emotionally "feel" for anything coming back at me in any form of communication. Never, ever did anything "come back" in any other form but my own thoughts. Other people may think that they are getting some kind of guidance or spiritual nudges now and again. And that is their right and I respect that. But for me it has always felt, now and in retrospect, like a one sided conversation with myself. I will always feel thankfulness and appeciation for my life and what's in it. But last night I just couldn't do it anymore. Saying goodbye to my spiritual and emotional safety blanket is somewhat liberating but served with a twist of extreme sadness and an uneasy feeling of vulnerability. Thanks for reading.

I'm with you all the way. I tried it, over the years, though I hated it, but I never felt ANYTHING. EVER. You're "praying" to the blanket on the bed, really - I don't believe anyone is out there hearing and answering any prayers whatsoever, and it does far more good to just get up, roll up the proverbial sleeves, and get to work. Congrats on freeing yourself from a stifling, manipulative concept that only sets us up for failure.

It is kind of a terrifying moment
When you realize you have been praying to a fairytale/ yourself.
I started meditating and asking my "higher self", apologizing to "god"
for being selfish and placing my "conciousness" above god....
I started offering my prayers/ speaking to god or whatever being is out there, as my best friend.
Explaining to myself that even though I was afraid,
I knew that he/she/it would understand my predicament and
concerns, ( and my whole heart), as an omnipotent entity....
The moment I started to accept that I had the power to change my life...
My life changed.
It was an epiphany.
A moment of self acceptance and self-forgiveness
That I had searched for my entire life.
I realized that I didn't need a "brick and mortar"
church to commune with "god",
nor the "priestcrafthood",
And that "if" there was an" omnipotent diety",
He/she/it would forgive me for "mine unbelief", and show me the way/encourage me to find the truth.

Be gentle with yourself.
You are worthy of unconditional love and acceptance.
We are all innocent.
And I have come to know that we all, indeed,
Are worthy of kindness and freedom of thought.
Hang on, dear friend.
It will come out right in the end, even if we cannot see the end of the tunnel.
The dream of love, freedom, and peace of mind awaits you.
Just hold on a bit longer, the light is just around the bend...

Wise words indeed!! :)

I basically stopped praying when I was a kid. I only prayed if someone asked me too. (Also, I basically stopped reading any church related material, including the scriptures, unless asked too.) I felt like a hypocrite for being a Primary counselor when I 1) hadn't genuinely believed since I was a kid, 2) didn't pray, & 3) didn't even own a set of scriptures, as I had thrown mine away (no, they weren't leather).

Praying is only useful as a way to communicate with yourself and to gather your thoughts, etc. I think there is significant value in that for some people. I'm not one of them.

...when people do the type of praying where they "cast their burdens upon the Lord," it can allow them to let go of things that are troubling them and for which there is often nothing that can be done. But nonreligious people can accomplish the same thing without prayer. We can come to the realization that some things are just out of our control, or that anxiety isn't going to change anything. The difference is the nonreligious people don't imagine an invisible being is then taking care of things and that everything will work out for the best someday.

Also, there's a thing that can happen in the problem solving process. It's often exploited by people in creative occupations. We can concentrate intensely about a problem, running all the information, pros and cons, and possible solutions through our minds. Then, we just walk away from it for a while, turning the problem over to our subconscious. Usually, in the middle of doing something else, something that doesn't require a lot of thought, a solution will make its way into our conscious mind. The lightbulb will go on. Intense prayer can lead to the same thing. Intense concentration about the problem, followed by sleep or taking care of other things, and then, out of nowhere, presto, a "revelation."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2012 10:17AM by Stray Mutt.

I have had issues with praying for years. My baby sister was born with Cerebral Palsy and every night, without fail we had earnest family prayer to ask God for some improvement in her condition, and of course nothing happened and she passed away at age 3 1/2 years. That was 1959. My folks, especially Mom were gutted. She never quite got over it. And ever since, I have felt NOTHING when I prayed. I even resist saying grace at family gatherings. That's difficult because my son and his family and my wife, although not LDS are still believers in prayer.

Same thing happened to me when my beautiful little 4 year old sister died a lingering death in 1956 of kidney disease. I was just a little boy, but obviously god wasn't listening to me. Since then, I really haven't talked to him much, since he apparently could not have cared less. Or perhaps he isn't really there.. bingo!

This happened to me about 6 years ago. I had moved out of my parents' house, stopped going to church and stopped praying for the better part of 2 years. I had been having a really rough week, and one night I decided to pray - really pray. Halfway through the probably the most sincere prayer of my life, I thought to myself "This is f**king stupid." I haven't prayed since.

It was a very surreal experience.

I've never felt anything before, during or after I prayed that can match the joy I experience when someone thanks you for helping them out, or when you've given of yourself just because it feels so good or when your granddaughter tells you she loves you....

It can really be sad, terrifying, etc. Or, it can be thought of as a spiritual "transformation," in a way. This was the day you graduated from God. The day you realized that, yes, perhaps as scary as it is, there is no one looking out for you up there--but also, that the power is all yours. All that healing, comfort, etc. over the years? You had the power to do it for yourself and had full control over yourself and your destiny after all.

Maybe "heaven" is simply knowing you can do anything you really need to do for yourself.

Kind of like graduating from Santa Claus.

Personally, I always found more joy in the feeling that the gifts came from someone who cared enough to sacrifice for you. Way cooler and more gratifying than a dude just doing his job and dutifully bringing it to you! :)

flyboy21 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> the power is all yours. All
> that healing, comfort, etc. over the years? You
> had the power to do it for yourself and had full
> control over yourself and your destiny after all.
>
> Maybe "heaven" is simply knowing you can do
> anything you really need to do for yourself.


And that's what religion doesn't want believers to figure out.

...and the internets are making that truth more and more accessible daily.

I too found it unsettling to suddenly find myself without my all-powerful wingman, otherwise known as God.

It's been a few months since I came to the same realization, and began to accept that it's ok. However, it's also plain to me that there is a larger reality in which we exist, and unseen forces that shape our lives. I just think of it as "The Universe".

You mean like gravity? and wind? and heat? and friction?

Those are definitely "forces" that shape our lives...

Thankyou all for your stories and comments. I shed tears as I read and say goodbye to an old invisible friend that was never there. And realize it was me all along. Thankyou again, you are all my connection to strength, clerity and sanity.

So change how you look for guidance. That's OK. Doesn't have to be just one kind of prayer.
Replace your old ideas with new ones. I did. Worked great!